How often do your teens visit their grandparents?

[Flowersinthewateringcan]

My dc are 18 and 16.

They always had a close relationship with both sets of grandparents (all GPs live nearby and looked after dc when I went to work part time), they are my parents only grandchildren.

However, over the last few years my dc have not been keen at all to visit them, which I understand but feel really sad about. My parents are 82/81 (mum has Alzheimer’s) and my father in law is 82 and on his own since MIL Sadly passed away 4 years ago. I especially feel sad for my dad as my ds18 and he were very close, ds was the son dad never had.

I do remember being the same myself at that age. I lost my grandparents from the ages of 18 through to 29 and now wish I’d spent more time with them in their later years. However, I can not force my dc to go and see them but I feel sad about it nonetheless.

Is this quite normal for teens? My 70 year old friend sees her 15 year old granddaughter all the time, she stays over every weekend and during the week sometimes. Do yours visit their grandparents if they are nearby?

Mine have never visited their grandparents independently.

My ExH and I divorced when they were 20.

I have continued to arrange family meet ups and so my kids still see my parents.

My DD saw his parents at his second wedding last year and it was the first time she had seen them for 5 years.

DD is 19 and although she doesn’t exactly love it as it can be boring for her she does still come with me to see DM for a few hours each weekend. As she’s getting older she has started to realise that granny won’t be here forever and it’s nice to have quality time together. We are only about 10 minutes down the road though and have a very close family

Very regularly.

My grandparents have 17GC ranging from age 10-40. They see us all at different times at least once a week.

The teenagers pop in for tea and a biscuit regularly without their parents having to nag them to go.

I hardly ever saw mine.

The maternal set lived over 2 hours away and were both gone by the time I was 11. We saw them once, maybe twice a year. They were more interested in us kids generally, and were a bit younger. But the distance got in the way. My grandma also had leukemia that dragged on for many years, which limited our ability to visit that much. But they were much more involved with my cousins, who lived about a 15 minute drive away. I know they remember them with a lot of love and fondness. I've always been sad that I didn't have longer to know them, as by all accounts they were a lot of fun.

The paternal set lived an hour away and died when I was about 20 and 23. I visited my grandma a couple of times independently once she was living in a care home. But more under duress than actual care. They weren't especially interested in my sister and I growing up. They'd begrudgingly raised 2 boys, a bit later in life, so little girls were a mystery to them. My grandpa was clearly autistic, and my grandma was raised in a parade of boarding schools. So family life and relationships were difficult for them.

Only if I'm passing with one of them in the car and I need to stop off at my Dads. DS1 will happily go in without being prompted but DS2 needs told to get out of the car. He's quite awkard though as is my Dad so the conversation is minimal although I know my Dad loves seeing them.

MIL.... DS1 would again call in on her when he's back from Uni although that might be once a year. DS2 sees her when she calls here but would never go visit her which is weird because he loved her the most in the world when he was a kid.

Never lived close (hours) but they visit independently of me this (now older) and one calls frequently. Neither have much to do with the other grandparents because they weren't bothered with them when they were younger

My mum was like a second mum to our oldest and he even lived with her for a few years before she died as she lived closer to work . Neither of mine were / are close to the in-laws ( only MIL now) . My dad died before they were born .

Mine are 17 and 14 and see their remaining GP every few months facilitated by me and DH. FIL lives 1.5 hrs drive away/2.25 hrs by public transport.
We have a family whatsapp group which everyone is part of. Other gc see him more frequently as they are closer (both in terms of distance and relationship). All of us find communication difficult as FIL is very deaf and speaking on the phone is almost impossible. It's not a lot easier in person , he's occassionally snapped or been cross with DC for not answering a question when he simply hasn't heard.

I’m taking dd round to see my parents in a min, she’s not overly keen but said she’ll come with me.

I see my parents all the time as I help out because of mum having dementia. I suppose my dc find it difficult now as mum asks them the same questions over and over and dad is becoming stressed and a bitter having to look after mum so he moans a lot.

FIL has always been very old fashioned and has no form of technology in his home and sits in silence (never had a radio or the tv on), he also has minimal signal where he leaves so the dc are really bored when they visit him especially as he talks about his life from the past most of the time, bless him.

