Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Both parents of Ethan Crumbley found guilty of involuntary manslaughter

41 replies

ChanelNo19EDT · 15/03/2024 07:30

Wow. Anybody else followed both trials?
Is this the first time parents have been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter following their teenager's actions?
I dont think either parent had a strong connection with their son but as a parent, currently, I might be in a similar boat. It's a scary thought. The school didn't check his backpack and that would have been easier than a parent damaging any existing fragile connection by asking " do you have a gun in your bag?"
Schools can union up quicker than parents. Are they fallguys? In a country that allows its citizens to buy guns and keep them at home?? Is America not guilty of involuntary manslaughter?
Not America bashing at all, but I am anti gun. But also shocked by this verdict x 2
Allowing citizens to buy guns is the real issue. Imo.
Wdyt?

OP posts:
Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/03/2024 07:32

Wasn't it more that they knew he had issues but didn't try to seek help for him? Refused to take him home when he had threatened to shoot up the school, and knew he access to a gun having bought one for him 5 days before and then didn't secure it properly?

Sirzy · 15/03/2024 07:51

The parents purchased the gun, they refused to help him access mental health support when he asked. They ignored schools concerns.

they failed their son and as a result contributed massively to the tragic outcome. It’s right they are held to account.

Beezknees · 15/03/2024 08:31

They bought him the gun and refused to get him any help for his mental health.

It's about time crap parents were held accountable. If they genuinely had been trying to get him help and had no idea that this would happen then they wouldn't be on trial. But they actively encouraged it.

Cockapoopoopoo · 15/03/2024 08:52

So the school should have checked his backpack but his parents shouldn't in case it damages their relationship? That is a truly bonkers argument. They failed him and the victims massively, glad they are being held to account

BloodyAdultDC · 15/03/2024 09:08

They bought the gun.

Schools should be educating children. Not routinely checking bags.

They are completely responsible for him having a gun, had refused to support him in accessing MH help.

Why do you think they SHOULDN'T be held responsible op?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 15/03/2024 09:13

They wouldn't take him home when he was talking about shooting up the school, because they had work. (One was going to meet an affair partner from memory) He even said his parents didn't care, and his mum just "lol'd, I'm not cross" about him searching for ammo online at school.

IvorTheEngineDriver · 15/03/2024 10:05

Totally reasonable verdict IMO. They provided the gun and took zero steps to get him any help.

RoseAndRose · 15/03/2024 10:09

I think it is the buying of the gun that made them active collaborators

CanaryCanary · 15/03/2024 10:09

They bought a gun for him and let him access it whenever he wanted, even though he was asking for help with mental health problems.

They did not tell the school that he had access to a gun.

If the school had known he had a gun, the school would have acted differently.

Of course they are to blame.

TesticularHeft · 15/03/2024 10:10

What do you mean you're in the same boat? Do you need help?

WorkingFromHomeShite · 15/03/2024 10:13

They hired lawyers for themselves but not their son. They’re shit parents from whatever angle you want to view them from.

Treeper22 · 15/03/2024 10:19

Beezknees · 15/03/2024 08:31

They bought him the gun and refused to get him any help for his mental health.

It's about time crap parents were held accountable. If they genuinely had been trying to get him help and had no idea that this would happen then they wouldn't be on trial. But they actively encouraged it.

This! But mumsnet is a weird place. Half the time it's people complaining about crap parents and their feral offspring, how children's behaviour is getting worse and the other half is relentlessly defending parents because "you've only seen a snapshot/the mum was probably stressed/why don't you offer them a cup of tea or do their washing for them"

It's clear from the information these two weren't fit to have children. They didn't only neglect their child's mental health, they actively encouraged his interest in guns.

There was a thread about this not long ago when the mother was sentenced.

LittleLegsKeepGoing · 15/03/2024 10:20

You're only in the same boat if you have a child with mental health issues, who has clearly stated they want to harm people in their school, you've bought them a weapon that enables your child to harm people and refused to seek help to support your child...even though they've specifically asked for it

If you're in the same boat then I have as much sympathy for you as I do those shocking parents who were rightly found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. I also think that the America culture of gun worship holds some responsibility. Hopefully these convictions will start to erode that basic belief that anyone should be allowed a gun.

