Do you think it is bad form to for a person to use their intelligence humiliate someone else?

[brookboxed]

Do you think it is bad form to for a person to use their intelligence and education to humiliate someone else in a conversation when that person is obviously not as bright or as educated?

I think it is and that there are more diplomatic ways of resolving these things and getting your point across with out resorting to humiliation. I think in my life there have been multiple times when I could have done this to someone, even been tempted to but to me its so unkind and counterproductive when you are trying have a productive conversation.

I just ask as I witnessed this kind of thing at work yesterday from a very bright colleague who seemed to relish humiliating a more junior member of staff in this way. I previously had a lot of respect for them but have been very disappointed to see them act in this way.

Pa if spag is spelling and grammar, yes it's rude to correct others, including on social media. I did correct my own kids, though, and now they are adult they are glad I did.

If someone tried that with me I used to smile and say " Great . Now in plain English please " and laugh . It took the wind out of their sails . They get off on your discomfort.

This

But depending on what was actually said, that may just highlight your own failure to grasp an expected level of specialised language in a specific professional area.

There's a horrible tradition in academia of using big, convoluted words for no other reason than to create a smug, elitist club of people all using these needlessly complex phrases. It's like a giant dick swinging contest. I find it very odd. I celebrate when someone who is extremely bright and capable explains something using run-of-the-mill wording, and doesn't talk down to people. That can be in person, when reading a textbook chapter or article etc. It's so refreshing. I think it's a sort of culture that exists in that sphere which has just grown and grown, it's laced with misogyny as well just to make it more utterly shit. It leaks out into day to day interactions when these people enjoy a little flex in order to feel good about themselves.

Such people likely know they are wildly deficient emotionally, so they need something to feel good about inwardly. They lean heavily on being clever as they don't have much else going for them. Pretty pathetic and sad that they need to put others down in order to feel good. Or, in even worse cases, because they are cruel and sadistic and just purely take pleasure from making other people feel shit. I always see through it, but that doesn't mean it feels great to be patronised or talked down to, it still sucks. I think it reflects massively badly on people who do this.

I would say people who do this are actually not very intelligent. They may be educated but lack empathy and humility.

Someone on here tried to intellect shame me recently after I committed the cardinal sin of a typo. Within the body of the thread I'd mentioned I teach English as a foreign language.

She just looked like a total arsehole tbh. I found it rather amusing.

Of course it is very bad form, and extremely nasty.

The only time it would be acceptable to do it if if you are doing it to someone who is abusive themselves. And then, they kind of deserve it.

"The capital of France is Paris"

"Great . Now in plain English please"

Exactly - there is a difference between education and intelligence. Boris Johnson is the prime example - people thought he was clever because he had been educated to spraff out Greek and Latin phrases. Many of our ruling elite are educated beyond their intelligence and we all suffer for it.

Did you pull your colleague up OP? I think bullying or just plain unkind behaviour needs calling out. Otherwise it would seem like condoning it to the unsupported more vulnerable person.

It depends. I can think of one arrogant, loud mouthed overbearing salesman who used to come out with endless ignorant rubbish.

I found the best way to shut him down was to smile sweetly and provide the accurate facts, which he clearly was unaware of. After a while he got tired of looking like a total twit and left me alone. 🙂

It's totally situation dependent.

If someone is being an arsehole, I don't see the problem in being an arsehole back.

If someone is just condescending just for the fun of it, they are an arsehole.

I would never do it as I think it is bad form. On the other hand, I refuse to dumb down my own language in front of others. After years of comments like " look who's swallowed a dictionary" and low level bullying, I refuse to suffer fools.

Yes it's horrible. Most of the people that do this are bitter and angry.

I have to admit that I've done this. Obviously I know it's better to refrain, and generally I've refrained.

But I can think of one bullying boss who I eventually responded to like this, when he started bullying my less senior colleague.

And I did it more times than I can count to an abusive ex. It made me feel some strength. I might be powerless to stop him abusing my body, but at least there's some way in which I can show I'm better than him.

I do realise that more intelligent does to equate to better, but desperate situations etc

This.

i have a relative like this. Is not bright, but spouts their opinions and thoughts as if they have all the answers.

even if they’re 100% wrong it isn’t worth challenging them as there’ll be a huge argument.

nothing to do with intelligence, all to do with the fact they’re just a bully.

Isn’t it called something? Effect or whatever?

where someone is not intelligent- so they think they know a lot but don’t realise there’s more they don’t know. So it’s really hard to convince them they’re wrong because they only hold the small amount of knowledge in a subject but think they know it all.

then the opposite with intelligent people who realise they don’t know everything, so back down more easily as they accept others may know more..

Agree with this. Having knowledge in a particular subject doesn't make you particularly intelligent or better than the next person

I have had that on here loads of times . Because I'm not educated. Probably to common as well.
have had people belittle me. Talk to me like im dumb I have been known as dim.

But also I have noticed (some) of these people (think) they know everything. When actually they don't know how some things work. Sometimes it's like people are very intelligent education wise. But lack life skills.

Sometimes I have seen people use words that make them seem like they know what they are talking about. But then they are actually talking shit.

I think generally it's bad form to humiliate people in conversations. As a response to bigotry or mansplaining though, I often wish I could come up with witty, Mae West style, put downs.

The t shirt with the binary joke made me laugh, but I might be disappointed if someone thought that was appropriate for a date.

Yeah it depends on situation. It's not cruel to put down an all knowing arse. Some people are.
Not ok to put down someone for no reason.

Yes, of course.

Without doubt it's abusive.

Duunning-Kruger effect. It is a form of cognitive bias. I see it in my son a lot, he has been cast as 'clever' in his Primary School.
When I was growing up I think I did a bit of what OP was asking about. I'd use my intellect to win arguments, knowing that if things got physical I would lose but so long as we kept things verbal, I could compensate for being the youngest and smallest by a mix of intellect and tenacity. I missed having that kind of argument for a long while, even once I knew it wasn't good manners or kind behaviour. Getting rid of the win / lose mentality took a fair few years.