I’ve realized something big today.

[Bunbum]

You know when you hear of something that somebody is doing with their life which is quite a big deal i.e running their own successful business, moving abroad, traveling…. something for THEM, something that doesn’t necessarily have to make them money but whatever it is they are doing it’s their dream/goal/ passion that they are fulfilling.

Well, I’ve realised today that I don’t seem to have a big dream/goal/passion. Not even a little one. Not even a fucking hobby. I just have nothing to really work towards. I’m desperate to find it though! I wish that whatever it is that I might so desperately want in the future, would come to me sooner. I don’t care if it seems a tad far fetched, I just want that goal to exist.

Does anybody else feel as though they aren’t working towards anything? Like every day is the same and will be like that forever.

Sorry to sound depressing but it’s taken me nearly 30 years to figure out why I get so so down whenever I hear someone full-filling their dream. It’s not that i’m jealous that they have full-filled it, it’s the mere fact that they had a dream/goal in the first place!

Find yours, try different things, see what you like and don't like.
Reading a book, Swimming, Gym, Jogging, Painting, Drawing.
Have a think about what you actually like doing or something you have always wanted to try.

I don't have any big dreams or goals or anything either.

I just want my boys to be happy and have a good life, and for me and dh to continue as we are.

No, nothing. Everything revolves around my kids (one with health issues)

Figure I'll have more time when youngest two are more independent, but realistically I'll be a carer for eldest for the rest of my life. Right now I'm too worn down and time poor to manage adding anything new (though it's prob be great for my mental health!)

Yup same here. Spend a lot of time supporting/enabling/ encouraging other people though. Just plod along with my own bits of hobbies in between. In childhood never particularly encouraged to aim high etc so it’s not really how I tick over.

My hobbies:

Foraging (plants and fungi) which includes learning to recognise different plants, trees and all their different uses!

Then learning how to make delicious recipes or medicines with them. How to dry and preserve them for future use.

I also knit and sew and although Im not very good at either, I find it relaxing and rewarding. I even darn DH socks, just because he can see I care enough to do it.

I love reading carious books and have hundreds!

Sometimes I draw or paint.

I do a bit of gardening and DIY.

I'm learning about old gods and goddesses and so I'm enjoying old stories and myths about them. Did you know that Father Christmas pulling reindeer is actually stolen/taken from the goddess Ellen of the Ways who used to herd reindeer when they were native to Britain?

I love playing table top games with my husband.

I go to the gym and do yoga to stay fit.

I like dressing up (cosplaying). On Valentine's day this year, my husband and I went out for lunch witg our daughter, and we dressed as characters from Hogwarts! I was a Ravenclaw student and DH was professor Snape.

There's so much out there. Even collecting pretty rocks you find or sticks with lots interesting lichen on them is a hobby.

What excites you? What did you want to do when you were a little girl?

I have very small goals. Like completing a cross-stitch or finishing a book. Each day in my life might be same old, same old, but doing these little things is nice.

I have no goals or ambitions but I am happy that way. I am simply living and am just being and there is nothing wrong with that. We are allowed to be content and satisfied with what we have rather than always chasing the next big thing.

I like the phrase ' You do you' which means you don't have to have a goal. Some of us drift with the tide of life rather than swim vigorously.

@Jingleeaster i read yours as “I have very small goats” (I’m so tired!) and thought ooh yeah I’d love tiny goats 😂

Oh yes I always like a project! I used to flip properties and that was great, but not financially viable now. But the little cottage my son lives in (I own) desperately needs a makeover so trying to free up some money to get at it. Needs the utility area, kitchen, bathroom done (including knocking a wall down). I have an idea in my head and am creating some mood boards on Pinterest.
But in the meantime I crochet (doing a top for my DD currently, then a beanie and scarf in local football team colours for son), and I also design for my Etsy shops.
If I don't have a project on the go, or at least in the planning stages, I get very restless and unsettled. Things just seem to drift a long without having anything to show for it. I like to have something concrete at the end so I can think 'I made that'. Gives me a real sense of pride and satisfaction.

My hobbies are reading, quiz's, crosswords. I exercise and take care of my family, I occasionally see friends. I have a job I like.
I am happy I have a great husband and awesome kids. I'm very lucky.

Some people dream big and others don't, both are ok

Same op not a single one. Very depressing considering I'm turning 30 this week and don't have a hobby or anything I enjoy

I’m quite jealous- I’m an author and my life is literally built on the ‘someday I’ll make it’ model😅 This means I never take a day off or if I do I get non stop guilt and I’m always trying to figure out my next strategy etc. every success is extremely short lived. Enjoy finding something you love

I got into jigsaws this year. Very therapeutic of an evening.
I knit jumpers from vintage patterns, I grow fruit and veg and herbs, I've got a dehydrator to keep stuff for the next year.
I make recipes from old recipe books- anything from 1700-1970.
I just bought a thing to convert cassettes to MP3 so that's next week sorted.
I find old keep fit videos on YouTube (70s/80s) and do them in the evening.

