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Original poster

Anyone's child autistic that can read please

37 replies

34weekmess · 19/03/2024 22:42

Ds is 9, diagnosed asd age 4, he's brilliant, intelligent, has an old soul, a very dry sense of humour and is kind and caring. But my god he does not stop talking about his interests (which I know normal with asd) but he seems to be getting worse and worse. He paces around the room while telling us another one of his game ideas (these games he never ends up making) he will have several different game ideas in the space of a couple of hours. He does not notice that we're not listening anymore, trying to get on doing stuff etc, I'm just worried because he seems so erratic while he's talking, the pacing turns into basically leaping around whilst going on and on without pausing for breath, he gets stressed out if you ask him to stop talking about it now and holds his head and say he has to get it out.
Any ideas how we can help him ?
Honestly it's like he needs medicating and I know that sounds harsh but he just cannot stop.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 19/03/2024 22:46

Why does he need to stop?
You say he doesnt care if you stop listening
So tune out
Presumably he copes at school then needs to let it out?

PalomaColumbine · 19/03/2024 22:46

If he feels he has to get it out of his head, would some kind of recording device help? He can talk into it to his heart’s content and it is saved in case he does ever want to revisit it and work on the game.

Vinvertebrate · 19/03/2024 22:47

I have no advice I’m afraid, but my autistic DS7 is exactly the same (plus LOUD!)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds 9 year olds SEN
34werkmess · 19/03/2024 22:51

I've asked him if he'd like to record it instead, he doesn't want to, he wants to tell someone.
He doesn't cope at school, currently isn't going due to ebsa and we're waiting on a specialist placement. So I've got this all day at the moment

saraclara · 19/03/2024 22:51

cestlavielife · 19/03/2024 22:46

Why does he need to stop?
You say he doesnt care if you stop listening
So tune out
Presumably he copes at school then needs to let it out?

You say that like it's easy. It's impossible to tune out of this kind of thing. And if there are siblings they simply won't to be able to tune out or focus on anything else. It's not a way to live.

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 22:51

And I do tune out but I also feel awful for doing that !

MoonlightMedicine · 19/03/2024 22:52

No advice. My 13 year old is exactly the same.

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 22:53

It's so hard when it's constant, he's just talking at us

LauderSyme · 19/03/2024 22:57

You have perfectly described my ds a few years ago 🤗

He still frequently talks at me at length about his interests, but is teenaged now so spends more time doing his own thing. I often hear him talking his ideas through to himself these days.

Sorry but am not sure how the question in your thread title relates to your post?

saraclara · 19/03/2024 22:59

@LauderSyme "anyone..... who can read (this OP) please?" I think.

PalomaColumbine · 19/03/2024 23:01

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 22:51

I've asked him if he'd like to record it instead, he doesn't want to, he wants to tell someone.
He doesn't cope at school, currently isn't going due to ebsa and we're waiting on a specialist placement. So I've got this all day at the moment

Ah that’s a shame. It must be very difficult. My son avoided talking to us wherever possible so complete opposite really.

Is he good at following rules? DS is very rigid with rules. Just wondering if a set time of day for it would work. Wouldn’t solve it but might give you a bit of a break in between times?

LauderSyme · 19/03/2024 23:02

Oh! sorry! I misunderstood. You mean us reading you. I thought you meant the autistic child reading books. Doh!

My ds was prescribed Concerta for ADHD but never took it as he was scared that it might change who he is.

Sorry I have no advice but solidarity with you because it can be exhausting. I do actually sometimes say to ds "I love you but please stop talking now".

Dostadning · 19/03/2024 23:03

I know he said he just wants to tell you but if you buy a really good notebook with say, a console on the front, and a swanky pen and pencil and tell him that all game designers (and authors*) put their ideas on paper in bullet point form with sketches...you never know, it might appeal.
*This is true: many have notebooks with them for turns of phrase/lightbulb moments and next to beds, in case they dream something.
Alternatively, ask him to record the idea (6 minutes!) and bring you the dictaphone and you can make notes for him or he plays it back himself.
This one is £20
Talking Products, Multi Memo Voice Recorder Dictaphone, 6 Minutes Recording Time. Ideal for Speaking and Listening Activities and Independent Living. : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Talking-Products-Dictaphone-Activities-Independent/dp/B00GHPPKM0/ref=asc_df_B00GHPPKM0?linkCode=df0&hvadid=79852089215444&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvtargid=pla-4583451664108057&psc=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum--chat-5032132-anyones-child-autistic-that-can-read-please

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 23:04

Sorry just realised my title don't make sense, I'm sleep deprived have a poorly toddler and newborn at home, plus an autistic ds who won't stop talking 😆

Yes he is an absolute stickler for the rules, I've got that many in place I bloody forget what I've said !! He doesn't though ! But that might be an idea, only certain times for talking about his current interest

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 23:05

Dostadning · 19/03/2024 23:03

I know he said he just wants to tell you but if you buy a really good notebook with say, a console on the front, and a swanky pen and pencil and tell him that all game designers (and authors*) put their ideas on paper in bullet point form with sketches...you never know, it might appeal.
*This is true: many have notebooks with them for turns of phrase/lightbulb moments and next to beds, in case they dream something.
Alternatively, ask him to record the idea (6 minutes!) and bring you the dictaphone and you can make notes for him or he plays it back himself.
This one is £20
Talking Products, Multi Memo Voice Recorder Dictaphone, 6 Minutes Recording Time. Ideal for Speaking and Listening Activities and Independent Living. : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

