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Original poster

House regret

43 replies

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 16:14

Has anyone here had house regret that never went away?
we bought this house because it was much bigger and had potential to be a nice family home. We were desperate to get out of our previous house for various reasons so I didn’t care as much as I should have. I loved this house before moving in but since I just don’t like it here. It needs so much work the previous family lied about. It has years and years of dirt and grime everywhere, nicotine stains, dog accident stains, the full works. I assumed they’d had cleaned it professionally. I can’t get on top of any of it with children, I haven’t got anyone to help me and I feel so overwhelmed all I have done is cry. I miss my old house and wish we could go back.
now to make matters worse, I had an incident with the neighbour directly opposite, but I didn’t know they were a neighbour until I saw her today pull up in the car.
i was driving home from work last night, the roads were clear but suddenly there was a car behind me sitting on my bumper with a very angry woman driving. I shook my head and slowed down hoping she’d overtake but she stayed on my bumper, I felt the cars touch. When we got to traffic lights she got out of the car and began shouting at me, calling me names and threatening to hit me and drive my car off the road leaving me for dead. In shock I didn’t react and ignored her. She didn’t stop shouting at me until the lights changed then she got back in her car and drove away. It left me shaken up. I couldn’t get the reg number as she was so close the whole time but today I see the car and her and like shit luck she lives opposite me. They are known as a rough family who cause trouble and start fights so admittedly I’m scared. I have small children. She is bound to see me soon and recognise me. I don’t know if she will continue and try to make our lives hell. This has made the whole situation much worse as I feel trapped here and now scared to go outside incase I bump into this neighbour. If I report her I’m worried about what she’ll do.
Can anyone share positive stories?

OP posts:

FunnyFinch · 13/03/2024 16:16

how long ago did you move in?

NineofPopes · 13/03/2024 16:22

Report her to the police for dangerous driving and threatening behaviour. If she threatens you again, ask her if she wants a police caution.

Can you hire professional cleaners to give your house a deep clean? Ours was absolutely revolting when we moved in. A builder friend recommended a company that usually does crime scenes.

Original poster

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 16:30

It was at the weekend we moved in so we’ve barely scratched the surface. I know houses take time to settle into but for me it’s either home or it isn’t.
I did want to have a professional team of cleaners in on moving day but unfortunately the previous family were still moving out as we were moving in (removal van was for specific hours and couldn’t wait) so we didn’t get a chance, and with boxes everywhere they wouldn’t be able to get to every place at the moment.
If I report this woman wouldn’t it make things worse? I’m sure she’d be out for revenge in this case and I worry about things like slashed tyres and bricks thrown through windows. We have cctv and a burglar alarm but with people like this they don’t care about the law. I don’t want to make enemies, this was supposed to be our forever home and within days everything is going wrong.

OP posts:

FunnyFinch · 13/03/2024 16:33

you moved 4 days ago????

OP come on. Just crack on with unpacking and cleaning. It’s a pain but will be worth it

NineofPopes · 13/03/2024 16:37

FunnyFinch · 13/03/2024 16:33

you moved 4 days ago????

OP come on. Just crack on with unpacking and cleaning. It’s a pain but will be worth it

Yes. I get that it’s grim moving into a filthy house — I honestly couldn’t cook or eat in ours for three weeks or more. But it’s in your power to rectify, whether you hire someone in or gradually do it yourself room by room.

New house regret is miserable, but a normal, temporary stage. The first thing that happened when we moved in here was that part of he sitting room ceiling fell down.

MarvellousMinnie · 13/03/2024 16:39

I understand how you feel. I hated my new house from the moment we moved in. Like you, we needed to move and this was the best of a bad bunch available at the time.
We've done three years and we're moving again. I never got used to it. There's nothing wrong on the surface, just doesn't feel like home.
The incident with the woman has shaken you up though and is adding to your unease. Try to separate both issues and take them each on their own merits.
I would just ignore her and carry on with my life. She obviously didn't realise you were her new neighbour either.

Original poster

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 16:41

Oh I am getting on with it but there’s so much to do and with the kids to care for it’s taking longer than I’d like. I just look around at the place and regret wasting so much money. I left my last house immaculate, I sent the new family a card and flowers (which they didn’t thank me for), all I wanted was a good home for my kids but even this one doesn’t fit the bill. I’m sick of never feeling settled.

OP posts:

MarvellousMinnie · 13/03/2024 16:41

Sorry, I realised you wanted positive stories and mine isn't. I imagine regret is pretty normal so time is your best friend.

MrWilyFoxIsBack · 13/03/2024 16:42

Hang on… your new neighbour threatened to kill you? Did I read that correctly???

If this family are “known troublemakers” was it disclosed by the Seller of the house to you? You might be able to sue them. Report to the police and ask if the previous residents or neighbours had reported any issues from that address.

ChoccieEgg49 · 13/03/2024 16:50

Personally I'd forget the incident with the woman. Just get on with your life, if you see her just put your head down and ignore her. If she continues to harass you, obviously you need to involve police, but I'd use this as a last resort if things get worse.
Give it time with the house. Rome wasn't built in a day. Maybe tackle one room at a time, you'll get there.

Echobelly · 13/03/2024 16:55

It is very, very early days regarding the state of the house but I'm sorry you're feeling so down and had a horrible experience with the woman over the road.

