If you have autism/ are autistic, what's your biggest challenge?

[heatemyeasteregg]

For me I just find it very difficult to relate to people. I can't understand why people get upset over things that are normal life things. I also find it hard to make friends.

What are the normal life things that you see people getting upset about? That you don’t?

I'm quite direct and people tend to not like that. I tend to just say things like they are. Today I told my colleague that I disnt want her to write on my folder because I think her handwriting is untidy. She was annoyed but I didn't mean to be rude, I was just being honest.

I’m newly diagnosed at 56. I find lies really hard to cope with and although I understand that people can lie for their own benefit it just doesn’t compute for me so I struggle to deal with situations involving any sort of deceit.
Also general social situations unless with just one or two good friends.
Don’t do well with change.
I like people to stick to boundaries and rules.
Much prefer animals to people.
Get easily overwhelmed if more than one thing is going on.
Very sensitive to sensory stuff.

I don't like change. I like to know what to expect in every situation otherwise I feel like I'm drowning. I also don't like loud music playing and I don't always get sarcastic comments so I really struggle to understand conversations

Socialising. I understand HOW it works. I just don't feel it, I don't feel the flow, it doesn't come to me, It is just such hard work. I fake it all and it is so tiring. I calculate everything but I can never get it right.

advocating for myself has always been difficult. Appointments etc have always been hard

I'm still waiting to be officially diagnosed but we're pretty certain I'm autistic as it's rife in my family.

I can't deal with people that drop hints. I just can't grasp what they are meaning. You need to be clear with what you want to say because I won't understand it otherwise.
I also don't "get" most sarcasm, it takes me far too long to pick up on what's being said.

Change. Especially unexpected change.

People wanting to make chit chat. Hate it. I think why are you telling me this? I’m very practical and functional and just want to get on with stuff.

My son is autistic and I feel like the more I learn about autism the more I have a "typical brain." I pick up on the tiniest nuance of social interaction and I would always think in a conversation firstly how would this make the other person feel. I feel like I'm too conscious of social interaction, too aware. I always understand hints or unspoken gestures. I do a job that requires me to understand people and read between lines.

Sorry to derail, it is very interesting to read about different brains.

The small talk. I feel like running away and hiding. I also feel a fundamental disconnect with others and constantly worry that they'll find out I'm fake and just pretending to be like them. I also hate noise, busy places, chemical smells and fragrances and being too hot. I'm always too hot. I get very upset about wildlife suffering and trees being cut down as well. I got very depressed and had to leave my career. I just have a simple job now and am much happier.

I've not been officially diagnosed but am on a waiting list for ADHD and ASD.
I find it hard to talk when there's a lot going on or it's very noisy.
I take things literally sometimes and I don't get 'tongue in cheek' overly sarcastic humour.
I'm not great with small talk but will happily talk about interests ie dogs, food and nutrition, walking.

The fact I am actually very social and desperate to be with friends or have friends but no one see me as friend material just as someone that needs to be looked after so no one ever wants to be with me socially a lot of the time

on the few occasions I have make friends, like last year, I then did have a meltdown in public. Everyone thinks that does no change nothing but I can tell the difference in peoples when they have seen that and you stop get invited places and they avoid see you 💔

I always try be good person and never understand why no one wants to be with me

Selective mutism (it’s ruining my life)

Not being able to communicate

Being so reliant on dh

shutdown and not knowing if I’ll ever function at any kind of normal level again

And I want to be like everyone else ,t age and have a partner/family but I am nearly 40 and just be by my own since my dad died. I no understand why

Oh and being truthful all the time - this does me no favours despite being the right thing to do ?

Getting very affected by things that don’t seem fair (for me or others)

@bryceQ the way you have described yourself matches exactly how I would describe myself. I am autistic.

That pisses me off at work. Like, you don't actually care how I am, just tell me what you need from me 😂

Exactly 🤣

Theres a meme of Jack Whitehall’s Dad in a taxi moaning about this sort of thing - “how is my day?! You don’t give a fuck what my days like… “ it’s quite funny if you seek it out.

Socialising. I don’t enjoy it, I get a lot of anxiety before hand and have to really push myself to do it, many times I won’t attend social events, ie, with colleagues etc, but with family/extended family I have to force myself. I have a couple of close friends, i value the friendship, but if I could just WhatsApp them forever more, I’d be more than happy with that. I don’t want to lose these friendships so do need to push myself.
I don’t get small talk, I find it pointless, and the polite laughing a long seems strange to me, as in my opinion it’s not always amusing. I can and do mask, but I find it all strange.
I can’t read between the lines, I’ll often ask dh what something means, or what that facial expression means, this can even be on the tv, sometimes I just don’t always know what the other person is thinking. I feel drained after social events, or even just doing the school run and pushing myself to talk can mean I need some quiet time afterwards to recharge, and feel less overwhelmed.

I am not diagnosed and won't be getting diagnosed (if I had the money to spend on it I'd get my DC diagnosed instead).

But I am more and more averse to spending time with people. I have a very people-focused job, which is great when I'm talking about my specialist subject but all the other stuff is burning me out (is that a phrase?)

There's a new woman at work and I had to speak to her the first day to show her some things she needs to know. I've caught her looking at me a couple of times since and I wonder if she's wondering why I was so talkative that first time and now every time she sees me (usually in a group, or when I can't face small talk) I'm silent!

I'm thinking of going part time or finding a different job entirely. Other people are just too much!

I've just started out on the path to assessment at 34 (got to pick some forms up from the GP and I'm already dreading that as I don't go often and so don't know what to do when I get there...)

For me it's sensory - cannot stand sudden loud noises, high pitched sounds (children have an ability to squeal at just the right frequency that it's physically painful) and certain textures are unbearable. I can do VERY obvious sarcasm but deadpan humour goes over my head. I also can't read people and struggle to understand social cues. I have a very small circle of friends - and most of them are autistic or in some way neurodiverse. In a group of up to about 4 I can do social stuff, when the group gets bigger I get lost so stop talking, or jump from conversation to conversation trying to fit in. I can also be incredibly blunt at times without meaning to and that's caused a few issues socially. I suspect people just tolerate me, really.

Following with interest

Some very relatable comments here.

Not knowing when to talk, how much to talk, when to stop talking, I always feel like I'm getting it slightly wrong.
Anything that requires reading between the lines.

I have two autistic children and they both have very different symptoms although I can see so much of myself from when I was younger in both of them. The hardest thing for me is to not also get overwhelmed when they are struggling the most. I also hate not being prepared.