If you're not easily offended..

[selfcheck]

And almost never hold a grudge - what would you list as your toxic trait/s?

Also what personality traits do you admire in others?

I tend to hold grudges or at my best withdraw and or sulk - I hate it.

I admire bubbly people and those who seem to roll through not too intense or too flighty not work shy but not workaholics either.

Share yours? And any tips re letting things go.

Thank you

(Name changed on this btw)

Not easily offended.
Things like starving children, slave labour, animal cruelty including factory farming etc, fucking boil my piss.

I think being vegan is probably my toxic trait.

What do I admire about others? Kindness. Eating and living sustainably. We can’t do it all, but if we all did a little bit…. Perhaps there wouldn’t be so much suffering. Whether it be children or animals.

Grudges? Nope not really… I’m generous and kind but if you’re nasty, spiteful, mean spirited then you are dead to me.

I just find it hard to care what random folk think. Why would someone else's opinion matter to me? It's my opinion that's important to me. Plus a shocking memory so I don't really remember people/incidents.

The downside is I can't listen to modern radio as it is full of random people's opinions!

I get upset but it passes I don't hold grudges as I don't like to hold on to bad energy. I am good at letting things go. I focus on what's important and don't sweat small stuff. I don't think I have toxic traits, I'm quite happy with who I am and accepting.

I don’t take offence or carry grudges much, because it’s fundamentally unproductive.

I can be over sensitive, but ultimately what other people think of me is all about them. If someone does something unpleasant, then I’ve learned more about them, that’s all.

Toxic trait- fixer and people pleaser. Self pity.

I have been accused of being a Pollyanna by someone who felt I should revel in the misery and moaning with them, instead of trying to reframe things in a positive way!

I observe others behaviour but l don't absorb it.
I am very hard to offend because l know they are the one with the issues, not me. I try to be pleasant and cheerful to everyone, l know I'm a decent person, it's not what they say about me ,it's about what l say about me, l am mindful of my own self talk. I try and keep a sense of humour, l can't be bothered with other people's dramas.
If l think l am in the wrong l will be first to admit it and apologise. I don't have to be right.

I hold grudges like it's my job. And if you try and get something over on me, I will come at you with a vengeance. 🤣

My bad trait is I'm too blunt.

I call a spade a bloody shovel.

It unnerves a lot of people. (I'm short female and use a wheelchair. Also from the north hence.... )

I never hold a grudge. I don’t have the energy. My sister recently caused a huge fuss over something of nothing (in my opinion) and has ‘blocked’ me. I feel entirely neutral about it. If/when she ‘unblocks’ me I’ll be happy to just carry on as we were. I’ve had the same in the past with friends.

Im often described as relaxed, easy going etc when the truth is I really just don’t care 🤣

Id say my toxic or perhaps less desirable traits are;

1. The above can sometimes translate into not caring enough. I have to really make an effort to keep up friendships.
2. I am extremely secretive. Not just big things but small things too. This can lead to me becoming withdrawn and down but I really need to learn to open up.

I admire people who are genuinely interested in other people during a conversation. People who keep busy and gets loads done. People who know what they want and go for it to make it happen.

I have 2 grudges and at pushing 50 I am ok with it. Grudges in that I cut the person(s) out of my life and won’t give them then time of day. One bullied me out of my job. Another spread malicious lies about be. I feel that is fair.

do not get easily offended. I have a pretty high tolerance for most things. But I cannot abide bigots.

I find it impossible to hold a grudge, but I do wonder if it's part of my underlying laziness and lack of real tenacity, so there's that!

Ditalini! She'll never fall out with you because she can't really be arsed so she'll have forgotten by tomorrow.

I am this - ‘…..bubbly people and those who seem to roll through not too intense or too flighty not work shy but not workaholics either.’

mainly the way to do this is to not give a fuck about most things, thereby saving your attention and cut throat behaviour for the things that matter. So on 90% of things I will happily give in coz I don’t care. But on the 10% I will use every means necessary to get my way.

