Daughter solo traveller. Money is extorted by police

[Upsetmother12]

Since she was seventeen, my daughter has insisted on travelling alone. She has been to Chile, Argentina, virtually every European country. Now she is in a Mexican sea side resort and last night was on the beach with two other tourists. The beach was empty ( crowded during the day) and at night, the bustling sea side town becomes empty … now I know why. 3 heavily armed police came onto the beach in a van. They planted perfectly rolled spiffs in the sand in plain sight. They then went up to my daughter and companions. They accused them of being in possession of drugs, threatened to handcuff and take them to the station. They clearly had guns in their bulky uniforms pockets. My daughter cried. They rifled through all the three’s bags and took a total equivalent of £500. They then let them go. My daughter was shaken and phoned me at 5 am last night. I hate her solo travelling. Every time she has the opportunity, she takes off and goes on these solo holidays. Anyone else have a solo travelling adult child, or is a solo traveller? Is this untypical? Probably typos in this but on my phone and in a hurry. Would appreciate feedback. Thank God she is flying back in four days!

So all the other cities are going to be perfect are they? A country with the 6 highest cities murder rate in the world isn't going to be as safe as a country without that accolade! Regardless of where the city is.

Never said they were perfect but your scaremongering is unnecessary.

have you ever been to any part of Mexico?

How is she going to get a police report in a country where the police just robbed her?

Unfortunately as a foreign traveller you attract attention. I live near a very touristy place in England. Foreign students in particular are frequently targeted - usually just theft. But it does underline the need to blend in if you can and take precautions.

I think the real mistake here was going to a deserted beach at night while drunk on wine with two men she had just met.

You’d think all this solo travel would have given her more common sense by now. Scams happen unfortunately and your daughter needs to mature and be aware.

Sadly I don’t think this sort of thing is at all unusual in certain countries.

My dd was in her 20s when she and a friend weren’t allowed to cross some SE Asian border until they’d paid bribes to the official. They refused initially, so he kept them waiting for several hours until they paid up.

In some countries IMO it’s a vicious circle - people are purposely very poorly paid because it’s a given that they’ll take bribes, so they’re more or less obliged to demand them.

An Indian chap I worked with in the Middle East told me how he’d needed to send some money in a hurry to his wife in India - but had to include extra as a bribe for the clerk who would be handing it over. I was naive enough at the time to be shocked. He explained that the clerk would know from the method of transfer that it was needed urgently, so demanding his ‘cut’ was more or less a matter of course.

I would recommend that she moves on from the area she is in until she comes home. They might come back for more.
I backpacked a lot 20 years ago and this was a well known scam.
She is taking too many risks and should know better if she's experienced. This was a cheap lesson.

Exactly this. It’s a fairly routine thing to happen, imo, but it would never have occurred to me to phone my mother when I got into tricky circumstances.

Poor girl, what a horrible thing to happen.

And a shock for you, it’s horrible when we think of our young people in danger.

But… she was with two other travellers, it could have happened whoever she was with, she’s been all over the world apparently safely until now…and she is OK.

Sympathise but try not to victim blame or undermine her confidence and the skills she has learned with her travelling. This isn’t a reason for her to clip her wings.

No and chances are I won't be going. I'm sure some parts are beautiful etc etc.. it doesn't change the obvious risk. And I'm not scaremongering, scaremongering is usually to do with hearsay and opinion those were facts that I stated. I feel sorry for the OP hence why I reassured her later that her daughter is coming home very soon! It doesn't hurt to make more informed choices in future.

I've skim read this so apologies if I have missed anything.

Sounds like DD is no longer 17 and is an adult. I'd ask her not to tell you these stories in future unless there is a need for you to intervene and actually do something at that point. It's not helping anyone and is just making you stressed. It's great she is an independent traveler but that means taking responsibility for her own actions and not crying to mummy when it goes wrong.

You are scaremongering in a way, as you are posting some data from cities so far away from accepted tourist areas that are dangerous without the knowledge that it’s a country the size of Western Europe. It’s like saying north wales is dangerous because the murder rate in Bulgaria is high (google Mexico overlaid on Europe if you need to)

of course it has huge huge issues which no one is denying. But it’s also an incredible country and the majority of people are welcoming and helpful.

The OP’s daughter could easily have been robbed in any deserted beach location in the world because she made a stupid decision and fell for a worldwide scam that’s been happening for decades. A good lesson for her.

Im not surprised you’ve never been and definitely don’t recommend you go with your mindset. But millions of people go there every year with no issues and have an incredible time.

My sister is living and working in Mexico at the moment. She says that the cartels have a massive influence on life there, and the police are corrupt, but the same as most places, if you keep your wits about you and don't put yourself in dangerous situations, then it's a beautiful and lovely place. Where she is staying, the police tend to go around with other armed forces because the police are known to be corrupt so I guess the other force is to make them behave?

Whereabouts in Mexico was your daughter staying OP?

My friend and I went travelling at sixteen, we had passports, got jobs to save up to pay for it etc.
Honestly never entered my head to ask permission.

Slightly scary now my daughter nears the same age!

Mexico is notorious for corrupt police. If your daughter is a seasoned traveller, I'm surprised that she put herself at risk by going to the beach at night in this area. We live and learn! I'm just thankful she's ok and nothing worse happened to her although it's obviously not nice to have her money taken from her. Hope she is home safe soon! 💐

Something similar happened to my husband years ago when he was travelling with a mate. Robbed by police in Colombia ? I think?

I think the idea of safety in numbers is a good plan though.

A friend of mine lived in Mexico and would often be stopped driving by the police and they would just take whatever money he had then send him on his way.

She should be doing research about the areas she is travelling to, oh the arrogance/confidence/foolhardiness of youth!!

She really is very very foolish for carrying so much cash and for going to the beach, in the dark, with two strange men. THAT I would be absolutely furious with.

Eek!! I'm going to Mexico tomorrow

There were 66 million international visitors to Mexico in 2022 - unless you are planning on a tour of cartel land, you’ll be fine!

have a great time :)

Was this near Tulum at all @Upsetmother12

I know - why does she?

Hopping Pavlova, you are quite right. She thinks she is savvy. I think she endangers herself. It terrifies me.

I am ... there are so many stories like that of your friend and my daughter :(

I have travelled extensively alone and with DH. This happened to me in Melbourne, New Zealand, in 2002. Then again in Fiji. It is a very common scam. I leg it if I see the police now. She will get over it and the travelling is worth the risk imo.

I'm surprised about New Zealand!