If you're not easily offended..

[selfcheck]

And almost never hold a grudge - what would you list as your toxic trait/s?

Also what personality traits do you admire in others?

I tend to hold grudges or at my best withdraw and or sulk - I hate it.

I admire bubbly people and those who seem to roll through not too intense or too flighty not work shy but not workaholics either.

Share yours? And any tips re letting things go.

Thank you

(Name changed on this btw)

Well, I don't really hold grudges. I don't see the point. But I also wouldn't say that I have any 'toxic' traits, I think that's a horrible way to think about yourself.

I don't get offended or hold grudges, but can be very impatient (particularly with myself!) and am very, very distractible.

The traits I admire most in others are kindness and generosity - fortunately my dc are the very embodiment of this, so I am very lucky!

My top tip for letting things go is to realise that they are never about me.

What do you mean by 'easily offended'? Do you mean the kind of poster who stews for months about how two friends she introduced went for dinner together and didn't invite her, or the kind of poster who if afraid of looking 'humourless' if she challenges racism or sexism under the guise of 'bants'?

I don’t get offended easily because I don’t really give a toss about people outside my own immediate family & close friends and I couldn’t care less random idiots think about anything.

My weaknesses? I don’t really give a toss about people etc etc…

I absolutely do hold a grudge but I'm not easily offended. I always believe the best in people, I never look for reasons to take offence and frankly I'm probably a bit self absorbed so don't notice or care what other people are saying or doing anyway.

I procrastinate, I'm lazy, and I'm terrible at making the effort to stay in contact with my lovely friends who I don't deserve. But I don't get offended 😁

I think people might know if they are grudge holders, but are easily offended poeple aware that they are? Maybe I've just got the wrong definition of easily offended in my mind.

I think the thing that helps to not be so raw and brittle is to let things go. I don't mean as in pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff, I mean proper non attachment. If something doesn't work for me I just walk away. I may feel sad at the loss of a thing, but I can just mourne that and move on. No drama.

I hold very few grudges. Just a couple and I am in my 50s so that’s not bad going.
I think my tip would be to not be afraid to name the bad behaviour to yourself- yes that person was an arsehole - but then let it go on the grounds that we don’t all have to be perfect.

You can be easy going and still not think you have other toxic traits. In fact the easy going part comes from accepting your self worth and flaws and valuing others in the same way.

I don’t need friends to be perfect but I would question anything I felt was thoughtless or unkind. If people are meanies then I just let them go. Ultimately we all die - we don’t know when - don’t sweat the small stuff! Find every chance to laugh and enjoy and feel lucky.

I’m like that. Easy going, not sensitive and do not hold grudges. Not a sulker. Negative traits that I have:

procrastination
easily distracted
can bury head in sand re problems
impatient
no empathy or sympathy for moody people - just think they should snap out of it
do not like showing emotion
can’t really be bothered with making friends / working on friendships (although I’m a good friend and very pleasant)

I think it gets easier to let things go with age, I noticed that in myself.

Things I dislike about myself.
•I can be socially awkward, especially in a group, I feel anxious about how I’m being perceived.
• I get too flustered about “admin” type things. I worry I won’t be able to do things.
• lack of confidence holds me back particularly in career.
•I agonise over things I’ve done in the past.

I have and have always had a beautiful random life filled with people.

I don't hold grudges if for no other reason there is always, always someone else who comes along.

Just this evening, never bumped into before, but if we do again will most certainly say hello, a criminal lawyer in our local, who was listening to our conversation about teaching teens to throw a punch if need be correctly, and he offered his advice. Cue: longer conversation about favourite European food and AI job take over and legal consequences, plus the basic necessity for human contact.

I like people they are fascinating, even weird, insulting ones.

So no I don't hold grudges. I just move on.

I have one wild beautiful life.

Who wants to waste a day grudging. It gets you no where.

My toxic traits:
I really try not to be toxic

I am argumentative but only to figure out people

I am blunt

I just don't get some people. I don't I do try but it's obvious when I don't like someone and I really don't try to.

I've been known to ghost people. Not many and only when they've crossed a line and I can't be doing with them any more.

I hold a grudge against someone who ruined my career.
I’ve been gaslighted twice, but I don’t hold grudges against them. I don’t care enough about them to do so.
I wish I could develop a more optimistic outlook, but I guess it’s too ingrained now and things certainly aren’t going well. I tend to think that I don’t deserve good fortune, or for things to work out.

Im Easy going, chilled, don’t hold grudges. Growing up my mum used to say if I were any more laid back I’d be horizontal. I don’t think I have any toxic traits. Not sure how I’m this way really, I don’t dwell on things, I’m very present in the ummm….present.

Sulkers - please do not be offended but I honestly don’t understand holding grudges or sulking . It seems so weird to put yourself through it. The person you are cross with probably carries on regardless. It’s a really damaging and pointless thing to do. It must make you so unhappy and achieve nothing?
Of course I don’t like everyone I meet or like people’s choices/ behaviour but just try to be myself and enjoy my life .

I’m not easily offended, but I’m also not easily impressed. I don’t really go around trying to notice things to either be offended about or to admire about people. I don’t think there’s anything toxic about me, and I’m not interested enough in other people to find out what’s toxic about them. It is perfectly possible to coexist with others without a constant analysis of traits and pseudo-psychology.

I don't hold grudges takes too much effort and mind space.
I'm not easily offended as I honestly don't give too hoots about what most people think! Bad traits - I can be very career focused and will work extra to get the job done (been ill this week with fevers but still working from home).

Traits I admire in others is probably ability to small talk to people they don't want to be talking to I'm rubbish at it don't enjoy it

I’m not easily offended and don’t hold a grudge. Mostly because I am incredibly lazy and just can’t be bothered. That is also my toxic trait. Too lazy to care about almost anyone or anything.

I am very much a glass half full type of person, when things go wrong I'm good at getting over it very quickly. I am not at all easily offended and I don't really think I hold grudges. I would consider myself to have high self esteem and robust mental heath.

I struggle to have sympathy for people who are emotional or easily upset. And also for people who struggle to get over things and stew on stuff. I just don't understand them. Why waste potential happiness on being negative? I think I am pretty emotionally stunted and I probably offend people by being insensitive.

I'm also incredibly good at procrastination and always want to take charge of situations when people are not being logical, so I end up just being a bossy cow.

Oh and traits that I admire in others are integrity, sincerity and common sense.

I rarely get offended but very occasionally do. I think it's because I don't really care about what other people think or say about me, a trait that comes with age. Friends say I'm very easy going. I don't hold a grudge outwardly but I don't ever forget.

I’m a bit of a bitch and wish I could stop!

Good question. I don't hold grudges - I get angry but it dissipates very quickly. I can't remember the last time I was offended, I can't think of many things I take offense to! I've always held the view that what other people think of me is their problem, not mine 😂

I admire blunt, straight talkers and good manners.

I have no time for 'woke' people - to me, woke equals mean spirited, usually poorly educated people who derive pleasure from catching others out.