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Original poster

How much should I charge my sons for living at home?

79 replies

Choochuw · 01/04/2024 17:37

I have 3 children.

1 still in high-school.

1 just starting his first proper job after doing volunteering/short apprenticeship.

Just a normal min wage job.

And a 2nd son who will be finishing college soon and again will be getting a min wage job probably.

I am disabled and when they were tiny I always thought it was mean to charge and I do want them to stay home as long as they want.

But obviously all CTC/CB has/will stop.
I do get housing benefit but I will get deductions for them both.
Council tax too.
Food is so expensive now
And my rent had gone up 8%

Should I just work it all out and charge a percentage? Or just charge what it is actually costing me to have them home.

I wish I was in a better situation and didn't have to ask :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 18:35

My rent is 500 pcm, 4 bed house.

The deduction will be £40 a week each. So £160 a month /320 for both of them.

I previously paid nothing towards rent.

And £40 each a month council tax.

That's before any food/electricity /gas.

OP posts:
Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 18:37

Gingerkittykat · 01/04/2024 18:07

Probably about £100 a week each as that is close to what you would have lost in CTC and CB for each of them. If they are working full time NMW it still gives them a lot of spending money.

Are you on PIP? If so you won't have a non dependent deduction on HB.

https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/benefits/housing_benefit_deductions_when_living_with_non_dependants#:~:text=Non%20dependant%20deductions%20means%20your,contribute%20something%20towards%20your%20rent.

I don't but I think I'm going to have to apply.

Thankyou. That's very helpful.

OP posts:
Imtioz · 01/04/2024 18:44

With the rent deduction, that doesn't sound right. If I wasn't working at all I'd be able to claim the equivalent of a one bedroom flat in HA/UC housing element for myself which here is more than £500 a month, so they wouldn't be making deductions. I would challenge that for starters.

If you do have to pay it, then you do need to be asking them for it, and for the council tax. That gets you square with how you were before. It's shit and none of you will have anything to show for it but sadly that's how things are OP.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 18:52

I think housing association vs private rent is different?

I looked at my area and you can get upto £1300 for a 4 bed.

My rents only 500 but they're already deducting £20 a week even though my sons not working atm.

OP posts:
Imtioz · 01/04/2024 18:55

No afaik it's just a set figure and if your rent falls below it then happy days. I'm housing association too. The figure you need though is what you'd get for a one bedroom in your area.

Definitelylivedin · 01/04/2024 19:01

It sounds like £300 should be the starting point given your figures.

I never understood the "it's their home so they shouldn't have to pay" brigade. It's my home too, but I still have to pay the electricity bill (as well as all the other expenses obviously)

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2024 19:02

thepickler · 01/04/2024 18:28

My DS19 pays £160 a month from his £1300 take home.

I still pay his mobile at £45, but have told him he'll need to take that on if he wants an upgrade in June, as I had planned to change him to sim only.

I will be helping him pay a car or insurance when he passes his test, but only for the first year.

Once I pay off my own car later year, I'll be aiming to save maybe £100 per month for him for when he decides to move out. Although that is going to be years away, which is fine by me.

Blimey! He’s never going to move out! So he has £1140 spending money every month? Also, have you actually priced up car insurance for new drivers?

caringcarer · 01/04/2024 19:04

I'd allow eldest DC have 2 months of all wages to himself then charge him £200 pcm for electricity, food and loss of 25 percent off council tax combined. Once your second son starts work he can contribute £200 too. I'd give them both 2 months free though as they might have to buy work clothes and stuff.

Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 19:04

Imtioz · 01/04/2024 18:55

No afaik it's just a set figure and if your rent falls below it then happy days. I'm housing association too. The figure you need though is what you'd get for a one bedroom in your area.

But I'll still get charged a deduction for them both living at home and working which will be almost 400 a month :(

So my HB will only be £100

OP posts:
tomorrowisanotherdate · 01/04/2024 19:05

Do you eat together or separately? If separate, give them a space in the fridge and they buy their own food. If together, give them a day of the week each when they are responsible for feeding everybody.

blueandwhitesquares · 01/04/2024 19:08

I say about 150 each rent is fair. It won't be a huge hit to them and it'll teach them they need to pay their way in life but so point out 150 each is very cheap and they should be careful with rest of wages, show them to save some for their futures etc

thepickler · 01/04/2024 19:10

@Soontobe60

Yes, I have. Rightly or wrongly, I feel bad about the fact that I've never been able to save anything for him turning 18. When his child trust fund came though, it was literally just the government amount, while some of his friends (not all) were getting thousands.

I know that shouldn't matter, but now that I'm in a better position myself, I want to give him something.

Regarding the dig money, that's what he's given me since his first full time job. I never increased it when he starting earning a little more. I will one day, but once we get the first year of car expenses out the way.

Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 19:11

blueandwhitesquares · 01/04/2024 19:08

I say about 150 each rent is fair. It won't be a huge hit to them and it'll teach them they need to pay their way in life but so point out 150 each is very cheap and they should be careful with rest of wages, show them to save some for their futures etc

150 doesn't even cover the rent increase though. Rent alone will go up 180 each.

