how many missing people do you know of in real life?

[notnowmarmaduke]

Just wondered - we are always saying how common it is, but how many of us know many missing people? Of course you might be closely associated with a missing person and not know it, as people don't necessarily talk about it, or might just not know themselves.

I have only known two people reported as missing, long term. one friends father, who was the classic went out for a pint of milk and was never seen again. ( 30+ years now). One runaway teen never found (15+ years)

Apart from that I have known a few runaway teens who were found, and two people reported as missing who I know went into witness protection

Also, have you ever been reported missing?

The minor teenager of one of my extended family members ran away from a mental health facility. She eventually reappeared when she became old enough to access some assets and then left again. I’ve often wondered if she is ok. I have no way of knowing if she was really in crisis or if she was just escaping a bad situation with her parents using the only path left to her at that point.

2 - missing couple declared dead, person convicted for their murder but no bodies.

Most people I knew that went missing turned up, sadly having passed away.
A family friend went missing while travelling abroad, one day their letters to friends and family just stopped. This was before the days of social media and mobile phones.

None and don't know anyone that does either

Not missing but knew some murdered people and a murderer.

My stepdad went missing following a bust up with my DM (who had early onset dementia) the police were looking for him for nearly a week, sadly he walked out into the woods and took his own life.

This is heartbreaking. I'm sorry for your trauma and hope you find the truth one day.

You'd be surprised. I'm sure a lot of my friends would say they don't know anyone who knows a missing person, because it's not something I tell people about often.
When I have told people about it, I'm surprised how many others have stories of people going missing too.

There was a man sleeping in a doorway near my first rental flat. I always felt sorry for him possibly as we were about the same age. Anyway I’d say hello and bring some food. One day he told me he’d been in touch with his Mum and wanted to go and see her and straighten out his life. He asked if I could wash some clothes for him so he could turn up clean, he said he didn’t have any one else to ask. I did and then he disappeared. It was more than twenty years ago I do hope he made it back to his Mum and is living a good life. It’s interesting how some people touch your life and have a long lasting impact.

I don't know of anyone missing.

There was a local lady who I don't know missing for a few weeks and her body was just found in the river.

DC1 and DC2 were the same age as, and were then friends with, two siblings in primary school. I got on well with their mum, who died very young in her 30s (it was awful). Her partner developed alopecia after her death. Her DC3 went missing a few years afterwards and was found dead. I guess he couldn't cope with everything he'd been through. So sad and so horrendous.

A dear family friend joined a cult maybe 25 years ago and has never returned. She was such a kind young woman and they took advantage of her and brainwashed her.

A girl a very similar age to me went missing in the 90s when she was a schoolgirl, in the town where I know live. She's never been found. It was quite high profile at the time.

When Sarah Everard went missing I realised I recognised her from university. I didn't know her though, only by sight.

I was a missing person once, for a few days. It was basically a mental health crisis. Suicidal but couldn't quite do it. Things are so much better now.

Not a close friend, but someone I knew socially for many years. He got a new job in a different city and just stopped contacting his friends. Then he apparently became a holiday rep in mainland Europe - one of his friends even got the holiday company to pass on a message, but no reply. I’ve just looked at his Facebook page to jog my memory and he’s been off radar for 15 years.

A couple of people have claimed to have had Christmas cards from him, and one even said they’d seen him on holiday, but none of his closest friends have heard anything. I did wonder if he was avoiding someone specific, but it seems strange he’s cut everyone off to do that. I wonder if the people saying they’ve seen or heard of him are actually trying to quell suspicion for some reason 😕

A friend from university, we had lived together with the same housemates throughout university. It was common not to see each other for a day or two in our final year as we were all so busy. But when we hadn’t seen here for two days we knocked on her room, no answer, went in and all her belongings were there so we thought she was at the library etc. She didn’t come home that night, and wasn’t one to stay out so the next morning we reported her missing. Her parents came the next day, when university finished (so about 7 months later), she was still missing. It wasn’t even in the local press, the police were poor, they didn’t even speak to us for about three weeks, never once set foot in her room or anything. Their disinterest was scary.

