How on earth do I learn a foreign language?

[User854]

My husband and young children are bilingual and I feel sad that I can’t speak to them in or understand the second language (we do one parent on language so all my husband’s communication with the children is in his language).

I’ve been using Pimsleur for a year or 2 now but I’m not getting very far. My memory is hopeless and it feels like an insurmountable task.

How do I get fluent/semi fluent in a foreign language as an adult? It must be possible but feels impossible.

I’m time poor and sleep deprived too which doesn’t help, but that won’t change for some years.

I studied Spanish from scratch at Uni. (Already had A level French and Latin.) We reached good A level in 10 weeks, (while studying 2 other subjects) plus 3 weeks full time in a language lab. We were 'saturated' and were like zombies at the end of it, but made huge progress. We were by no means anywhere near a native level so this should tell you the sort of effort needed even by modern linguists to reach (only approximately) native. Later, after another 2 years studying French and having holidayed there from 5, I spent a year and a half in France, speaking very little English and mixing with all sorts. I ended up pretty fluent and could pass as 'native' at a superficial level. Conclusion. Language learning requires a huge daily commitment. I've tried Duolinguo but found it unsatisfactory. I think the best thing is proper lessons and native conversation classes. I think some culural groups like Cercle Francais run language classes at various levels.