Currently hiding in the bathroom crying ...

[fishfishandmorefish]

It's mother's day. I'm a mum. DH and teen DC at home. I got nothing just a card (am I being ungrateful?). I mostly spent the day alone, except for seeing my parents. Cooked dinner for DC. Currently have uniform washing.
Brought my mum chocs, flowers & afternoon tea (she went with my dad, my dad needed the treat more than I did). Think my mum was a bit taken back when she asked what I got and I said nothing. Not even any fuss or "time off" from the usual grind. DH watched football at home all afternoon, he took over the whole living room and firmly Closed the door for it. IMO He's now drunk (says he's not but he's had 10 cans of beer).
Back to the grid tomorrow. Me 46hr week. DH 36hrs. I do 10hrs a week overtime for extra cash.

My period is due, maybe that's why I'm emotional tonight. Just needed to get it off my chest
Thanks for reading x

“I do so much for all of them. All of the house/ life admin and cleaning/sorting and all the admin for my sons appts as he has a lot of medical needs”

But why do you martyr yourself like this? If you don’t model self respect this is what happens. Your DH sounds like an absolute prick but you reap what you sow. I’m sorry to sound harsh but I’m afraid if you act like a doormat, don’t be surprised when people wipe their feet on you.

I’m so sorry, that is so shit. I’ve been in a similar position before but with a toddler and 8 week old. It still upsets me now.

If I were you, I’d not ‘mother’ for a day, to help them appreciate what you do.

No wake ups, no lunches, no cooking cleaning etc etc. Are you able to book a day off on the sly and talk yourself off for a nice spring walk x

Teens can and and do stuff for Mother's Day. My ds did, and I know my friends teens did stuff as well.
It's important that they know how to show appreciation for not only their mother on Mother's Day (or any other day if you're not into Mother's Day) but for others on special days.
This has to be 'trained' into them.
Talk to your dh about how you'd like his help to get the kids to make a bit more of an effort next year and tell them what you want. Can they make a cup of tea, brunch or dinner? Bake a cake? Buy you flowers or chocolate?
If your dh is useless, then talk to your dcs. Remind them how much they like effort and gifts and youre the same as other human being and like it too.
You need to train the empathy and action into them.
Do they volunteer? Give anything to the foodbank? There are many ways to help your dcs to start looking outwards and think of others.

This. I don't think it's your impending period that's making you cry in the bathroom.

I had a sad Mother’s Day too. Really upset and angry even. Zero effort from adult son as per usual (that’s the upsetting part, not just a one off day).

(Still at least I haven’t got a useless, angry drunk of a partner. 10 cans? How horrible )

I have Four adult dc. No cards, no calls. Saw one briefly and got a bottle of wine.

Ds went out with his Dad (my ex).

I had a nap and a walk.

Your dh has shown you how little regard or respect he has for you - sounds like your dcs are flowing his lead too.

For comparison I received two bunches of flowers (one from dh, one from dcs) chocolates, handmade cards from the dcs and was taken out for a nice lunch.
dh and dc’s all thanked me for what I do for them and before bed all asked if I’d had a nice day.

I get this treatment partly because dh and I have raised caring, thoughtful dcs but also because we expect a certain level of care and acknowledgment from one another as a family on special occasions. Dh knows if I didn’t receive something on Mother’s Day or other special occasions I would be upset, and as he loves me he doesn’t want me to be upset. He also knows there’s no way I’d be cooking dinner/doing chores on Mother’s Day. Nor would I tolerate the football/drinking binge (nor would I on any other day tbh)

Youre in an abusive relationship op - and you’re so ground down and used to it that you think it’s normal. It isn’t.
Pull yourself up higher - stop running around after others who don’t give a shit about you. You’re basically telling them you don’t matter.

Your dh is an alcoholic, selfish prick and I imagine your life would improve immeasurably if you kicked him out. Couldn’t be arsed buying you a small gift but had his beer money didn’t he? Wanker!

I’m sorry @fishfishandmorefish , what an arse he is, 10 cans in an afternoon is a huge amount. Perhaps you should give him the argument he knows you’ll avoid ( win win for him ) and tell him what a lazy selfish wanker he is. Then tell him to pack.
Women do anything to avoid a row, ensuring the men always get their way.
Row, tell them how awful they are.

Ah, that is rubbish. What do they usually do? Do you set any expectations?

For me the thing I have always wanted more than anything else is a 'day off'. A lie in for as long as I like and no cooking or housework done by me. Anything else is a bonus.

My 2 (11 and 16) got me a nice card although it said 'mother' on it rather than 'mummy' or 'mum' which I wasn't keen on!! They also gave me a personalised hoodie (I had said I would like it.) I had a nice lie-in then swimming and brunch at the gym before going for tea and cake at my mum's house.

You have to communicate what you want. Don't cook say you'd like a takeaway organised for example.

Your DH sounds like an alcoholic idiot, tbh.

I promise you that whilst splitting up is hard (or rather having the courage to say the words), moving on for a life without the kind of partner who drinks all afternoon then gets shitty with YOU is the best thing ever!