In general terms most teenagers won't be close to much older relatives whom they will consider old fashioned. It will of course depend but I would say this is usual.

It surely depends on lots of things such as proximity (how easy is it for your DC to go and see their GPs independently) and strength of family relations.

My parents never bothered to form a genuine relationship with my DC so DC don't bother with them.

MIL is in full time nursing care and the DC go to see her occasionally when DH/we visit. DD goes more frequently than DS, mainly due to the fact that MIL generally doesn't recognise DS (but does DD) which he finds hard to deal with, whilst understanding why.

It's interesting that you regret not seeing your own grandparents more. I think you have to realise that your own children might not have the same regrets.

shepherdsangeldelight I appreciate that not all families live close by hence the reason I asked the question Do yours visit their grandparents if they are nearby? in my op.

I think it can be very dull for young people to visit relatives in their 70's/80's. There's a huge variety though - depending on the relationship and temperaments of both the grandparents and the kids. There's no right or wrong and I think at 16/18 it's not something you should try and force.

I'm like a previous poster in that the Grandparents who bothered to have a relationship with my children do have a good one and see them often whereas with my parents (who wouldn't know my children if they walked past them in the street) there is no relationship at all - either physically or emotionally

My nieces are 17 & 20. The eldest is away at uni but sees my Mum any time she's home, even if it's just for the weekend. Younger one visits with her Dad fortnightly but has been known to get on a train and meet Mum for lunch. They visit her independently when the eldest is back for holidays etc as she has a car.

They genuinely enjoy spending time with their Gran

My young children love going to grandparents. My nieces are teenagers and do drop in quite regularly - they love hanging out together and sharing skills etc.
Maybe need to work on some activities they can all do together to help the visits along.ie look at old photos, play games......

Not often- which makes me sad.

Mine only see their GPs about 3-5 times per year. MIL in general is once a year, because she lives OS. My parents we visit approx. 4 times a year and my Dad will usually come and see us on his own maybe once a year, usually in conjunction with a sporting fixture of some kind. They live 2.5 hours away, so it's doable in a day, but not a lot of fun to spend 5 hours in the car.

It’s hard not to feel sad, isn’t it Bluevelvetsofa? I can’t force my dc to see my parents more often but it does make me feel sad.

DC are 14 and 17, they only have one grandparent and she doesn't live nearby. They're reliant on XH to take them and he doesn't, despite me asking him to. I feel sad for my kids that they don't have a close relationship with grandparents, I loved spending time with my grandparents until they passed away. I don't have much family, none nearby. They loved spending time with my mum before she died and would stay for a few days during the summer holidays.

Never. They used to see them once a month or so until covid lockdowns.

My DC are younger and see my parents weekly and my inlaws monthly as they are further away. The eldest of my nieces and nephews is 18 and is at my parents house most days, sometimes just for a few minutes and sometimes for longer. They live just around the corner and stayed with my parents a lot when they were younger so it’s a home from home for them.

I only had one grandparent growing up and only seen them once a year if even that. They weren’t far away, only about a 30 minute drive but I don’t think they were that interested so fair enough, I wasn’t that keen on them anyway.

Apologies you did. Unfortunately it wasn't in your original question, which is the one I replied to (and I suspect other posters will too).

My DC are generally happy to come along and see my mum (dad is dead) even though she is now old and frail and tends to talk about family that they have never known, because she looked after them a bit when they were young, and has also given them money to help support them through uni.

They know she values family and are happy to repay the financial support be seeing her even if it wouldn't be their first choice of activity.

To be fair if one grandparent has dementia that can be hard to be around. Personally I'd sell it as even though they can't express it they do appreciate seeing you and it gives the other grandparent a break.

I have always seen my grandparents once a week at the bare minimum but I used to see one nanny practically every day when I was at sixth form and would go and spend lunch and any breaks with her. Even when my nanny was in a home I went every week and my other grandparents I still see them at least one a week and so they see my daughter every week too. My brother still goes to my grandparents for dinner every week (he has his own home and is 26). I realise we are very much in the minority but we have always been very close to our grandparents.