Maybe see about small things first - our house was very old-fashioned and dark when we moved in and I had an irrational hatred of this dingy mustard lightshade in our bedroom and just replacing it with a cheap but nice modern one made me feel so much better!

Try to forget about the incident, the other woman probably will as well and try to accept the fact you may see her sometimes and that if she's horrid, it's not personal, it's just her. It must be awful to be such a miserable person as that, so she's probably her own punishment.

Andthereyougo · 13/03/2024 17:04

Angry woman probably won’t remember you. Likely she’s like that most of the time so ignore her and crack on with the house. If possible get it cleaned in two halves , leave some rooms as empty as possible, get them cleaned then move stuff in. Then do the same for the other half of the house.

Original poster

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 17:10

Thank you everyone, I’m trying to find the willpower to crack on with the cleaning and unpacking.
I don’t know why the incident affected me so much, I normally encounter all sorts of idiots on the road but this one being so close has made me nervous. She must have seen us moving in yet didn’t recognise me or my car (rare colour), unless she did and it was on purpose?

OP posts:

Dontforgetthesalamander · 13/03/2024 17:22

Can you afford to get a cheap dashcam in case you encounter her again? Then at least there will be evidence if she tries anything again on the road.

My house was a right state when i moved in - was not expecting it to be anywhere near as bad as it was, it took weeks to make it habitable i seriously doubted we made the right choice but we've been here 10 years and i can't see me ever leaving! It takes time to make a house into a home - you'll get there.

Original poster

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 18:20

I have a dash cam at the front but my back window is tinted and they’ve never recorded clearly annoyingly.
it’s nice to read that others have found happiness in their homes after experiencing this feeling. I would like for it to feel like home but at the moment I just can’t see it. Either way I’m stuck here as I cannot afford to sell and rebuy elsewhere any time soon.

OP posts:

Freakinfraser · 13/03/2024 18:24

Oh op. It’s four days, cmon now, just get on with it.

Justsomethoughts · 13/03/2024 18:35

Poor you OP. I’d lay low wrt your neighbour as you’d need to declare any disputes during selling process as a PP said.

Can you bundle the family out for a day, move all remaining boxes to one or two rooms so the majority of the house feels less full and then get some professional cleaners in to deep clean the rest of the house?

Greebosmum · 13/03/2024 18:37

I think it's the road rage incident that has unsettled you. If it's any comfort the day my girl moved into her house one of the neighbours knocked on the door shouting and screaming that she had blocked them in. After I calmed her down a bit I asked which was her car, because we weren't blocking anyone. I pointed out that the car blocking her was nothing to do with us and she stormed off. There were a couple of minor things she kicked off about after that.

7 years on she is nice as pie, brings round clothes and toys for the baby etc. I will never ever forgive her, but my daughter has to live near her so we all try to keep the peace as she obviously is trying to be neighbourly.

Im sure your neighbour won't recognise you. Just keep a low profile and be polite if you have to speak to her.

In a couple of years you will love your house.

tenpoundpombear · 13/03/2024 19:02

Oh op you've had a pretty crap few days, no wonder you're feeling like this!

Can you hire a deep clean? We moved into a house that had been rented out for years and was really grubby and just not looked after, it's also a different style of house to the ones I usually live in and love and it really took me some getting used to. I still wistfully think of my last 2 houses, but we did a lot of decorating and although we've still a way to go, I love my house now and the location is worth the trade off for the high ceilings and large rooms that I miss.

WRT the neighbour, who told you they're known for this sort of behaviour? Weirdly if they do it to everyone it would make me feel less personally targeted, if that makes sense?

NineofPopes · 13/03/2024 19:04

Historyofsnow · 13/03/2024 18:20

Everyone hates their house four days in, even without the grime and road rage neighbour. It will get better, OP.

Original poster

Historyofsnow · 14/03/2024 08:15

Thank you everyone I got the kitchen cupboards filled last night so it feels better having surface space in there finally. Then I found a big hole in a cupboard wall covered over by a piece of paper, yes really! So I had a glass of wine and de stressed.
Couldn't stop myself window twitching though as I’m worried about bumping into the neighbour. I’d like to think she’d forget and move on but based on many things I expect this to be a war she will continue.

OP posts:

NineofPopes · 14/03/2024 08:20

Historyofsnow · 14/03/2024 08:15

She should be the one who’s worried, surely, OP? She drove dangerously and aggressively, got out of her car and threatened you, and you have her reg and address. In fact, unless she is monumentally stupid as well as aggressive, she should be keeping her head down and hoping you didn’t recognise her.

Pootles34 · 14/03/2024 08:23

I'm not sure she will remember. For normal people something like that would be massive, but she's not normal clearly! I wouldn't be surprised if she's already forgotten it... If she really hated you, she'd have made herself known by now.

Slippersareindeedsexy · 14/03/2024 08:27

I was the same with my house on the first day. It took me until literally last night to get OH to agree to move. That's been about 15 years of living somewhere you hate. I would not recommend it. You have my sympathy.

Freakinfraser · 14/03/2024 09:39

Historyofsnow · 14/03/2024 08:15

What things? Unless there are further interaction stories and you know her, that seems unlikely, it would appear maybe you’re over thinking? For her it is likely an oh shit that’s awkward and not think any more about it. I’m not sure I’d consider it a war at this stage either, it was one episode of road rage, not a prolonged harrassment.

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