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Daughter solo traveller. Money is extorted by police

77 replies

Upsetmother12 · 07/03/2024 16:42

Since she was seventeen, my daughter has insisted on travelling alone. She has been to Chile, Argentina, virtually every European country. Now she is in a Mexican sea side resort and last night was on the beach with two other tourists. The beach was empty ( crowded during the day) and at night, the bustling sea side town becomes empty … now I know why. 3 heavily armed police came onto the beach in a van. They planted perfectly rolled spiffs in the sand in plain sight. They then went up to my daughter and companions. They accused them of being in possession of drugs, threatened to handcuff and take them to the station. They clearly had guns in their bulky uniforms pockets. My daughter cried. They rifled through all the three’s bags and took a total equivalent of £500. They then let them go. My daughter was shaken and phoned me at 5 am last night. I hate her solo travelling. Every time she has the opportunity, she takes off and goes on these solo holidays. Anyone else have a solo travelling adult child, or is a solo traveller? Is this untypical? Probably typos in this but on my phone and in a hurry. Would appreciate feedback. Thank God she is flying back in four days!

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 07/03/2024 19:05

OP I was advised to avoid beaches at night unless in a big group. That was years ago so it must be worse now. I thought Mexico was known as a dangerous place.

but if your DD goes off with strangers alone anywhere, that’s ….well, why does she do that?

@Hagbard I’m assuming this was a country where buying pot is legal?

Roussette · 07/03/2024 19:09

Aydel · 07/03/2024 18:48

@Roussette lol at Moldova being the most dangerous country in Europe.

Not sure why that is funny?
According to some charts and research it is one of the most dangerous countries in Europe. Obviously excluding Ukraine and Russia. But as Moldova has landlocked Russian run Transnistria within it's borders as an unrecognised state, it's up there

Pollyannamex · 07/03/2024 19:16

I don’t think there is anything wrong with solo travelling - I spent months alone in Mexico and found almost all of the people helpful and kind. It’s not dangerous if you keep your wits about you.

however, only an idiot goes to a deserted beach alone at night with two men they have just met. She is lucky nothing worse happened to her.

Chitterchatterchoo · 07/03/2024 19:19

I used to solo travel a lot from 18. I loved it and am hoping to do it again once my kids leave home ( single parent!).

I have to admit that now I’m a parent I do look back and am a bit 😳 at some of the things I did, although overall I was generally fairly sensible, and like others say you usually get good tips on wherever you are from fellow travellers ( and the internet now). Did often get extra ‘taxes’ and various borders though.

Hope she gets over this OK and continues to enjoy travelling ( but maybe doesn’t go to deserted beaches anymore …)

BoulderOpal · 07/03/2024 19:22

eyeslikebutterflies · 07/03/2024 17:33

I travelled when I was your daughter's age and into my 20s. Yes, it happens. Tbh it's a good life lesson, you learn the world isn't always fair, and you spend more time doing your research so that you don't end up in situations like this. Or, that when you do, you understand how to get out of them.

My most memorable was being at the Vietnam border with a group waiting to cross. Border officers wanted 10 dollars off us all - a lot back then - which I handed over pretty fast. They had guns, we were in the middle of nowhere, we needed to get out of there. But an American tourist was outraged and argued it was wrong and unfair. I took them to one side and whispered 'agent orange' in their ear - at which point they coughed up the ten dollar 'tax' and we were all allowed across the border.

I'd hate my kids to do the things I did but my god it changed my world view, helped me grow up and I saw things and met people I'll never forget. I'm glad she's OK and am sending a hand-hold.

Very similar happened when a group of us had to cross border from one South Asian country into another and then back into first country, in order to get a new 90 day visa.

As soon as we were in Cambodia we were all told we had to pay for a certificate that we were free from Bird Flu.
All duly paid apart from American man who protested and said it was fake and extortion.

They marched him off to a corrugated hut for a ‘medical’, didn’t see him after that, hope he was ok.

Also, very common when we were travelling to have to pay ‘police tax’, basically equivalent of £5 whenever it was demanded.

Hope your daughter is ok, would echo pp that said beaches are absolute no go areas at night.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 07/03/2024 19:55

Don't worry OP, she is coming back really soon, just make sure she makes informed choices in future!

