5yo kicked in the genitals at school, what response would you expect?

[BlueShed]

Just found out that DS, age 5.5 in Year 1 was kicked in the genitals by a class mate the other day. No doubt about the truth of it, I heard from another parent whose child was also kicked, as were two others who have all told their parents the same thing. Checked with DS this morning (without putting words in his mouth) and he's told me the same thing. The children then found the HT who had a word with the boy.

The child in question has previously pushed my son over which I largely ignored as DS was fine. I've subsequently found out he is repeatedly kicking and hitting various other children, some of whose parents have already raised the matter with school due to the number of times their children have been hit or kicked.

School thus far don't seem to be doing anything obvious to manage the situation. Clearly I wouldn't expect them to break confidentiality, but I feel this should not keep happening.

I have no experience of this and I don't know what's reasonable to expect:
Should I have been told my son had been kicked by another pupil?
I will raise it with the teacher, if nothing else I feel they need to be aware of the number of incidents. Is there anything I can ask back of them which is reasonable? Surely this is not acceptable behaviour?

I don't want to get to the point where my son is physically injured or ends up hating school, for example.

Ask the school for their safeguarding / anti bullying policy, ask if it is being applied and how they are going to keep your son safe.

Thanks - I've just had a look at the policies online and it looks like it's more of a behaviour issue than safeguarding issue? Is that right? The actions for behaviour are all about having a meeting with the parents, which has already happened.

If your DC has been attacked more than once and you are aware other DC are regularly attacked too, clearly the school are not effectively safeguarding DC. I'd ask for an appointment with the class teacher after school one day and tell the teacher you are concerned that safeguarding your DC is not happening because he's been pushed over and now kicked in his genitals. How will they ensure your ds won't be attacked again? If they don't come up with a plan to effectively safeguard your ds speak to the governors and follow up all complaints in writing not mentioning this other child who is aggressive because they will just say they can't discuss other DC with you or say he has some kind of behavioural issue. That is not your concern safeguarding your DC, and the rest of his classmates, is.

🙄

They're five!

So your son was pushed over once, and was uninjured, and kicked once which the boy was spoken to about?

I think that's about what you would expect. They're still very little. You can't really go in and demand that they talk to you about this other child's general behaviour, you can only focus on your own son, and I don't think it sounds like they're negligent or anything.

Call school and say you're concerned about what your child has said. Forget about other parents or children. Just stick to facts and say if there is a violent incident in school you'd expect to be informed. It can often turn out a group are playing a stupid game or something and all are involved. Bearing in mind an actual kick is extremely painful and it would be very unlikely (wrong) this was withheld from you. I'd always expect HT to be on top of this, unless it was in the classroom the teacher wouldn't have seen it.

The Head has spoken to the child who did the kicking.

That's what I'd expect to happen. I wouldn't expect to be told, no.

I would, however, ask the class teacher privately what was being done to minimise violence in the playground. Are the children being adequately supervised.

I'd also remove myself from the "heard from one mum, then another, then another" situation. Nothing pleasant ever comes from mums' gossip. Keep your interaction between you, about your child, and the school.

And good luck- too often on here the parents of kids who do the hitting and kicking excuse it as boys will be boys and playground play fighting. It isn't. It's violence beginning at an early age and needs stopping immediately.

And entitled to safeguarding.

Speak to the school, say the violent behaviour towards your child from x seems to be increasing and what measures are they putting in place to prevent it escalating further.

If it's in the playground then I'd like to think there is going to be better supervision of X put in place.

Thank you, it's helpful to get different perspectives.

I think what I will ask is that this is recorded. The first time wasn't as DS didn't tell anyone. One concern I have is that if they are aware of, and noting, the frequency and volume of occurrences, they obviously don't have the complete picture.

I agree about not mentioning anyone else and I can see why what I said sounded gossipy. It wasn't like that. It's a mum I am friends with asked if "DS was ok after xx kicked him". Her son had told her about the four of them being kicked and she double checked it with the others, simply because at 5/6 years old, detail and accuracy aren't always spot on.

And yes, it was in the playground, so I feel that if children and regularly being kicked and hit then the supervision isn't adequate, but asking because I may be wrong in that.

From what?

Being kicked by a five year old!

Safeguarding is for actual serious issues, genuine risk or harm, abuse, suicide, not a five year old kicking someone.

🙄

Jesus, wait until you find out about Cowboys and Indians, or football, or tag.

It's a five year old kicking another five year old, not a teenager rampaging with a machete for a gang initiation.

Yes I would speak to the school. Usual daft replies on here saying do nothing, no thanks, I wouldn't want my 5 year old being kicked, and that's not something either of mine would have done to another child, so yes this kid should be monitored more closely

No it isn't.

Safeguarding rule 1. "Is the child safe at this moment".

If the school cannot give an unqualified "yes" to that question, they are failing the child.
If a child is being kicked in the playground, the answer to the question is not "yes". It's at best "we hope so".

Nobody has said it is.
What those of us who work in schools and/or are involved in safeguarding training have said, is that no child should go out to play in the playground and be kicked.

If the same child is regularly being violent then absolutely the school should be putting steps in place to safeguard the other children.
In parallel they should be trying to work with the child / parents to minimise / eliminate future violence whatever the underlying reason.

School will do absolutely nothing to prevent your son being attacked. Mention it to other parents so nobody feels confused and isolated, because believe me other parents will be scratching their heads about what’s going on. Dont send your kid back there unless you want a preteen with severe anxiety and other mental health issues.

Don't be daft. A child using the toilet by themselves cannot be proven to be "safe at this moment".

Or do you want to ban kids from playing together, because you know, little Kyle with his plastic dinosaur might just hit someone over the head with it.

🙄

Talk to the school and ask them what they are doing to safe guard your child
Obviously they can't discuss other children with you or how they are managing the other child's behaviour but they do.have a duty of care to safe guard your child and all the other children.

It's literally the very first thing that safeguarding trainers point out to people on beginners' courses.

So many people who have received no safeguarding training have extreme ideas of what is, and isn't, safeguarding.

Regarding the toilet.

Is the child safe at this moment?

If the child is in there on their own, then yes.

If there's a big scary paEdO in there, then probably not.

In the playground:

Is the child safe at this moment?

If he's playing with his friends and there's an adult on hand keeping a watchful eye, yes.

If he's playing with his friend and the child mentioned in the OP is kicking him and there's no adult supervising, then no.

"Is the child safe now" is literally the bedrock of safeguarding.

Oh please 🙄

Actually in my experience that's exactly what happens. An adult will ask politely and repeatedly ask for the behaviour to stop and when they carry on, the school will victim blame "what did you do to make little Johnny angry" and insist it's 50/50 as they don't have any incidences of bullying in school.

There's an amazing lack of discipline/ consequences in our local primary.

Ask what the school is doing to ensure this doesn't happen again.

We had the same issue in our class in year1 and the child in question who was going around decking everyone was eventually kept in at lunchtimes so that they didn't injure the rest of the class's

You have a responsibility to your child. To ask how they are being safeguarded

Oh I'm sure @Elephantswillnever but advice to pull your 5 year old out of school based on one incident by another five year old who has been in school for only two full terms at this point, and still needs to learn all of the rules about good behaviour, is a bit over the top.