I have a friend whose sibling has MH issues and frequently disappears for months at a time. It's very frightening for my friend and there doesn't seem to be anything that can be done for said sibling.

Omg! You just reminded me of something. I was reading this thinking that I don’t know anyone who went missing, but many years ago I was very friendly with a guy who had a bit of a crush on me. He was quite chubby and started to lose weight. He got quite thin and told me that he had got involved with Scientology. He explained to me about some cruise ship they had and that he was going to live and work on it and would I like to come with him. I declined. He went off and was never heard of again.

These stories are so sad

I had a housemate at uni. We'd all lived in halls together the previous year. One of them had a massive issue, as both her mum and her aunt had taken their lives. I woke up one night in March (when the above had happened) to friend standing over me wearing white PJs - scared the absolute shit out of me! I locked my door after that!!

When the five of us were living in a student house, she used to say things like, if she went down the whole house went with her! It was frankly terrifying! We never went back to the house singly and we put heavy furniture behind our bedroom doors! In the end we went to the uni and her dad took her home.

So while she didn't go missing, she caused a huge amount of anxiety and fear!

My paternal grandfather. Showed signs of early Alzheimers. Managed to get out without anyone noticing and was never seen again, despite years of searching.

I know of 3 who went missing for a few days. 2 were found, the other one's body was found by the police.

Tell us more

I ran away twice as a teenager, abusive mother, managed get live in work in a hotel - age/I checks weren't what they are now so never went back until years later with dc. Mum wasn't well mentally then and l forgave her as l realised she'd been probably unwell all along. We actually got on well then over all when the tables were turned (and it was me looking after her).
Another bizarre connection to a missing person was just after Suzi Lamplugh went missing and it was still very much in the news l moved to Southern Ireland with my then husband for a few years. A customer who came in the bar regularly where l worked was absolutely convinced l was her. He would tell other customers at the bar his theory and ask their opinion. I was a similar age etc.and l did have a look of her as a few people said especially the main photo of her circulated at the time.
Also the timing of us relocating there from UK and my now exh had more than a passing look of the so called 'Mr Kipper' having same kind of thin sharp features. The fact we had two young DC didn't put him off either, he just said they must be my exhs/Mr Kipper's kids.
He even went as far to have the Gardai check me out and they told him they were satisfied l was not her and that l had shown them ID and pics of me with my family (l volunteered these as l wanted him to stop and knew he wouldn't be easily swayed). I really hoped he wouldn't contact anyone who might give the family false hope but thankfully the Gards having a chat with him seemed to do the trick.
I don't think he was a bad person but had just convinced himself it all fit.
Very very ad they never found the real Suzi.

"ID checks"

Sure I saw that too.

There cannot be anything worse than a missing person. You often hear families share their "relief" that remains have been found, that that's better than knowing nothing. Your heart goes out to anyone facing this.

Just one, my uncle. He had severe mental
heath issues after fighting in Korea, had a difficult life and (long story short) eventually ended up in prison. When he got out he disappeared. My grandmother (his mom) looked for him for years, hired detectives and even went to psychics. Then one day my SIL randomly found an obituary that sounded like it could be him. My mom investigated further and it was him. He lived for 25 years in a tent near a church, they let him stay because he looked after the grounds. Parishioners
brought him food etc. Then they found him dead one day in his tent and posted the obituary to see if they could find his family. Before that, no one knew his full name.

I know of one; a family friend who went missing while studying abroad. A few of his belongings were found, if I recall, but it's been over ten years now. The case went cold and a memorial was held, and it's generally assumed that he either committed suicide or fell victim to death by misadventure.

It's unlikely anything more will ever be discovered, but I still hope that someday something is found so that his family can have closure.