I find April Fools day distressing

[Username947531]

Does anyone else hate it? I've got CPTSD and find it very hard to trust people. It's caused ASD type behaviours where i like things to be clear and often take things at face value. April Fools is hideous for me as I hate pranks at the best of times. Laughing at someone's distress and confusion is a horrible thing to do.

I do an activity that I love. It was a gorgeous day today so I went to said activity and the people running it had pranked everyone by displaying some information that would make the activity much harder. When I asked if it was a prank they promised me it wasn't. Of course it turned out to be one. It ruined the experience for me and now I can't trust the organisers. I feel irrationally upset about it and don't know how to get over that.

Why do people think this stuff is funny?

The organisers were not unreasonable, unless they knew that you're ND and struggle with trust, in which case when you asked if it was a joke, they should have been honest.

The organisers shouldn't need to know that a participant is autistic in order to clarify the truth to someone who asks. If anyone asks, they should disclose the truth and ask the participant to keep quiet so as not to spoil the joke for others. There are other reasons, such as learning difficulties, why a participant might not recognise the joke as a joke and disclosure of a medical diagnosis should not be required to obtain accurate event information.

People used to call wheelchair users "whingers" for wanting to be included safely as well.

Some people's lack of empathy is astonishing.

As you say, everyone else found it hilarious. I think it's you.

I have empathy for the OP @VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia . My career was with autism and I have an autistic family member. Much of my work was helping people to manage situations that they found difficult.
But these situations don't go away, and most of them shouldn't. Which is why learning to understand why it bothers them, recognising what others do get from it, and finding ways to manage their feelings, is so important for the people I taught and for my family member.

I know it's really hard to do sometimes, but unfortunately social situations cannot be changed and reformed for a small minority, in the way that physical access can.

@Elswhere

Yes why not complain about @Username947531 activity social event being discriminatory and disabilities to the organiser's of this event,

I don't think the organiser's of this event are being disablist and discriminatory,

I just think the organiser's were trying to bring a bit of light heartness,
in a time era which is being a lot of turmoil and still is,
Lockedowns and Covid Grim reaper death war conflicts , climate change etc,

There we are plenty lots of extremely depressing bleak triggering stuff for you to ponder about on the news with like minded people,

instead of being triggered by humour,

As interesting 🤔 i am disabled myself with three types of health disabilities and i come from extremely traumatic childhood Pstd of children's care homes etc,🏡

but i count my blessings, i have good sense of humour despite battling being disabled with no family support,

I know and appreaciate that there are people worse off than me for sure,
I am thankful that 🙏 i am disabled in an era a time when they have modern drugs available and accessible things to help people like myself in the home and outside to be more independent and also good surgeons who can treat some health disorders like myself..

@Username947531
@Elswhere

Ah just realised you can't escape from triggering stuff for ever in life,

Cause that's life .!!!!

Of course you can just "not prank" what an insane thing to say, April Fools isn't compulsory, thankfully I don't know a single soul who puts any stock in it or talks about it at all.

The "prank" at this group was horrible, I'm ND and I probably would not be going back especially if I'd remembered it was April fools day and asked specifically if it was a prank and been assured that it wasn't.

The organisers should have admitted it was an April Fool when asked.

But April Fool is a long-standing tradition. And I don’t want a world where everything has to be 100% serious. And I say that as someone ND who doesn’t get that kind of prank a lot of the time.

So just because you don't like something it should be cancelled. I mean it's not like April fool happens every year so you can be aware or anything.

They didn't say it should be cancelled.

Also so many of you do not seem to know what "triggering" means.

None of these things have triggered you.

How very strange.

@cerisepanther73 are you alright?

The organisers should have admitted it was an April Fool when asked.

This is it.

Knowing that today is April Fool's Day, suspecting that something is a prank, asking for confirmation, and the organisers lying is different from simply being pranked. It's the lie that's the real problem.

But you don't either I take it.

Sorry you're getting grief OP.
I'm sorry you had a hard time at your activity, I think that the problem is that when you asked about the new confusing information, the organisers stuck to their guns and continued the 'joke'. It would be worth speaking with the organisers to request that they are more sensitive to the possibility that users may genuinely find the joke upsetting and therefore to please tell the truth if they are asked.

However, I think that the majority of people probably enjoyed the joke, and I know it sounds harsh, but really the onus needs to be on you to cope with the situation. Either by avoiding activities like this on April fools day (if you actually remember; I forgot) or just accepting that these things happen and resign yourself to it. I don't think all AFD jokes and tricks should stop because they are upsetting to some people. I do think the organisers of your activity should have been more sensitive though.

Don't feel too upset about the responses to your post; Mumsnet can be a nightmare.

Maybe it's because of the Vagueness about the actual joke in the OP but I really don't understand what was funny about it to other people.

So... there's a track or whatever and the organisers said that there was a big hill or something on the track, making it harder than expected so some people would think "oh no, I possibly can't do this track or I will very much struggle" but then when you go round the track there's no hill... that's the joke?

Am I even more stupid than I though I was? I don't know what the funny bit is!

This does not sound like a particularly good prank. But I thought the connections game today was clever. Unfortunately humour is hard for ND people but it is really helpful in the wider society and it is not reasonable to expect it to be wiped out.

I totally understand feeling that way and sorry that it has been a tricky day for you.

I am ND myself and I often wonder what the world might look like if it was set up in a way that would make me comfortable and content. It would be amazing for me but honestly pretty shyte and joyless for the majority of other people who are not neurodivergent. I don't mean that in a rude way but I suppose what I'm saying is that it probably makes sense that people don't always cater for neurodivergence - because it sometimes means stripping away some joy for a wider majority of people. I think I see it as my job to cater for my needs and adapt where I need to, it feels shit and I really struggle but accepting that the world won't and probably shouldn't bend for me has been helpful.

I don't think they should have lied when you asked though. Hope you're okay 💐.

I'm neurotypical but I do take things at face value and I find it very difficult to work out when people are "just kidding". I agree with quite a few previous posters now, that the big problem here came when you asked "is this an April fool" and you were told that it wasn't. That is the point where, if they had instead said "Yes it is", you would probably have felt fine about all this, or at least, a lot more fine about it.