OP posts:
NamingConundrum · 01/04/2024 19:21

You've got to work out what's fair. You may be losing £320 of your £500 rent, but is it really fair for your kids to be covering over half the rent? The rent portion should be £125 as that's 25%. Council tax will be 1/3rd as there are 3 above 18. Add a reasonable amount for other bills and food. You need to look into what you're entitled to. PIP, best way to claim UC (e.g. do you need to make joint claim with them).

blueandwhitesquares · 01/04/2024 19:21

@Choochuw oh dear sorry my mistake; 200 a month each then? Thwts still very cheap rent each for a room in a house share that isn't your parents house

blueandwhitesquares · 01/04/2024 19:22

@NamingConundrum I think only 2 under 18 as one child at school

Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 19:24

NamingConundrum · 01/04/2024 19:21

You've got to work out what's fair. You may be losing £320 of your £500 rent, but is it really fair for your kids to be covering over half the rent? The rent portion should be £125 as that's 25%. Council tax will be 1/3rd as there are 3 above 18. Add a reasonable amount for other bills and food. You need to look into what you're entitled to. PIP, best way to claim UC (e.g. do you need to make joint claim with them).

They would only be covering 'half' the rent because I'm lucky enough to have gotten a HA property 20 years ago.+ and the rent is very low.

If I privately rented £250 would be about one sixth of the rent on a 4 bed house in this area!

OP posts:
thepastinsidethepresent · 01/04/2024 19:36

The last 3 generations in my family and their friends all operated on thirds. A third for rent and expenses a third to save and a third to do what they liked with.

I had the same deal with my parents when I started working. I thought it was pretty fair.

EverySporkIsSacred · 01/04/2024 19:42

With my DD we started with a base amount which was her fair share of household bills: gas, electric, water, internet. Added to this was a portion of the food budget which I then had to keep an eye on to make sure I wasn't going over, including when we had takeouts which we limited to fit into budget. I even did a cost up of all the little things we'd pay for separately that you don't think of (loo rolls, laundry detergent etc).

If you are on PIP you won't have housing benefit deducted as PP said.
If you are on UC or ESA you'll need to figure out how much you'll have deducted. It's very difficult if they are on a zero hours contract as it may change dramatically every few weeks and you have to keep sending in proof of what they are earning (this bit was awful for us and felt very invasive and controlling, but necessary unfortunately).

The base amount didn't change per month and it also wasn't as much as CTC and child benefit together, so DD bought her own clothes and toiletries, choosing whether to buy cheap or not.

As I said, while it was necessary I felt awful for doing this but on the other hand DD is now far better at managing money than a lot of people her age!

Pineapplewaves · 01/04/2024 20:06

Divide all your bills and household expenses into four, you pay 1/4 for yourself and 1/4 for each of your sons who are not working. As your sons start working and earning their own money they pay a 1/4 share each.

Spendonsend · 01/04/2024 20:23

I paid 1/3 of my salary to my mum from 18 until i left home.

I dont think splitting the 'cost' of having them between is unfair at all.

I dont quite understand what happens when they leave home - would you have to move to a different place (my mum did when i left home)

Original poster
Choochuw · 01/04/2024 20:36

Spendonsend · 01/04/2024 20:23

I paid 1/3 of my salary to my mum from 18 until i left home.

I dont think splitting the 'cost' of having them between is unfair at all.

I dont quite understand what happens when they leave home - would you have to move to a different place (my mum did when i left home)

Well yes when they don't live with me anymore I'll downsize to a 2 bed flat.

And because I won't have any working non dependants I will get full Housing benefits again.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 01/04/2024 20:57

Definitelylivedin · 01/04/2024 19:01

It sounds like £300 should be the starting point given your figures.

I never understood the "it's their home so they shouldn't have to pay" brigade. It's my home too, but I still have to pay the electricity bill (as well as all the other expenses obviously)

Me neither. When people say "why would you charge them to live in their own home." Well I get charged rent to live in my own home, what's the difference?

Imtioz · 01/04/2024 21:01

It does seem crackers that you'll only get full whack if you effectively deprive your kids of a home. I mean I think you're being unnecessarily penalised while they live with you.

And yes yes ofc some older occupiers may downsize but really not many do. They might move elsewhere so they can be near a beach or some damn thing but very few people choose to live in a smaller house on purpose for the sake of living in a smaller house.

Dacadactyl · 01/04/2024 21:04

Imtioz · 01/04/2024 21:01

It does seem crackers that you'll only get full whack if you effectively deprive your kids of a home. I mean I think you're being unnecessarily penalised while they live with you.

And yes yes ofc some older occupiers may downsize but really not many do. They might move elsewhere so they can be near a beach or some damn thing but very few people choose to live in a smaller house on purpose for the sake of living in a smaller house.

Edited

The expectation is that the working children pay their own way (which is good for them and normal) to help support the household.