Found school bully on FB

[Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain]

Not an AIBU...

But, I was sometimes bullied in my secondary school (girls school) and left after someone (who actually didn't bully me) set fire to my hair and I then left immediately after that and went to another school for 3 years. The actual bullying funnily enough was more girls falling out, not relentless every day stuff, we soon made up. But it was known as a rough school and other girls were regularly attacked, even with boys from other schools, the teacher and the headteacher did nothing or very little.

So this is all in the past, a school friend of mine from there, we still chat as she's on FB and she said 'have you seen X schools FB page?'. I'd viewed it once before but wasn't that interested. Then she said 'Susan X is on there, the one that set fire to your hair.' I had no idea she was on there, she seems to be doing ok from when I took a brief look and she looks moreorless the same as she did when we were at school. But my reason for adding this post is I'm almost tempted to send her a message and say 'do you know you were the reason I ended up leaving that school?' I get the feeling she'd deny this. So what would you do? Message her or just leave it.

I was so tempted to do that! Especially as she’s one of those women on the main school page who when she does post things she posts a lot.

On a different topic, we used to have dance classes there (it was the 80s, Fame was on tv, we all had legwarmers) and we all loved our dance teacher. I think she left the year I did and became a police woman. Maybe that was easier than teaching girls. There was also talk about one of our teachers, poor man, who was nervous but the pupils used to reduce him to tears. I really hope he’s ok now, maybe he was medically retired. The headteacher bless him did try but was quite ineffectual. It was an eye opener to go to a private school where bullying etc wasn’t tolerated at all (though it did happen) and you were expected to behave properly and learn.

Thanks! I definitely feel that having written about this now, I’m over it. I mean when I walked out of the school I think that was a turning point, I wasn’t prepared to put up with nasty behaviour. The teacher back then was all “oh S what have you done…” I don’t think anything happened rather than talking to her but if you did that as an adult you’d be disciplined in a job. I hope she grew up and didn’t bully people in her workplace. Bullying shouldn’t be tolerated in any shape or form anywhere.

Yeah you'd just get arrested and she isn't worth the hassle. Believe me I understand, I was bullied relentlessly at school and I'd gut the little bastards like trout if I thought I'd get away with it but they just aren't worth my time.

My bully cropped up on FB last year - she was tagged in an old photo that had been put up by an old school friend of mine.

She made my life a misery.

I also felt very tempted to send her a message. But after receiving MN advice I didn't.

I think she bullied me because she was so ugly - and I mean REALLY ugly - and I wasn't.

Seeing her recent photos on FB, she is still FUGLY as hell, which gave me some small satisfaction.

See that's the thing. This woman, well she wasn't exactly ugly but... I mean I suppose I was your usual average pretty girl - some called me very pretty but I really didn't see it and I wasn't 'obviously pretty'. I was confident at times and shy at others. Which is why she did what she did. But it wasn't bullying per se as it was a one off incident. I still don't know, in our previous year was she jealous or something of me? She always seemed to be someone on the edges of friendship groups and would be quite maverick with her humour. Maybe she is ND (I don't honestly care if she is or not) which would explain a lot.

@Balloonhearts - gut her like trout - that made me laugh out loud which is honestly so true.

I think if I ever saw her IRL (which like I said before could happen), I'd just do the MN tinkly little laugh, ensure I'm looking on point and maybe if we had the chance to speak say 'oh it's Gonna, do you remember me at X school?' - if she says yes then just take it from there and if by some chance she apologises then accept it. I don't think she would admit to it though. But then after that I'd leave a big pause to show that I know what she's like. I still don't think I'd like to be treated by her as a nurse (think we are luckily in different areas for that!) though.

I’ve heard that nurses are often terrible bullies!!!!

Leave it. Chances are she's still an asshole and either won't remember or won't care, and it may end up making you feel worse. Hopefully karma kicks that nasty cow in the arse

You will not get the response you want so no I would leave it