Starting a new job at 11 weeks pregnant

[BrandySnaps1]

Just accepted a job. Start in 2 weeks when I will be 11 weeks pregnant

due in September and hiring lady mentioned a business trip she would like me to go on in September

I feel anxious. Am I doing the right thing? Currently not working and really need the money. When do I tell her I’m pregnant? I haven’t had my scan yet, hesitant to say as it’s still early but worried she could revoke the offer. I can work up until august as most women do. Scared she will be angry if I tell her later on down the line

You need a job and need the money.
You are also entitled to have a baby.
Do not feel bad.
Maybe get the scan out the way and tell her? Is there a probation period ? What job is it ?

There’s 3 month probation. It’s for a small business where I will mostly work from home with the occasional event or business trip to go on

I don’t know why I feel bad. I really need the money but worried she could say she doesn’t want me to join anymore because of the baby. She asked me a few times if I can travel / family commitments

is 12 weeks too early to tell? I will only be working for one week and then will drop this bombshell ..

You are under no obligation to tell until you are 25 weeks.

However if you want paid time off for maternity appointments then you would have to disclose.

I suggest you give it at least a month to show them how fabulous you are before you tell them.

But either way do not feel guilty.

PS really inappropriate of them to ask you about your family commitments.

Don't tell yet. It's too early, you need to have your scan etc first to know all is ok. Personally I wouldn't tell until the deadline.

She said she wanted to know if I’m ok travelling abroad etc, and that they have lots of working mums. I’ve been to the office and it’s very family oriented.

job looks really boring but I’ve been out of work for a few months and found out I was expecting end of jan.

she is trying to book flights/accommodation for the future events which fall in my ninth month so I’m a little nervous. Scan is in another 2 weeks…

I wouldn’t let her book flights for you if you know already that you can’t take them, but other than that, it’s your right to have a baby and also to earn your money.

Don’t know how I can stall for another 3 weeks until I have my scan though

I’m hesitant because anything can happen before then but I don’t want her to think im
not serious about the job

Is she going to be privately annoyed . Yea she is, but your doing nothing wrong and need a job. I'd just work really hard to impress her in the next few months .

She asked me a few times if I can travel

And you know you can't in September. There are rights and then there's just lying in an interview.

I don't know what the answer is though because I don't think you should tell until your scan. Maybe say, "can we wait and see if we're a good fit before booking? Maybe let's see how the first month goes". Or something.

If it was a large company, fair enough. But not a small business. I run one myself and I'd be devastated to take someone on, think I had help/cover and then they would be needing considerable time off that I'd need more cover for. It's lovely for you, of course, congratulations, but I think you need to be up front.

I would have mentioned sure people can say 'well I would hide it and not tell' but to me the right thing is to tell and not mess people around

I would also think it helps others by people being honest people can 'you don't legally have too' but no wonder why people complain they have troubles with employers when people hide relevant info

I’m not even 10 weeks yet and we haven’t told our families yet. This lady is essentially a stranger to me still. Yes she runs a business but I will also have a baby to feed so need the money.

id also work right up till September so don’t see that as messing her about. It’s not ‘hiding’ it’s too early to tell and I will tell her earlier than I’m legally required to

You can't travel in September though. And that's the expectation. I wouldn't let her book tickets.

I’m trying to stall for 3 more weeks when I have my scan. Obviously I don’t want her to book the tickets as I know I won’t be able to travel

You are under no obligation to tell her, and if you fail your probation period or she no longer wants to hire you due to your pregnancy it's discrimination so unless they want to risk a large payout it wouldn't be in their interest.

I personally wouldn't tell until your scan. Like you say there is a risk of complications, it's early on and you haven't even told your family. Your boss running her business is not your problem. These things happen and some people don't even know they are pregnant straight away.

Try not to worry, your family and your pregnancy is your priority.

Personally I think it’s quite bad form for you to not at least say you can’t travel in September. If you don’t want to tell them about the pregnancy yet then that’s your choice, however the job requires travel in September, you know you cannot do that, so tell them you cannot do that.

With a probation period to work if you agree now, knowingly lying because you know you can’t travel, and then turn round and say you can’t attend, you’ll be let go anyway.

Also worth noting that the sooner they know about the pregnancy the sooner your protections start. As a brand new starter you have very little by way of employment rights as it is, pregnancy at least gives you some, and if you need the money then you’d rather get somewhere now where you can stay right through your pregnancy/mat leave rather than lie to them now and then end up let go in 2 months time when you’ll then be too far along to start somewhere else.

I totally get where you're coming from. The difficult thing to know is how much they value honesty. In our team we have a big emphasis on it, and we love it when people in an interview are honest about something like this, as it means they are very likely to be trustworthy and open. We have offered jobs to people in similar circumstances, and the fact they have been able to be open with us is usually a deciding factor.

But, that may not be their focus, and the may decide it isn't worth hiring you if you'll be off in September for a few months. You have no right to tell them at this stage, so you're doing nothing wrong. And if you need the job then go for it! Ultimately you need look after you. Have you any idea how in demand the role is?

To me it is messing people about I personally would do the right thing and explain now, no one needs to tell you what to do that is up to you

There’s no way i would tell her before I’ve even told my mum at this early stage

I think she really wants me to have the role. I could be completely overthinking and she might be fine about it. Sept is a long time away, someone could go in my place to cover me

if they let me go because of pregnancy it’s not a company I’d want to stay at anyway and I’ll go back to temping.

At least tell them you are not able to travel in September and then they can make a decision. If that is crucial for the role and you know you are not able to do that, it’s a bit rubbish not to bother telling them, you don’t have to say its due to pregnancy but tell the truth about your ability to do the job. Most companies really value honesty & if you are saying anything other than “no sorry I cannot travel in September” then you’re outright lying and will be out during your probation anyway.

Brilliant, in that case go for it! Also, if you're good at it the role they won't care as they will have found a great employee :) Good luck!!!

For those saying don't tell till 12 weeks. Ask yourself how you'll feel if something happens between now and then? Are you going to want work to be understanding and supportive?

Also you are legally protected from discrimination if they offically know you're pregnant. If they suspext but dont know they can get rid of you with no repercussion.

If you've signed a contract tell her. If it makes you feel better have a fake doctors appointment and act all shocked, surprised and a bit upset you're pregnant. But you will be legally protected from the point of telling them.

I told my line manager at 6 weeks before i'd even told my parents. I was really sick, i needed their understanding. I asked them not to share the information any further as per our policy. I didn't tell anyone else I worked with until 25 weeks and my maternity cover ad was going out.

I used to run a small business with 6 members of staff. You always change plans and adapt. The company will just have to change the name on the ticket and accommodation and send someone else. I wouldn't tell

You should be upfront now. It’s a small business who could struggle due to your lack of transparency. In normal circumstances, you don’t really have to tell her about your pregnancy just yet.
However, she’s asked you if you can travel and to say yes is lying at interview.

You need to do the right thing and tell her now otherwise it’s deceit.