If you chose not to give your children "screentime" at all before age 5, can I ask why, and how it is going?

[SwordToFlamethrower]

I'm genuinely curious about this. Kids seem to be glued to their screens and many don't seem to be aware of their surroundings, sat in prams or restaurants or family gatherings.

If you've chosen not to do screens with your kids, how are they doing in terms of socialisation, imaginative, spontaneous play and mental health.

Thank you!

I didn’t, I took books and colouring sheets and crayons, no TV in bedroom, no mobile until year 7.

She survived just fine!

My 11 year olds don't have screen time much. I've basically trained them away from screens. They were 7- 8 during the pandemic. I took 90 books out of the library the day before the first lockdown and they read a lot as a result.

They are now avid independent readers, and their go-to is their kindle, not a screen

They are both v active, so do tonnes of sport. I've always pushed them outside before and after school rather than allow screens.

They notice other children on screens and comment. They think its sad when kids are glued to a screen rather than playing or having fun. This was v obvious on holiday recently. One boy in particular was on an ipad by the pool all the time and we couldn't make sense of it.

They use my laptop for homework They have a Nintendo Switch which is used at weekends and if its raining. And we watch TV! But they do not have their own devices.

Sorry I should have also said both kids used to love lego and craft. At aged 5 my son was always in his room playing with trains and cars. My daughter is more the pens and paper type. Loves colouring and making cards for friends and family. That sort of thing.

Define screens?

DD does not ever have access to phones or tablets or consoles. She does watch some TV though (monitored). She’s 4.5.

We go out to eat etc and she eats nicely and behaves properly, making conversation etc. She plays just like a normal, imaginative child. We take a few small toys/colouring/stickers if going somewhere a bit boring for her but otherwise we set expectations for behaviour. In the car we listen to stories/songs or we talk. No screens.

It may depend on your circles but there’s no screens as the norm amongst our friends.

I accept that we will need to introduce some
computer use once she starts school. Then gaming will follow. But we will still keep it minimal for as long as we can. They are little for such a short time.

My son is only two but we are two years into no screens at all - no TV, no phone, no iPad or anything.

We don't know any different but I would say my child's attention span for books is much better than some of his peers, his spoken language is probably a bit worse, and his imaginative and independent play capacity is great (but no real discernible difference from others).

So far, if anything I think he might have missed out on some of the benefit of Miss Rachel from a development standpoint. We are going to stick it out as long as we can because I was addicted to my phone, and I want him to have the benefit of a less screen-centric life for as long as I am in charge.

I absolutely promise you that your son has not missed out on the 'developmental benefit' of a YouTube personality!

Unless you've got a policy of not speaking to him/singing with him yourself, I suppose.

@NuffSaidSam I hope so! But I do have niggling doubts when i hear about the developmental benefits of these shows.

Still I think we'll hold firm. We don't miss it because we have never had it. Our son is a really happy kid as he is so best not to mess with a good thing.

90 books!! That's amazing. All at once? How did you manage that?

There are no developmental benefits of YouTube videos for a toddler.

I did no screens at all (no tv) until age 2. He still doesn’t have an iPad or get to see a phone or anything and is now 3. Some days he gets to watch a bit of tv before bed, usually the things I used to like watching that I’ve found on YouTube!

I don’t plan to ever give in on the iPad thing, not sure if I will eventually have no choice but il cross that bridge when I come to it. We went on holiday recently and every other child there seemed to be sat glued to an iPad (no judgement, enjoy your meal) but my son had different things to play with at each meal, he had a lorry that he loved playing with for most of the holiday, play dough, sticker books etc. He also just sat watching the world go by or watched other kids too.

The only negative I’d have to say is it could be complete coincidence but he didn’t talk all that much before he was 2 (when he also started watching tv). He could say lots of words but wasn’t saying phrases together. I did start to get a bit worried and posted on here about it at the time. He very very quickly after turning 2 just started talking and spoke non stop for the whole year 😂 So I don’t know if it was just an age thing or what

The "developmental benefits of miss Rachel" is marketing guff, just like baby Einstein was about 20 years ago and Sesame Street before that. It's bollocks, none of this stuff is uniquely educational, just because they can pick stuff up from it, it's not better than human interaction.

I'm not anti screen time btw, my kids have plenty of screen time. Probably a bit too much tbh. But they aren't glued to screens all the time when out. And I don't see it as educational, not at these ages.

Yes, 2 is a normal age for a language explosion. Tends to be somewhere between 2 and 2.5.

