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Original poster

how many missing people do you know of in real life?

417 replies

notnowmarmaduke · 03/04/2024 19:56

Just wondered - we are always saying how common it is, but how many of us know many missing people? Of course you might be closely associated with a missing person and not know it, as people don't necessarily talk about it, or might just not know themselves.

I have only known two people reported as missing, long term. one friends father, who was the classic went out for a pint of milk and was never seen again. ( 30+ years now). One runaway teen never found (15+ years)

Apart from that I have known a few runaway teens who were found, and two people reported as missing who I know went into witness protection

Also, have you ever been reported missing?

OP posts:
takeitorleave · 03/04/2024 23:35

My DH's cousin disappeared about 40 years ago - had drunk the family business away and just upped and left his wife and children. Never been heard of again and has a pretty common name so difficult to search for. My DH was quite close to him as a child and often wonders what happened to him 😕

BlueSoul · 03/04/2024 23:35

One. Someone very close to me. Thankfully we did get closure of sorts, the not knowing is agonising.

AngryLikeHades · 03/04/2024 23:38

I would probably be thought of as missing by my family but I upped and went with advice from women's aid because I was repeatedly sexually abused as a child and older by one of my parents whilst the other did nothing. I'm in my 30s and they scarred me for life.
Judging by their actions, they can not comprehend why I would do such a thing.

AliceMcK · 03/04/2024 23:39

Old workmates brother - national appeal (not UK) - suicide.

Uncle - I never actually knew him I was a baby, so almost 50years ago, fully expect he’s long dead. Devastated my grandmother not knowing what happened to him. My DF and some of his siblings were the same but others think he walked away and that was his doing.

Two school friends or at least class mates, one body found COD unknown. There was an appeal for witnesses but none came forward. What information was known we (that’s locals and people who knew her) suspect something horrific happened. I will never forget seeing her face in the papers.

Second, there was a local missing appeal, around 30 years later, not come home, unusual behaviour etc…she turned up. Not sure of the details but through the grape vine I think she just wanted time to herself after a messy few years. I very much doubt there would have been an appeal if it wasn’t for social media.

MyOtherProfile · 03/04/2024 23:41

My step dad. He married my mum when I was little and I never knew my real dad. He went away for work when I was an adult and had left home and he never came back. Never made any news, police weren't interested. We eventually heard he was alive but he never made contact.

FoxyLoxyLoo · 03/04/2024 23:48

My best friends brother has been ‘missing’ for 24 years. They know where he went missing but his body has never been found. Where we live there’s always people going missing and quite a few haven’t been found, the hills have taken many lives over the years and they will continue to do so.

mrlistersgelfbride · 03/04/2024 23:49

One lad from school, was vaguely in my social circle. No one saw him from the age of 17 after his father died. Seems to have vanished.
No social media presence ever, none of his friends have ever seen him since. People always ask about him but no news. He didn't tell anyone anything.
He was a nice guy I do wonder what became of him. 22 years ago now.

stillmissed · 03/04/2024 23:51

My daughter. Believed dead and disposed off long ago, but part of me clings to hope against reason. The police have little interest.

I search the found dead and remains website routinely, just in case.

I recovered an item of her property with her name part of a prominent design, from an auction house, and traced the name given by the person auctioning it, and a number.

He claimed to just happen to be a childrens social worker, who by chance had randomly seen and stopped at a garage sale at the address where it had been claimed she died at.
It isn't an item most would see as valuable, he claimed to specialize in it's genre, and that the signature of the items maker made it possibly collectable so he brought it and put it into auction.

I don't know what to believe.

mrlistersgelfbride · 03/04/2024 23:56

@stillmissed I'm so sorry for what you have been through 💐

NoTouch · 04/04/2024 00:04

My dad’s brother disappeared for over 30 years, he was an alcoholic and had a wife and two young dc in Scotland. Was reported to police and assumed he was homeless or in a ditch somewhere.

Showed up 20+ years later with a new grown up family. His mum, my gran died not knowing he was still alive. Had been living down south. Still an alcoholic.