Thank you this is a great idea

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 23:06

I do think he has adhd too, he literally cannot stop moving the only time he can stay still for a while is when he's on the ipad (his most special interest)

Dostadning · 19/03/2024 23:06

What they say they want can be different once they use the gadget/have a book to fixate on.
Game Design Ideas Journal For Noobs: A Videogame Development Logbook: With Game Design Documents and Square Graph Papers : Storhugg, Sorchi, Engqvist, Carl-Erik: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Dandelionsordaffodils · 19/03/2024 23:06

Could he have ADHD as well? He sounds a bit like my AuDHD son. He's 18 and honestly he has got better as he's got older. ADHD meds seem to help too, although he still talks a lot when they wear off.

SconeJam · 19/03/2024 23:08

My boy’s very similar, but I’ve learned to meet him in his world, rather than trying to get him to fit in to a NT world that doesn’t work for him. I ask him questions about his game ideas, we draw maps for his imaginary worlds, write out the rules for his new games.
Changing my mindset helped. I feel honoured and privileged to be welcomed into the place where he is most comfortable. If your son is anything like mine, this enthusiasm, boundless energy, inspiration, creativity and passion is beautiful. I support it and journey alongside him.

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 23:12

SconeJam · 19/03/2024 23:08

My boy’s very similar, but I’ve learned to meet him in his world, rather than trying to get him to fit in to a NT world that doesn’t work for him. I ask him questions about his game ideas, we draw maps for his imaginary worlds, write out the rules for his new games.
Changing my mindset helped. I feel honoured and privileged to be welcomed into the place where he is most comfortable. If your son is anything like mine, this enthusiasm, boundless energy, inspiration, creativity and passion is beautiful. I support it and journey alongside him.

This is lovely, and honestly I do think he will go places if he really focuses this energy into gaming/developing but he can't stay on one task for more than 10 mins. His concentration levels just aren't there, this is the main reason why he struggles at school

Dostadning · 19/03/2024 23:12

Finally, if the other two ideas don't work (and I still think they might be worth a punt but you need to sell it to him. e.g. Leonardo da Vinci kept his notes in code. Thomas Edison also kept notes) then I'd use a common-or-garden egg timer visual or kitchen timer and say he has to "pitch" you the game as concisely as possible - Dragon's Den/Apprentice style in a set time.
Good luck! Shamrock

falalalatte · 19/03/2024 23:17

This sounds very much like my DS 12 who is diagnosed with ASD and ADHD.

He has a few methods which helps him get recurring thoughts out if his head -

Writing his thoughts down on a whiteboard or in his notebook.

He has a worry monster which he puts all of his thoughts into and zips up the mouth.

Or he'll ask me to take it out if his head, we just pretend that we are removing it with our hands and throw them out the window/wash them away down the sink.

My DS gets to the point where he doesn't want to think/talk about it anymore and is looking for ways to make it stop.

I also give him a set amount of time to talk to me and then we do one of the above once the time is up.

It's great to embrace and encourage ideas but there does come a point where it's time to zone into the NT world and do regular things too.

LauderSyme · 19/03/2024 23:19

34werkmess · 19/03/2024 23:04

Sorry just realised my title don't make sense, I'm sleep deprived have a poorly toddler and newborn at home, plus an autistic ds who won't stop talking 😆

Yes he is an absolute stickler for the rules, I've got that many in place I bloody forget what I've said !! He doesn't though ! But that might be an idea, only certain times for talking about his current interest

Wow I take my hat off to you! Mine is an only child but you have two little ones too. It never ceases to amaze me how deep mothers dig within themselves for the sake of their children.

My ds got interested in the idea of streaming himself talking. I wouldn't have allowed him to put himself out there in public but I was quite vague with him regarding that crucial detail.

So for a while he practiced 'producing online content' and some of his urge to volubly deliver the thoughts in his head was temporarily diverted elsewhere.

Mindovermatter247 · 19/03/2024 23:24

This is DS16, although he’s calmed down a lot, when he was younger it was non stop talking. Whenever his hobbies or interests came up. It was great seeing him so passionate but god did it bore me to tears. The only one of his interests I loved to hear about was titanic. If he doesn’t notice you’re not listening, don’t listen. Chances are they won’t ask you questions about it because they already know the answer. I always made it look like I was listening.

Dostadning · 19/03/2024 23:40

Notebooks & Diaries - Tesco Groceries
There's a couple on there I like but I have a stationery fetish.
I let my son choose his own.
I also - and none of you come for me please! - sometimes tell my son to put a sock in it and stop monologuing. He says the same to me too.
I think it's perfectly fine to say that, as in real life they do have to learn turn-taking. They do need resilience (much as though I hate the word). They do need to not monopolise a captive audience. They need to listen and consider others.
So tell him that. Not "change all of you!" Grin but to slow down and focus on:
Listening. Pausing for breath. Choosing their words.
GCSE Speaking and Listening (English) they have to do a presentation within a time limit.