Depends what they are watching. There are some great tv shows for kids. My 4yo learned about multiplication, division, prime numbers and more from number blocks... also knows all
Kinds of animal facts from octonauts. We have some great iPad games as well.

So refreshing to see other people doing this too. How did you stop being so addicted to your phone?

Interesting you also mention the speech thing too when I found the same. I’d imagine they develop at the right rate and actually tv probably sort of artificially speeds up the rate at which they learn words etc as they are getting bombarded with so much all at once (hence the fact it’s obviously interesting to watch). I slightly wish we’d never let my son see any TV but I do just leave it switched off a lot of the time or say I’m putting my programmes on. I don’t mind him getting the same sort of tv that I watched as a child which wasn’t a lot as you just had to watch what was on but it’s the fact everything is now so instant with YouTube and I particularly hate that he’s already worked out you can skip the adverts. It’s just this generation’s lack of boredom I fear and being bored is SUCH an important skill growing up

For the oldest I did no tv until 2, and now lower primary - nursery age and still only limited tv, no other screens. If we go out for dinner etc we might bring a card game, or just talk! My dc have amazing imaginations and can spend hours playing in their own worlds. Interestingly had both early and late talkers so not sure if tv/ no tv made any difference for them. They also love books and we read a lot!

TBF I do think number blocks is absolutely brilliant. You must have a very bright 4yo to have understood all of that though.

Our five year old watches TV in school for education (alphablocks and number blocks) and breaks (cbeebies). They use iPads in class a lot and have a weekly homework activity to be completed on a phone or tablet. The school have also recommended numeracy and literacy apps for use at home.

Trying to avoid screen time in totality isn't possible and I suspect would end up like those kids who are banned from sugar and then go insane at the first in unsupervised birthday party buffet.

Ours are 5 and 3, they get no TV during the week, plenty (probably too much) at the weekend. Until this year they'd only used tablets on a plane trip last summer but now the 5yo has those apps which she does a couple of times a week. We're happy with our approach but every family will find their own way.

DD is 8 and doesn’t have a tablet or any other device. She watches TV, so does have screens. When we go out to eat she chats to us, plays game and draws. She’s really into puzzles and word games. In the car she listens to music and reads.

I don’t feel like she’s missing out.

DD id 4y3m and had no access to tablets or phones, except to take photos and do video calls with family.

She has very limited TV, maybe 3 hours a week maximum.

She had 2-3 weeks of "unlimited" TV in January because of illness etc, she became so engrossed in it she would get angry at having it turned off, generally moody and argumentative, and even started refusing to do things like go to playground/puddles/swimming because she just wanted to watch TV. She became addicted basically.

So, I have cut it right back, to.uo to 20 minutes in morning before nurse and 1 film allowed at weekends in morning only.

We had our lovely, happy,.funny imaginative daughter back within 2 days. No anger at turning off TV etc.

She won't be having access to tablets for as long as possible.

Our children are different ages. Our oldest two children are at an age where the question was not relevant.

We have actively used a screen with the youngest child with Ipad and smartphone from very early.
Later she had her own laptop. I remember it as 7 yo.
We don't set a max but look at the content.

Our children are multilingual and the internet is a fantastic work tool for education in our family.
We sat with her for the first 6 years. She was (or is) never babysat with a tablet.

She has online classes 1:1 in languages weekly which is incredibly rewarding for comminication in two of her languages. She communicates with her older siblings and family over Zoom. Nana often tells or reads a goodnight story Friday night. We also use an app for audio books at nighttime. We don't have a tv.

She rarely chooses a screen if she is bored and never bothers about it. We never bring it to restaurants. No need.
She chooses books (has a lot in three languages), music (plays an instrument), games, dancing, crafts and outdoor life. She is always busy but screentime isn't her prority.

Mine is only 2.75 years old, so no access to tablets or phones (except occasional family video calls) and we have no intention of doing so for a number of years!

However we do allow a bit of TV time per day, and if we find it's getting detrimental we change how long she can watch or what she is watching. For example we stopped letting her watch Peppa Pig as she genuinely seemed to be more addicted to this and would whinge when turning it off. But stuff like toddler club on iplayer has been quite educational.

Recently she's been enjoying classic Disney or pixar films eg Jungle Book, Toy Story (she doesn't watch them all in one go, more like 20-25 min increments) and tbh it's really helped develop her imagination. The Julia Donaldson adaptations on iplayer are fantastic too. She talks about the films with us (and her toys and dolls 😂) and she still absolutely loves books and stories so I'm not too worried, I think whatever we've allowed has been quite beneficial to developing her vocab, understanding of storylines, etc.