I used to want drama and excitement and fast living but when I got it, it was fucking awful, and what I've got now is beautiful.

Nope. No goals or real hobbies.

And only the last few months I’ve settled and accepted that it’s just the way I am.

just because everyone else seems to have hobbies/goals/dreams doesn’t mean I need to. Society says right?

Totally get it

In my 30s, I was doing well at work but overall found it very boring

Had a session with a highly lauded work coach (paid session by my employer) who was visibly frustrated about something about 30 mins in. She ended up bluntly saying that she was shocked that I’d mentioned everything I wanted in terms of money.

I still didn’t get what her problem was. She finally said “you have no passion”. Um, yeah. I don’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did have periods of being very keen on creative writing but I decided it wasn’t worth spending free time on it when it began feeling like hard work … on top of the work I already did.

I do have hobbies but nothing major. Often I think I’ll do my hobby but end up here or watching TV.

No I don't either. I've been unwell for quite awhile with various things, and my only goal right now is to get better so I can go back to work and actually leave my house regularly. I don't think much further ahead than that!

Do you remember any passions or strong interests or dreams from when you were really little? It could be fruitful to reconnect to the child part of you.

In my fifties and retired early.

Doing voluntary work I love currently and hiking, in around 2.5 years DH will join me and we will be travelling around Europe and America for maybe 2 years. Will then be relocating to The Peak District which we are not too far from and buying a house with a giant garden at least half an acre on the edge of a town as yet to be decided. Then smaller trips, will get a small rescue dog.

I retrained completely just before I was 30 so had two separate careers. Did a lot of public speaking and was on tv and radio a couple of times. I’m not remotely famous but was campaigning for a charity.

I am mighty irritated that life runs out, we have had a few friends die in their forties and early fifties. I have tried a ridiculous amount of hobbies, a few have stuck.

At 49 I had a horrific health scare, hence me retiring earlier than expected. I remember my sister saying if you die now you will have still fitted in more than most do in a lifetime.

I think you just need to try out and find things that you enjoy. The fulfilment or dream would be finding and enjoying this something however big or small.

Or let your imagination run wild, inspired by other people or places. Again, exploring what you think you would enjoy, what would give you that feeling of fulfillment.

I really resonate with this!

Early thirties and just plodding along. I keep fit and am fairly busy but I have no real goals, aspirations or hobbies (other than win the lottery…)

I enjoy travelling so always try and have a holiday booked, and I enjoy food so eat out a lot but it’s not really a ‘hobby’.

I wonder if it’ll ever feel passionate about something - my job is boring but fine and it pays well, but I would happily retire tomorrow if I could!

No glittering career or massive aspirations here... but during Covid,(still working as I'm a TA in special ed) I realised I was bored with life.

Bought a piano on a whim and while it's slow learning, it gives me pleasure.

And more recently I took on an allotment... and hell yes. I dream about vegetables now It's my happy place away from home, kids, worries,; I've met lots of lovely fellow allotmenteers, my dh isn't allowed near... it's MY place and planning, growing seeds, digging, ... has done wonders for me! Sounds nuts but it works.
I'm in my 50s now but have spent 30 years looking after kids, working with kids, my youngest has special needs and will always need support... and it defined me. Just having a 'something for me' has been fantastic.

I am not a very ambitious person and like the simple things so l know what you mean op.

But last year, l took myself off to the city in Europe my favourite film was set in and had a wonderful few days exploring the area.

Nothing big to anyone else, but a lifelong dream of mine that l fulfilled and a memory l will always treasure.

Could you do something similar?

I'm another with small goals. I've done some pretty big things in my life, more than most would have. I probably could have done more, but really I think most people think they could have XYZ.

I do a weekly list which usually rolls on for several with things on it like "pick up one of the bedside books" - I love reading but somehow have a pile of 10 or so books unread for years. I know when I used to read loads I often felt guilty for reading and found it hard as there was often no one to talk to about the book.
I would like to volunteer. It was the plan for this year but my health situation changed early this year and I'm suffering panic attacks and slight agorophobia on top of the main issue, so obviously that has been put on hold. I'm getting FOMO from the little things I used to do but now can't, and they weren't huge shakes!

You don't have to wear yourself out following the trends on sm with "growth" and all the "boss bitch" slogans. Those people are rarely happy and just need approval from large groups of people regularly. I like to think how calm and relaxing my grandparents house was and try to emulate whatever that vibe was, personally!

I started a masters at 40… at almost 42 with 9 months still to go I’m seriously questioning what the fuck I was thinking. Future goals are going to be much more achievable.

I did a half marathon in early 2020… but peaked and have put on 2stone since (sigh).