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5yo kicked in the genitals at school, what response would you expect?

32 replies

BlueShed · 16/03/2024 09:11

Just found out that DS, age 5.5 in Year 1 was kicked in the genitals by a class mate the other day. No doubt about the truth of it, I heard from another parent whose child was also kicked, as were two others who have all told their parents the same thing. Checked with DS this morning (without putting words in his mouth) and he's told me the same thing. The children then found the HT who had a word with the boy.

The child in question has previously pushed my son over which I largely ignored as DS was fine. I've subsequently found out he is repeatedly kicking and hitting various other children, some of whose parents have already raised the matter with school due to the number of times their children have been hit or kicked.

School thus far don't seem to be doing anything obvious to manage the situation. Clearly I wouldn't expect them to break confidentiality, but I feel this should not keep happening.

I have no experience of this and I don't know what's reasonable to expect:
Should I have been told my son had been kicked by another pupil?
I will raise it with the teacher, if nothing else I feel they need to be aware of the number of incidents. Is there anything I can ask back of them which is reasonable? Surely this is not acceptable behaviour?

I don't want to get to the point where my son is physically injured or ends up hating school, for example.

OP posts:
BlueShed · 16/03/2024 20:21

Thanks for the further replies. The first time I did let it go, but as it's a repeated thing, I'm now alert to it, and wondering how many times before I say something. It's very helpful to hear all perspectives.

@OneBigShenanigan I don't think it changes the gist of your post, but for info, they are year one. DS is young for the year but many are now well over six years old and they've all been at school for 1.5 years.

OP posts:
BlueShed · 16/03/2024 20:23

To those in agreement that it is cause for concern, do you think I should have been told? Again, not looking for unreasonable expectations and I know staff are busy, but genuinely curious because I have no benchmark beyond nursery which is an entirely different entity and I do struggle with the lack of comms from school by comparison in general.

OP posts:
OneBigShenanigan · 16/03/2024 20:34

BlueShed · 16/03/2024 20:21

Thanks for the further replies. The first time I did let it go, but as it's a repeated thing, I'm now alert to it, and wondering how many times before I say something. It's very helpful to hear all perspectives.

@OneBigShenanigan I don't think it changes the gist of your post, but for info, they are year one. DS is young for the year but many are now well over six years old and they've all been at school for 1.5 years.

A repeated thing is stretching it though - he was pushed over once and uninjured, and has been kicked once.

A lot happens in the primary years...I get that it feels very different from nursery in that you don't get a book home saying they slept and ate and played with the cars etc.

For context, my son had real trouble with a kid in his class when they were 8/9 and when this boy put his hands round my son's throat I insisted they be moved into separate classes. So I do have experience!

Which is why I think one kick is...y'know, one kick. I'm not sure what you wanted to be informed of - he got kicked but he's fine? It's not really huge news.

Hereyoume · 16/03/2024 20:51

ASighMadeOfStone · 16/03/2024 16:53

It's literally the very first thing that safeguarding trainers point out to people on beginners' courses.

So many people who have received no safeguarding training have extreme ideas of what is, and isn't, safeguarding.

Regarding the toilet.

Is the child safe at this moment?

If the child is in there on their own, then yes.

If there's a big scary paEdO in there, then probably not.

In the playground:

Is the child safe at this moment?

If he's playing with his friends and there's an adult on hand keeping a watchful eye, yes.

If he's playing with his friend and the child mentioned in the OP is kicking him and there's no adult supervising, then no.

"Is the child safe now" is literally the bedrock of safeguarding.

The kick happens, then the adults notice it. They literally cannot stop it from happening.

Soontobe60 · 16/03/2024 21:00

When our KS1 children are playing out, they love playing Transformers, or Sonic or Hulk. They pretend to do flying kicks - most of the time they fall over rather than make contact. Of course we roll them not to play games that might mean someone gets hurt. But how many parents actually stop their kids viewing these characters, or stop them playing computer games involving them?
I think if your Ds was actually kicked in his genitals he would certainly have told you as he would have been in lots of pain.

DragonCatcher · 16/03/2024 21:00

Hereyoume · 16/03/2024 14:29

From what?

Being kicked by a five year old!

Safeguarding is for actual serious issues, genuine risk or harm, abuse, suicide, not a five year old kicking someone.

🙄

Neglect and child on child abuse spring to mind. Read Keeping Children Safe in Education and you'll see that safeguarding is just as relevant as behaviour policies in this based on the OPs information.

I'm not saying jump to a formal complaint that they aren't safeguarding your DC but if there appears to be a pattern of this child being physically abusive towards others then it would be neglectful of the school to not risk assess the situation and make adjustments to safeguard the others on the receiving end.

Strictly1 · 16/03/2024 21:17

They nearly all do play fighting. You tell them to stop but with the best will in the world it still happens.

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