"Fit old bird"

[Platedshoes]

How would you respond?

I've posted my running result this morning. I promise I'm not a complete running bore, but this was a long race and a 20 minute personal best, so I was pretty chuffed.

There are lots of lovely comments and one man who said "excellent running, you're a fit old bird". If context is needed, I'm 53, he's 40ish and married.

Now, clearly he thinks he's being funny and/or nice, but I feel I need to say "something".

I know him fairly well IRL, through running. He's nice enough, but I'd say not terribly bright and I doubt he really gets why this might not be funny.

Plenty of women who would post that comment on another woman’s page.

I really don’t see the issue.

Er...Peahen....

Urgh, can't stand the 'no sense of humour' thing. People saying unfunny things and then pretending they're 'humorous banter' etc are the ones who need to work on their sense of humour.

I'm 63 and afaik 'bird' has always been a sexist term. It's the stuff of Carry On films, women being leered at or slighted by blokes.

I would be upset too. I would say
"Thanks for the compliment I think."
Well done for you PB.

Why call a woman anything other than human?

Peahen doesn't have the same energy. I prefer my version.

@alwaysmovingforwards

say what?

exiecting people not to be bloody rude is fair enough?!

Shall we apply the same logic for men then. Nobody is allowed to say

Mate
Dude
Fella
Chap etc etc

Dont be silly

Well none of those are animals and none of them are used to belittle or sexualise men.

Plus, you know, the whole history of the patriarcy means there is no direct comparison anyway.

We randomly had a peahen frequenting our garden recently - she actually had a rather lovely calm 'energy' with none of the infernal noise and posturing.

But yeah, even with birds the male is the aspirational sex...

(I might just possibly be overanalysing ....blame a conjunction of liking for birdwatching, pedantry and feminism)

Those don't follow the same logic, @Herbiebanannas - don't be silly.

I'm glad to hear that peahens are holding their own!

Ahh, you godda love peri/menopause OP. Makes you over analyse everything and be offended at the slightest little thing. Even a bloody compliment.

I'd say "wow, misogynistic and Agist in one fell swoop. Welcome to the 1950s!" And if I wanted to pass it off as banter I'd put a laughing emoji at the end. Point made in a light hearted way.

I would reply,

”I think you mean ‘excellent running’? No old or bird required”

I think that 'old bird' has a slightly different origin to to use of 'bird' to refer to women in a sexist and trivialising way. I'm sure I've read it a lot in novels in which it is a kind of upper class, 'hunting and shooting' colloquialism that can be used equally of men and of women.
I definitely wouldn't assume that man's comment to be an example of the sexist, insulting use of bird. It literally makes me think of a wiry stubborn old pheasant or whatever, not a male-fantasy version of some sort of mimsy femininity.
I wouldn't say anything to him at all.

I'd let it go. But this is good if you really can't....

I would say "Thanks but less of the old bird Bob" 😉 or whatever his name - winking emoji to soften it

I'd say "thanks young whippersnapper". I'd find being called an old bird even in jest a bit derogatory.

OP: How would you respond?

MN: By assuming good intent and with tolerance of different communication styles.

OP: You are all terrible people.

Don't post pictures online if you want to control the narrative and reaction.

It’s meant in the same way that if positions were reversed you could have written “fit old sod”. It’s a good humoured compliment.

Being called a bird doesn't bother me. I call other women birds.
At a Christmas party a couple of years ago, a younger male colleague told me ' you scrub up well for an old boiler'.
I couldn't be offended or emotional by his comment.

This is the problem women have been taught to say nothing and keep their head down. If you say something you are the difficult one.

I don't know what to advise, I'd want to tell him I don't appreciate his comment, it's outdated and sexist. But as I say I suspect you will be seen as the arse not him.

Can you delete it and if he asks you why you have you could text him directly and explain why.

Your comment would annoy me more than his.

A women doesn't like a sexist comment. She's told be a good girl and be quiet. And now she's being told it's probably her hormones.

Wow is Mumsnet stuck in the 80's?

Re my earlier comment about the non-sexist use of 'old bird', I've just had a google and P.G. Wodehouse seems frequently to have his male characters describe other male characters as "old bird" in an affectionate sense.

Eg, Bertie describes Clarence, 9th Earl of Emsworth as "a mild, dreamy, absent-minded sort of old bird", and a character called Roderick Glossop an as ""extraordinarily formidable old bird."

This is clearly the type of usage that the OP's fellow runner had in mind. It probably didn't occur to him that she would be unfamiliar with it.
Please don't get all offended about a very friendly comment, OP.