Cake fail

[Knnniggets]

There’s a kid in my DC’s class who is allergic to eggs. Obviously we try not to poison him every time our DC have a birthday but bloody hell; this is the worst cake I have ever made in my life. If I hadn’t been responsible for this monstrosity, I would have assumed that the Milka cow came and took a massive chocolate shit on my kitchen counter.

I used egg replacement in a BBC chocolate sponge recipe. Yes I did add baking powder. What the actual hell went wrong here? Is egg replacement the work of a multinational fraudster or did I just screw this up? How do you make egg-free cakes??? Arghh

waits impatiently for pic of milka cow pat/cake

Come on, show us your poo cake.

Just send in Haribos?

People buy box cake mixture and use a can of fizzy pop. Or just buy cakes from the shop.

My son is allergic to eggs and I've always had more success with vegan recipes rather than egg replacement. Chocolate cake seems to work best but can do others.
Also for his sister's parties I tend to just make/buy a normal cake then get some vegan cupcakes/small cake for him and others with allergies. I'm more than happy when other parents do this, it's great they provided anything.

This is the offending article

Oh yeah it's not risen at all has it 😬

I’ve just lathered it in frosting + smarties and hope the sugar and chocolate will make it palatable to the 5 year olds 🙈.

At my DC primary school of a DC had allergies then the mums would make a cake that they could eat because of course they know what they're doing usually

Bit weird when parents of DC with awkward allergies expect others to magically create an eggless or dairy free cake

I'm sure they won't be criticising it at all

I mean the mum of the DC with the allergy would make their own cake

And not expect other mums to make what you've made

I doubt they expect anyone to make a cake that their kid can eat, but I imagine they are hugely grateful when someone makes that effort for their kid to be included

This DC with an allergy has a really lazy entitled mum if she's expecting all the other mums to make cakes with no eggs

That recipe has 3 eggs which suggests it’s quite dependent on the eggs for rising. The “dump and mix” cake I make has one for contrast. You might have had more luck with a less “eggy” cake?

Anyway it’s chocolate and sugar, kids aren’t going to criticise!

Well done! I think egg-free cakes are difficult. I wouldn’t use an egg replacement for more than one egg.

Grasmere fruitcake works well but not everyone eats fruit cake these days.
I’m sure they will all love it.

I agree with the vegan cake thing - DS had loads of allergies and I used to make a vegan cake for him. He grew out of the allergies by the time he went to secondary school, btw, so there's hope! But with candles etc, your cake will be fine.

No the DC mums at our school didn't want their DC to die from their allergies so made damn sure they made or bought specific foods and the child was very very aware of what not to eat

@Qwerty21

It's about the 100% absolute safety of your allergic DC

And should not be grateful that someone has made an effort. That parent needs to be vigilant

I think it looks tasty! Possibly in a chewy way. Send some to me!

I'd be so happy if someone made me a cake to accommodate my allergy, and if it didn't turn out perfectly I would probably just love you even more!

That looks demonic. Burn it with fire!

can we see the iced version?

My DH giggled at it like a little boy…

I don’t know if this kid’s allergy is anaphylactic in nature and don’t intend to find out. All cakes brought into that class are to be without nuts and without eggs.

Well done.

I don't mean that in a patronising way. I am genuinely impressed.

I once had to make a sugar free cake. I did it with honey and boy, that was a mess.
So I am very impressed with your egg free cake.

Cover it with icing, smarties, sprinkles and any other E-number you can think of, the kids will.love it.

I make this cake a lot - it's really nice, very easy and always comes out well.

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I do sympathise OP, I made a cake for my DDs and it was pure rubber - like eating an old plimsoll. But I'm sure the 5yr old will enjoy yours, smarties and gooey icing are always winners.

If you really hate it, could you do a huge rice crispy chocolate cake.

Very simply
Melt a shit ton of chocolate
Pour in a whole box of rice crispies
Put the mixture in a cake tin
Let it set.
Get it out if the tin and decorate.
You can still put candles in it and slice it.

There no eggs and kids live chocolate rice crispie cakes.