Pollyannamex · 07/03/2024 20:07

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 07/03/2024 19:35

But you know Mexico is a huge country, eight times larger than the UK, and these are not cities where tourists go anywhere near?

VenusClapTrap · 07/03/2024 20:09

Similar happened to me in South Africa a long time ago. Driving along, stopped by police. Pretty frightening. I did a lot of solo travelling in my youth, and looking back I was very lucky that I got away very mildly.

The world is a dangerous place, it always was. We live in a bubble in the UK. Young people who have grown up here can be very naive.

Travelling teaches you a great deal, and is very humbling. The most important lesson is that it is very easy to get into very bad trouble! Most people get away with a few ‘hairy experiences’ and good tales to tell, but some, sadly, do not. I have friends who work in consular services and they have some truly heartbreaking stories.

Hopefully your dd will take fewer risks now. Encourage her to always read the travel advice on the FCDO website for every country she visits.

My dc are still young and frankly it terrifies me that they might want to go backpacking like I did! My poor mother…

TheYearOfSmallThings · 07/03/2024 20:11

Would it have made any difference if she had been travelling with a big burly male friend? I don't think it would in this case.

mintbiscuit · 07/03/2024 20:13

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/03/2024 16:46

I wouldn’t have let my 17 year old daughter travel alone whether she insisted on it or not.

Genuinely interested in how you stop a 17 year old with valid passport and funding from going overseas?

Vitriolinsanity · 07/03/2024 20:23

I've been ripped off in India, Bulgaria and Cyprus all be the police or customs officials. Age 38, 40 and 44. Hardly a naive traveller.

When a cop has a gun you cough up.

HoHoHoliday · 07/03/2024 21:06

Sometimes bad things happen in life. Mexico can be a dangerous place. And it's not the only country in the world to have corruption from people in positions of power. It must have been scary, but she handled it, and she was able to come to you for support afterwards.
Important to keep in mind that solo travel is not the reason this incident happened to her. You say she had companions with her and it still happened. Had she been completely alone it would still have happened. Had she been travelling with a boyfriend, or a collection of friends, or with you, it would still have happened.
In life, women are far more likely to be attacked or killed by someone they know. You're always going to worry about her, that's part of being a great mum. But let her experience the world in her own way.
Context: I've travelled solo around the whole world. I've been in danger at times, I've had the best experiences of my life at times, it's made me who I am.

PlumbersWifey · 07/03/2024 22:40

mintbiscuit · 07/03/2024 20:13

Genuinely interested in how you stop a 17 year old with valid passport and funding from going overseas?

I have one that age and I'd just say no. Maybe boys listen more than teen girls though.

Precipice · 07/03/2024 22:44

How would travelling with a friend have helped her in this situation?

Hagbard · 08/03/2024 02:29

EmmaEmerald I’m assuming this was a country where buying pot is legal? - No it wasn't legal, which is why they targeted me.

Lonely Planet used to publish travel guide books, I would get my info from there, pre-internet. DD would be able to keep herself safer if she was more informed about the countries she's visiting.

OhcantthInkofaname · 08/03/2024 02:44

Once she is home file a complaint with the MX embassy but urge her to not to travel to MX again.

HoppingPavlova · 08/03/2024 02:45

However, she has several wines then does stupid things like go on an empty beach with two 'nice Italian men' to look at the sea and chat

Bloody lucky she got out of this as well as she did. Could have been a LOT worse with the two Italian men. Does she have some impairment, as this seems to totally lack any common sense?

There are simple rules whether travelling alone or in pairs (unless in a large group essentially). Don’t drink. Don’t go to secluded/deserted places, not just at night, but yes beaches at night are a particular no-go, unless there is an active festival on the beach and it is crowded including g all entry/exit points. Don’t go off with men, including ones you have met on the trip as they are still essentially strangers, let alone anyone you have just met! In many countries, police/officials are corrupt so be prepared to pay $$. Watch out for human trafficking schemes including on many cruise ship routes, so circle back to don’t get drunk, stay in places/situations with plenty of other people who are not all part of the same group etc. plenty, plenty more ‘rules’ but again, it’s all common sense stuff for solo travellers and I’d be pretty worried about your daughter as she seems a bit clueless to be frank.

