People coming over not invited -would you be annoyed ?

[ohpityoirdecordson]

So me and partner never get a day off together.
Today we are both off
Had plans for a nice day just in pjs all day
Nice roast ,Easter eggs,films etc
Last night his niece (who is 12) said we are coming over tomorrow (niece ,his sister and her partner )
They don't just stay for 10 mins either ,they will be here hours.
Not even a "do you mind if we pop over "
We couldn't say we were out as everywhere is closed
We not gonna be getting a roast till after 6pm now

Why would you do this? It's much more effort than just telling them you are busy.

Yes. You chose not to say you had plans.

Just say you have other plans. Maybe another time, and you’ll pop over to theirs instead?

Just say no OP! Don't let them spoil your lovely day off.

Pop them a message now OP. Don't ruin your day for them. A simple "DN said you were coming over, sorry its not convenient today, maybe Xxx date?"

I don't understand the issue, you just say you're not available surely?

Why are there so many mumsnetters unable to speak up and say" we are busy, can we do this another time?" or words to that effect?

It really isn't difficult.

These people outstay their welcome because they know they can.

@ohpityoirdecordson why don't you tell them to come late afternoon if you can't put them off?
And don't offer any food.

No, that doesn't suit us,sorry. Done.

As an adult, you are completely free to choose who enters your house and how long they stay, by communicating.

I’m confused why so many of you are blaming the 12 year old, Im guessing it’s not them that made the decision, I’m assuming her parents (OPs in-laws) have said, we’re going to visit Aunt & Uncle tomorrow. At least OP now has a heads up from DN and not just the whole family show up on the doorstep as it sounds like they would have it DN hadn’t text.

Just say you’re busy/have plans and will see them another time.

Plans that involve sitting in your PJs eating Easter eggs and chilling are just as valid as any other plans.

As you are cooking a roast anyway, why not ask them to eat with you? It is Easter, not any old weekend, and most people see it as a family time.
You could text and suggest a specific time , as in "come around 4 to eat, and we' LL be watching x film at 6".

What did you say to her?

The correct response would have been, ‘sorry, we already have plans tomorrow-let’s arrange a catch up soon though when we are all free’

There is no way I’d give up a day together like that when it could all be sorted so quickly just by using a few words!

So you’re going to have a crap day off entertaining them now?

I don't think many people can suddenly have enough Easter dinner food to feed double the amount of people expected, do they?

It's not a loaves and fishes situation 😂

Why should they? Having plans does not mean an event and I have never known anyone to come round and eat and be guaranteed to leave right on a scheduled time

All you have to say is "That would normally have been lovely, but we have plans. Thought I'd better let you know, to save you the journey, we'll catch up soon"!
That's not hard to do when you've had prior warning!
(If they'd just tipped up, no warning, that would have been slightly more difficult, you'd have had to yell " FUCK OFF!!!" through the letterbox then!!!) 🤣🤣🤣

I'm dying to know what you did/ say .
Please let us know.
Hope you're not sat there in your pj's entertaining them.. thinking of your roast dinner you will be having at 6.

The answer should have been NO.
You don’t owe them an explanation but if you wanted, a simple ‘we have things planned’ should be enough.
If they are rude enough to ask what plans, invent something. A walk in the countryside, work in the house. Whatever.

But you’ll need to learn to have boundaries and hold them. Because they are clearly rude enough that you’ll have to be much more blunt.

I suspect that her parents told her what's happening, and she had no idea that the OP hadn't invited them.

Just say no. Or be a doormat. Your choice.

Good summing up.

Simple- “We already have plans, sorry.
how about catching up in 2 weeks time?”

I always cook extra but not enough to feed an additional 3 people!!

I would have been delighted, I would cook the roast and share it with them, all the people saying they would say no are probably very lucky in that they have family to turn down, like you, I don't have any family at all and would love someone to drop in at Easter/ Christmas, life's short op be grateful you have someone to drop in.

Why didn’t you just say no? Seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to just meekly accept someone inviting themselves over. Just say, “We have plans so won’t be available.” You don’t need to say what the plans are. Just say you’re busy. It isn’t hard.