Plus I am really nice to people but at the same time I really enjoy ‘innocently’ upsetting people. Most people like me a lot and think I am really nice. I think they are my meat puppets and IDGAF

I am not easily offended nor do I hold grudges against people. I am pretty laid back for the most part. I am also pretty self contained so I don't get too involved in what other people think or say about me. Mostly I think if someone says something which could come over as unkind it is usually just them being clumsy but if someone really goes for it and its obvious they have it in for you I just find that kind of sad, it certainly says more about them than about you. In an old job this older woman tried to bully me, but it was like water off a ducks back to me, she wasn't very bright and I knew she felt threatened by me, I actually felt kind of sorry for her and tried to be nice to her. In the end other staff flagged it up to the bosses and she got disciplined over some of the things she had done but I never really felt upset about it, it just didn't affect me.

I am not really a bubbly type, I am pretty quiet, verging on a being a bit of a loner although I'm not shy and I do have friends but I'm just a bit antisocial at times. Most of the time with small talk I feel like I am sort of "acting" at what I am supposed to do but it isn't naturally where my conversation would go.

I suppose I do admire people who are more sociable than me and extrovert because that is nothing like me. Having said that I wouldn't want to be like that myself nor would I want to live with someone like that, DH is very much like me.

Myself - Sometimes I think I might be a psychopath.

Other people - I don't know there's anything I admire. There's things I lack that I see in others and recognise are advantageous but I don't think I feel admiration as such.

That’s an interesting question.

Im not easily offended at all, and am almost incapable of sulking. I think neither of my parents were sulkers, which probably accounts for it in large part. I just assume everyone is doing their best with what’s available to them. Does that make sense?

I have so many toxic traits. I’m a know it all. I always think I know better than everyone else. I can’t help it. But I’ve learnt how to mask it as I know it’s awful.

Im disorganised, inconsistent. Full of ideas, never follow through. I’m also terrible at interrupting people.

In others, I admire kindness, but also discipline. I’m always really impressed by people who are super impressive but have humanity and understanding for those who aren’t like that. I can’t imagine being really together but having empathy for people who aren’t like that at all.

I don't ever really get offended. One of my worst traits is that I'm very no nonsense and I get irritated by what I perceive as "dramatic" behaviour. So when people cry after having a bad day or something. I'm well aware this isn't particularly kind. I think because I'm quite hardened and just get on with things I expect the same from others, but everyone is different.

Positive trait is that I'm brilliant at my job (customer service) as I can cope fine with being yelled or sworn at. I'm also a very organised person.

I don’t hold a grudge, but if someone annoys me I just will not bother with them at all. I don’t stew on it. Life is too short to spend time around people who get on my tits. I am polite and fair to everyone but only friendly to a select few who don’t irritate the shit out of me.

In my late 50s and I don't hold grudges or sulk, and am very difficult to offend. I suppose my worse traits are that I'm impatient, intolerant of malingering (I'm not good with ill people) and am ultra-competitive in areas of my life where it's completely pointless to be so. But I suppose at least I recognise it in myself 😆

I don’t hold grudges and rarely get offended. I always like to think the best of people and sometimes we all make mistakes.

My toxic traits? I don’t think it’s really toxic but I lack confidence and self esteem and find it hard to make close connections with others.

I’m a bit of a control freak, I’m not overly partial to change, but I do love children and dogs. And, if I must, I can roll with changes even if I dislike them.

Oh and in others I admire those with effortless and genuine social ease and those who brighten a room just simply by being present.

@Acommonreader this is a good mindset. However, I don’t think those that hold grudges choose to. I try very hard not to, but crumbs it’s hard at times. I’ve always been hugely jealous of those who can let things slide so easily. I can be petty and I hate it, I mull things over and over but ultimately won’t settle until I’ve opened by big ol’gob. I’m getting their with age. But I really do believe some people are wired that way and only become able to let things go through age/experience. I lost a friend a few years ago to cancer, she was amazing, truly, so funny and warm, but in the last few years of her life, pre diagnosis her husband left her for another woman, she was eaten up and did some extravagant things as revenge. She spent precious time being eaten up and looking for revenge - little did she know she hadn’t long left. I guess that was my wake up call, but she was not to know.
so yeah, you’re absolutely spot on, I’m just not sure some people can help it. It’s as if some of us need to retrain our brains.

Workaholic and perfectionist :(

I'm straight talking, but caring and empathetic at the same time. I'm respectful around people and a proper stickler for good manners!. But.........I'm of the age where I can't be arsed will bullshit,so whether that be a case of holding a grudge /cutting toxic people out - then as long as I'm happy that's OK!

Both!