However, if you're in a position where you have a child that is really struggling, you're doing your best and seeking support in all possible places then you have my utmost sympathy and I hope something will click into place and you both get the support you need. Parents who try everything are not the problem. This pair are the exact opposite of good, supportive parents.

sashh · 15/03/2024 11:05

IvorTheEngineDriver · 15/03/2024 10:05

Totally reasonable verdict IMO. They provided the gun and took zero steps to get him any help.

Worse than that they played with him when he was hearing voices / seeing things.

heldinadream · 15/03/2024 11:06

How might you be in a similar boat @ChanelNo19EDT ? Is that what you'd really like to talk about?
Hope you're OK.

Beezknees · 15/03/2024 13:20

Treeper22 · 15/03/2024 10:19

This! But mumsnet is a weird place. Half the time it's people complaining about crap parents and their feral offspring, how children's behaviour is getting worse and the other half is relentlessly defending parents because "you've only seen a snapshot/the mum was probably stressed/why don't you offer them a cup of tea or do their washing for them"

It's clear from the information these two weren't fit to have children. They didn't only neglect their child's mental health, they actively encouraged his interest in guns.

There was a thread about this not long ago when the mother was sentenced.

Show quote history

Agree.

I was a teenage parent, and as such I have had to be much stricter with my DS than a lot of middle class affluent couples here on MN. Partly because if I hadn't I'd have been far more likely to be reported to social services due to my economic status. Partly because my DS has always been at a higher risk of getting involved in gangs/crime due to growing up poor and having no male role model around.

This is why I have very little tolerance for soft parenting and some of the stuff I see on here. The only way things will change is if parents who can't be arsed to parent start facing consequences.

Curioushorse · 15/03/2024 17:09

I've always wondered this. Just on the basis that they must have allowed their child access to a dangerous weapon, aren't the parents of all these shootings always responsible to some extent?

I recognise that's probably showing my ignorance of the system- but loads of teenagers go a little loopy at times. I can't think of many children in my large secondary school who I think giving a gun to would be a good idea. To be honest, I think some of our students would be pretty dangerous.

Surely there are rules about keeping the guns locked away from children?

FloofyBird · 15/03/2024 18:01

Good! That poor child. His life is ruined (as are his peers and their families who were injured/died) because his parents ignored him having MH issues when he asked for help. Then to buy him a gun as well. Wtf!

ButterBastardBeans · 15/03/2024 18:12

100% the right verdict.

Original poster
ChanelNo19EDT · 15/03/2024 18:50

I hope this dissuades people from being guns.

I dont know if I feel the parents did everything they could, but who ever thinks their child will do this.

Here hoping gun sales drop. I wonder if any families saw this verdict and thought "let's get the gun out of the house"

OP posts:
EsmaCannonball · 15/03/2024 18:50

I'll say what I said on the thread when just his mother was convicted. I think the verdict is correct. I feel no sympathy for the parents and think they deserve to go to jail. However, so many minors in America commit serious crimes and so many of their parents are culpable in their crimes. It will be interesting to see whether this sets a precedent or whether the law only feels comfortable going after rather unsympathetic Trump-supporting types.

Original poster
ChanelNo19EDT · 15/03/2024 18:53

Yes @EsmaCannonball if Mom had not been having an affair and if she'd been a stay at home mom, I wonder if they would have been viewed as culpable.

OP posts:
Applesandpears23 · 15/03/2024 18:55

They bought him the gun not long before the shooting. He drew the shooting and they had a meeting with the school about it. They were asked to take him home and refused. They went home and he went back to class and started shooting.

Original poster
ChanelNo19EDT · 15/03/2024 18:58

They had to go back to work.

I'm not saying they parented perfectly but it seems crazy that they should have been expected to forsee this.

OP posts: