What one-pot buffet dish can I make for extremely fussy guests

[unconditional83]

Got family coming over and there are 8 of them. They are all very conservative / unhealthy in what they usually eat, and so I've no idea what to make. It will need to be buffet style / lap food due to lack of space.

Was thinking of making one pot of something hot with salads. But every time I think of something I feel like they won't like it. We eat very healthy and fresh food often spicy and lots of plants. They usually eat really bland and UHP stuff, basically the very worst of "British" food and the reason NHS is on its knees but don't get me started freezer food, virtually no veg, and for special occasions Christmas they have things like Iceland "party food", crisps, pork pies etc.

What can I make that's healthy and tasty which they don't turn their nose up. I don't want to buy the crappy UHP they would choose as I don't ever eat that stuff and nor do my DC, but at the same time I want to make something everyone enjoys.

Go to Iceland and fill the trolley with beige crap.

This is a good idea and easier to do than homemade pizza for 8.

A positive shout out for Iceland! OP, Iceland is great if you need to restock a freezer after a big defrost. Frozen veggies, berries and fish are all great from them.

For fairness, I also shop at Lidl, Waitrose, Tesco and M&S - when I can get there as they closed the one in my local town and didn't even leave us a 'Simply Food'. Hmpff.

I'd go for a chilli con carne myself. One with spice and a plainer one. Lots of rice and cheesey nachos on the side, so the really fussy dont go home hungry. Nice beer, low alcohol and no alcohol. A good choice of ice creams like Haagen Daz with no nasty additives in. With berries and toppings to choose from.

Iceland crap is often made in the same factory as M&S, Waitrose 'crap'etc

Could you not make a big meat pie with potatoes and some vegetables and gravy.
Surely nobody can complain about that especially if it's home made.
Followed by a trifle.

I imagine OP doesn’t pay much attention to the majority of France - just the charming village by her holiday rental in the Dordogne or Provence.

Take a look at the Iceland “crap” and make your own version.

Iceland is excellent for vegetables, frozen meats and frozen fish at affordable prices, btw. They sometimes have frozen mackerel fillets, delicious.

This makes no sense. When I visit them they don't serve healthy food, for example!

Haha!

The home made pizzas without cheese will be lovely 😆

@x2boys you must be from Lancashire ( the peas!) or Cornwall ? I’d love a local pasties shop I could buy frozen ‘ good quality ones’ from - are they online too?

Oh one pot. Lamb casserole then. Surely they cannot object to that.

I agree, nothing wrong with Iceland.

Am I alone in loving an Iceland picky bits feast?

You sound like a bundle of laughs and really don't kid yourself that your made from scratch pizzas will taste any better than ones from a supermarket.

I doubt they are viewing it as some kind of evangelical mission to convert you to beige food though.

Get off your high horse, do a buffet and include some stuff you want in there alongside nuggets and pork pies.

Is this a joke?!!

Have you asked them what they actually like to eat? Maybe do that, and take it from there. 🙄

Not everyone's a snob.

I would make a big paella and have it as the centrepiece as a crowd pleaser, with some sausages, cheese, smoked salmon and nice bread and maybe a salad at the side in case they won't eat the paella.

They don't even eat cheese??!

If you have the energy I would make nice homemade versions of things they like. Breaded chicken, home made chips/wedges, homemade lamb rissoles/burgers, wrap quality sausages meat in pastry for sausage rolls, your own pizza bases with tomato/garlic/topping (do they not have cheese on pizza either?) Plenty of sauces and dips. Add a big green salad and nice bread for those who like it.

Alternatively could you sauce better quality beige food? Cook online, m and s, farm shops and check ingredients?

Served in bowls to save your sofa with chunky tiger bread and butter on the side.

Maybe try an Iceland nugget. You might find out that you <gasp> enjoy it.

This level of angst judgementy feels like a parody of MN rather than a real problem.

Love stuff like that as a treat!
OP I would do a buffet that's a mix of ready prepared buffet food they might be used to alongside things your family like, then everyone can have things they like. And without the pressure of thinking they have to eat it they may try something new and like it, and you never know your family might too!
If you don't want to do that I would do Jacket potatoes and ask them what fillings they would like.

Yes what is UHP please