Feeling out of the loop in my 50s

[whatisforteamum]

Feeling a bit low today.I was waiting for the bus when I realised I don't belong anywhere.
My colleagues don't like me which can be draining but the hours are considerably better than my last job.
Adult dcs have moved too far away to visit.
My dh grunts as he gets in watches TV until bedtime.
I always had a strong identity and purpose in my last role though.
I pride myself on doing a job lots of others would struggle with me
Apologies for the seemingly self pity party I wonder if anyone else 50 plus feels the same.

why don’t your colleagues like you?

you don’t mention friends?

so you never visit? how far away do they live?!

Colleagues took a dislike day dot.
I had hoped to win them over with my work ethic sadly not.

Is there anyone else in your life OP? Friends? Extended family? How far away are your children? Could you book a holiday to go see them even if it's just once a year?

Have you always felt like this or just in recent times?

Your workplace sounds a bit odd if everyone took a dislike to you before they even knew you! Maybe, despite the hours being suitable, you should look for somewhere else to work? A lot of time is spent at work and if you are feeling unhappy there then it might be worth moving on.

I don't think you are going to particularly win over colleagues with your "work ethic". Surely this is a given?

Being friendly, professional, chatty (to an extent), helpful etc makes for a good colleague (IMO), someone's "work ethic" wouldn't really be a factor.

Wishimaywishimight
I don't have close friends due to working unsociable hours.
I've looked for another job and been offered some with unsociable hours again.
I had such a full on life before and fantastic colleagues.
Onwards and upwards looking for something more suitable I guess.
I think younger with a variety of people helps keep the mind young.
I work with people who are my own age and they cannot wait to get away from work.
I actually enjoy the nature of the job.

op you have one hell of a back story with difficulties with colleague and in the workplace

you don’t have friends due to unsociable hours?

its 4.30pm and you have finished work and heading home

Yes couple of them have made my life hell.

Previously worked 12 or 13 hour days until 10:30 pm weekends,bank hols Christmas easter.mothers day,father's day

I understand OP. I was bullied out of a job that I loved and have ended up in a wfh role. I also live alone and can feel totally disconnected and like I don’t belong anywhere now. I find focussing on who / what I do have and investing in those relationships helps, but am also looking for a new in-person role as well. If you have no pattern of fractured relationships then just focus on making positive change and know the current situation is temporary.

Newme2024 I think you are right about the job.
Sorry you've been through this too.

Just applied for another job.
Similar hours
Some weekends though
Similar pay and commute.
Wish me luck.😁

Good luck!

Can you start a new hobby?

Can you suggest a new interesting date with your husband ?

Can you meet your DC somewhere half way for a weekend?

Good luck with the job application 💐💐 you deserve to be happy

Interview tomorrow 😁
One DC far too far to meet but is back to visit next month.
Yes I need dh onboard for both of us having fun together.
Even a Sunday pub lunch .

What kind of work do you do? Caring?

100% get where you are coming from

Hospitality.

Interview went well and I've got a trial shift.
The atmosphere was busy and seemed welcoming.
Very hopeful I've found my new calling.
Much more vibrant setting.

@whatisforteamum hope everything goes well for you in the future. And you
must focus on having a happier future or it will grind you down.
You deserve happiness in work and in life too!
Unfortunately, some work (nearly all in my case) colleagues can be vile, horrid creatures and it only takes 1 rotten egg and the rest of the group will follow suit. Its a sad "pack" mentality they possess, like wolves!

@Newme2024 hope you're ok. Sorry you had to go through this. I'm experiencing this too and it's deeply unpleasant. I'm looking for a new job.

You are at work too long to be miserable.

You clearly need to find your tribe.

Good luck with the job.

Good luck

Good luck 😊

Amazing well done. I hope the trial goes well and that it spurs you on to make more positive changes outside of work.