We've also educated her that too much TV is not good for her, so often she'll watch one thing and then say 'no more TV' of her own accord. In fact she's even started telling us off if one of us checks our phone at the dinner table! I'm a big believer of everything in moderation and educating my kid(s)about the reasons behind this rather than having to fight a constant losing battle.

I have a 7yo and a 6yo. They watch some television - not free choice, very limited but I won’t get into a fight over one more episode of pets factor if they are enjoying it. Some days no tv at all, others maybe up to an hour. Behaviour changes with more tv, I’m absolutely certain of it for my DD. They had none until 3 (2 for younger dd)

no iPads, tablets, no use of our phone ever, no digital games- trying to find them a digital camera for kids that wasn’t rammed with games was a feat!
we just don’t do the homework that requires screen time. Both girls are bright and capable- and not doing this homework has not been detrimental at all to date.

we do mega long drives (south of France from north of England last summer) all the time and I’ll pack books crayons games whatever they want but yes, they get bored. Then.. they are bored. They cope. We have some great silly chats in the car

restaurants I find tricky when sometimes my DDs are more present and therefore a bit louder or more animated- when others choose to park their kids in front of a propped up iPad while they eat then they are going to be quieter - and some people appreciate quiet kids in public. They always sit to the table well, but obviously having a conversation with them is noisier than them being plugged into headphones.

we have a lot of kids books, a good number in front facing easy accessible book shelves. More than we need. I bought a huge second hand job lot when DD1 was a baby and that set us up. They spend a lot of time reading or looking through books. They also play, craft, play in the garden, bicker.. do handstands etc. excellent imaginative play which I find painful but they play with one another.

im happy with our choices to date. It’s going to get harder but I feel we are committed. Zero chance of access to you tube or anything like that- it just doesn’t feature in our lives.

I think it’s all about moderation. I’m not against screen time, my eldest daughter got her tablet when she was 6. My youngest watches it with her sometimes, he is 3.

But we do have rules, no screens outside of the house, at the dinner table etc. They have blocks of time when they watch their shows. When screen time is over, if they do not turn off, they risk losing their next block.

I do believe that electronics, like iPad’s etc are privileges, they are not necessary for healthy development. Actually, kids do far better when they have periods of boredom, this is when they get creative and use their imagination. This is where they build a tolerance for the mundane. Being in a state of homeostasis really improves mental health! Especially as we are in a time period where almost everything is quick, easy and accessible to many.

Obviously, technology is a big part of supporting school curriculum now and I want my kids to feel confident with technology, just not utterly consumed by it.

DCs have had very little screen time before age 5. The screen time they've had is a few TV progs where we've taken them to a linked experience, eg Peppa Pig World or theatre show of Bluey etc. Because it wouldn't have made sense if they have never seen the characters before, but they don't watch the programmes on a regular basis. And sometimes I'll show them specific YouTube videos when chatting about animals or some other thing that's easier to demonstrate with a video.

They are happy, very verbal and developmentally slightly advanced. We do lots of classes and physical activity outside the house, so we're often not at home most of the day so we don't miss having it as a distraction. I'm never tempted to give them my phone when we're out as it's 5 years old and they'd drain the battery. We tend to take lots of small toys and a handful of books out on every trip - which weighs more than a phone would, so that's a pain (literally, in a backpack).

My eldest is nearly 6 now and part of her homework needs to be done on an app, and lots more will have to be done that way in future. So it will be unavoidable but I think it makes a huge difference to not be using screens for under 5s - not so much because the screens are damaging in themselves but because it reduces the amount of interaction physical activity and engagement they could be enjoying.

We do very little screen time, not none. They watch tv at the grandparents, and now that the eldest is 8 they watch tv most weekends for perhaps an hour or so. Never weekdays unless someone is unwell. iPad time is almost zero- we don’t take it to restaurants, we pack books and colouring for long car trips, again it’s an hour on the weekend; on largely educational apps. We allow iPads for plane trips (there used to be a few long hail flights) I have recently got a maths app I like.

I think they love toys and drawing and play a LOT and our house gets very messy! They are 8,5 and 2 and play kitchens, cafe, drawing, stuffed animals, toy animals jungle games, building, reading, puzzles, Lego and lots of outside time.