Garlicking · 08/03/2024 02:53

I've travelled widely on my own. I've taken what many would see as risks, because my idea of travel goes wider & deeper than a few escorted trips out of an AI hotel - and I like it that way! I have had some fairly alarming experiences, and they're far outweighed by the amazing, the beautiful, the heartwarming, the laughs, and by the general niceness of people everywhere.

Nothing "terrible" happened - though, actually, terrible things can & do happen anywhere. For every instance where your unexpected presence as a foreigner looks like an opportunity to someone, there are fifty instances of organised criminals deliberately targeting packed tourist resorts.

It's unwise to go on empty beaches at night, as your DD knows. It's unwise to hang out with people you've just met while carrying money and valuables.

Glad to hear she's okay. Agree she should report it and claim on her insurance.

How about flying over to spend a week with her? Let her show you the ropes!

cariadlet · 08/03/2024 02:59

Roussette · 07/03/2024 19:09

Not sure why that is funny?
According to some charts and research it is one of the most dangerous countries in Europe. Obviously excluding Ukraine and Russia. But as Moldova has landlocked Russian run Transnistria within it's borders as an unrecognised state, it's up there

I agree with @Aydel that Moldova really isn't a dangerous country to visit.
I've been there. We went to a very strange cat museum in Chisinau. We also went to Transnistria. It was an odd experience, crossing a border that doesn't officially exist but perfectly safe for tourists.

Mexico, on the other hand, is dangerous, particularly with the drug cartels.
It sounds like the op's daughter is an experienced traveller who made a silly lapse of judgement in this case. Hopefully, she'll learn from it. She lost a lot of money but wasn't physically injured so no harm done.
It's scary as a parent because there's nothing you can do to protect your children when they're away from home so I do sympathise with the op.

Oblomov24 · 08/03/2024 03:04

I'm sorry to hear of this, but not surprised. It goes on all over the place, always has, always will, because not all places are as law abiding and honourable as others. Plenty of corruption in General thief's, but also police and border control guards who take money, passports, all sorts.

I went travelling at 17, moons ago. Had a fab time. She was very naieve to go onto the beach at night with the 2 Italian men. To have that much cash. But at least they didn't take more if her stuff, passport, worse still take her.

Hope she learns from this and enjoys the rest of her trip.

Blahblarblehbleh · 08/03/2024 03:14

I worked in Mexico for a short period when I was 19. The reps were given cars and were actually warned to put some money in the car for what is essentially police bribes (and to hide any other money). They would regularly stop people at checkpoints on main roads and say you've done xy or z wrong and demand payment to be "let off".

This was just the police, other stuff went on in the hotels where we lived, hotel staff breaking into our room safes to get at our money and valuables. The whole time i was there I was warned about so many different cons or bad things that had happened. I really really didn't like it. Lucky for me, the resort had to get closed down temporarily, so we all went home, I chose to go to another resort instead, due to the above reasons. Its so off putting. Its so dangerous there.

Garlicking · 08/03/2024 03:28

Roussette · 07/03/2024 19:09

Not sure why that is funny?
According to some charts and research it is one of the most dangerous countries in Europe. Obviously excluding Ukraine and Russia. But as Moldova has landlocked Russian run Transnistria within it's borders as an unrecognised state, it's up there

Total thread diversion, but interested parties should check out the last few days' news of Transnistria. Likely to be the seat of a fresh Russian assault on Ukraine AND surrounding countries, unless foreign powers can stop it.

cariadlet · 08/03/2024 03:30

cariadlet · 08/03/2024 02:59

I agree with @Aydel that Moldova really isn't a dangerous country to visit.
I've been there. We went to a very strange cat museum in Chisinau. We also went to Transnistria. It was an odd experience, crossing a border that doesn't officially exist but perfectly safe for tourists.

Mexico, on the other hand, is dangerous, particularly with the drug cartels.
It sounds like the op's daughter is an experienced traveller who made a silly lapse of judgement in this case. Hopefully, she'll learn from it. She lost a lot of money but wasn't physically injured so no harm done.
It's scary as a parent because there's nothing you can do to protect your children when they're away from home so I do sympathise with the op.

Correction: I'm getting my East European capitals mixed up.
The cat museum was in Minsk (Belarus), not Chisinau (Moldova). But I do stand by my earlier statement that Moldova and Transnistria are perfectly safe to visit as a tourist.

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