Lindy2 · 04/04/2024 00:05

There are some very sad stories on here.

I have a friend who went missing for 1 night which was scary enough. Luckily they were found safe and well the next day. They'd had some kind of health episode.

I do know 2 high profile murderers though who are both in prison. That shocks me still. Neither were people I would have thought for one moment to be a potential killer.

margotsdevil · 04/04/2024 00:05

One.

Part of my wider social circle in my late teens. Left his family home one morning without his wallet or anything (I suspect pre mobile phone - not many of us had one at that point). This would be more than 25 years ago now. Convinced he disappeared through choice though and is living his life well away from where he grew up.

Cvn · 04/04/2024 00:07

My cousin. Ran away leaving her two young kids about 20 years ago after her affair came to light. Her mother and sister searched and searched, literally went door to door in town after town trying to find her. She was young, extremely beautiful, and vulnerable, eventually we all assumed she had been trafficked or otherwise exploited, or killed. But she made contact with her sister out of the blue last year. I don't know what she's been through - I think she's told her immediate family though. Very difficult for her children, now adults, to deal with.

Professionalmess · 04/04/2024 00:13

Me. Kind of.

Thoroughly estranged. No contact for over a decade and moved many times since. There's police in the family so I expect they could find me if they really needed to, but with a common name, no socials etc, I think Joe public would struggle to track me down if not currently active in my life.

Aydel · 04/04/2024 00:14

Two former colleagues. Both had committed suicide.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 04/04/2024 00:20

One immediate relative, and one that was my friends ex.

LoadsToLose · 04/04/2024 00:22

1 - my husband’s aunt. Went abroad decades ago to live and not heard from by any of the family… she just disappeared. Nothing bad had happened with her family, just really odd.

I guess it’s estrangement rather than missing but who knows what happened to her. I never met her, but think it’s strange for someone to do this and family not to investigate. I would hope my family would!. I imagine it was a lot easier to start again back then, without social media and internet connections.

Thelnebriati · 04/04/2024 00:28

One. I've been searching for her for years. She's either dead or changed her name and started over. I'm 99% certain that if she were alive, she would have found a way to contact me - other people have managed it.

Avonia · 04/04/2024 00:30

Just one - a classmate when I was an undergraduate. Given the circumstances, it was sadly most likely a suicide, but his body has never been found. Some of the land near where he is believed to have disappeared is now being developed, and I do wonder if he will come to light during that process.

Noyesnoyesok · 04/04/2024 00:31

My brother pissed off to India 25 years ago. My poor mum only ever heard from him when he needed money! We last saw him almost 10 years ago when Mummy died.
Only contact has been him bullying me and my sister because he was disinherited!
Have absolutely no idea where he is …sad but true .

Noyesnoyesok · 04/04/2024 00:33

I regularly think about Maddie . Cannot imagine how her parents and siblings have remained sane 😞

LauderSyme · 04/04/2024 00:35

@stillmissed I am so terribly sorry to read your story. My heart aches for you. Blessings upon you and your beloved daughter 💐

hornsofahugedilemma · 04/04/2024 00:38

Friend's son with serious mental health problems went missing for nearly two years. Was found abroad, now back in the UK and receiving treatment. Very vulnerable man. DH's uncle apparently vanished in the 1940s. He would apparently periodically resurface, but no one knew where he was living or when and where he died. Again, serious mental health problems.

Thea44 · 04/04/2024 00:40

Ex colleagues husband disappeared for months, found having died by suicide.
Another ex Colleague nephew went missing and also died by suicide.
Very ordinary life, nice families.
So surprisingly common I think

SpaghettiWithaYeti · 04/04/2024 00:41

I disappeared with my children for several weeks while we sorted court orders against my ex. In the sense that my ex and anyone he knew didn't know where.we were. However, the police and health services knew.where we were.and we stayed with a relative of mine.

It's why I would never share a "missing person" type post on Facebook etc, especially an unofficial one, as people often "disappear" for good reasons.

My friend's dad disappeared when we were teenagers and I know realise he was one of the early victims of the Post Office/horizon scandal. It was horrendous and tore their family apart.