How do you keep on top of your home?

[Gymmum82]

If you work full time?
In the past we had a cleaner but unfortunately due to the costs of everything increasing we can’t afford that anymore. Both me and DH work full
time. I feel like my house is constantly a mess, I feel like all I do is get home from work try to clean up a bit, cook dinner. By the time I’m sitting down to eat it’s 9pm then we go again the next day.
Does anyone have any methods which work? I’ve tried flylady (too much to do every day) tomm (worked for a bit but I found it unsustainable)
I know part of the problem is we just have too much stuff. But I never get time to declutter so the mess remains. Can anyone help with what you do each day?
I leave the house by 6.30am most mornings and get home around 5.30-6pm.

It’s difficult, so firstly you have to accept that good enough is good enough.

You need a routine to get essentials done everyday, and they must get done every day. Ie dishwasher loaded and unloaded, washing machine load and put for drying, food not left out, rubbish not left out but put in bin.

Im talking essentials, making the bed isn’t essential (and in fact an unmade bed airs better).

Then everyone in the house, but mostly you and DH, PUT AWAY, DONT PUT DOWN. so if scissors get used, they get put away, not just left where they were used. Also, ONLY DO THE JOB ONCE NOT TWICE. Ie hang your coat on its hook, not the back of the chair, because it will only have to be moved to the hook some time later.

Have a place for everything. Hard I know when you have too much stuff. But look at the areas that cause you most agro. So if shoes get left in the porch, instead of going back to their rooms, put a big shoe basket by front door. Put up a hook for school bags etc.

If paper work piles up, put three (or more) trays out for urgent, bills, file. Open post everyday, even if you don’t action it.

I remember having too much stuff all the time and feeling that my house wasn’t big enough. Now that my (only) child has left home, my house is now big enough. Funny that. So just remember, because you feel you live in chaos now, this doesn’t mean this is who you are and you won’t end up in old age never ever having a tidy house.

Re your 7 year old. I personally think 7 is quite young to be responsible for her room. Often what feels like refusal is that they just don’t have the skills yet to think and organise ‘tidy your room’. So ‘put your books on the shelf’ may be an easier instruction to follow. I found offering to help my child to do a specific task in sorting her room, meant that once she got started, I could quietly disappear after 10 minutes. You may have struck lucky with a helpful 10 year old who has set a high standard of behaviour for your younger one to follow.

But let your DH take over this. It’s causing you too much stress. He may have a different tactic that works. Obviously don’t do this if he’s likely to shout more than you.

Best of luck. But good enough is good enough when you are deep in the trenches of parenting.

I get in at 4/430. I do one job a day -
Monday - bathroom s
Tuesday- dust/tidy upstairs
Weds- dust/tidy down stairs
Thursday- nothing due to swimming lessons
Fri- hoover/mop

I then cook tea at 5 (I prep veg for week on a Sunday ) we eat at 530/6
Load dishwasher/wipe kitchen I also empty/fill dishwasher
Dh does homework/pack ups
Then bedtimes and sit down about 830

Weekends dh will Hoover upstairs. I normally put clothes away. And any bigger jobs need doing

I like a Slob Comes Clean, decluttering at the speed of life is her book. She says you just sort of do it in the moments between other things rather than having big clear outs less often. She has a great method for decluttering things one by one rather than pulling everything out and making a mess that you have to tidy up later. Of course you can still do longer sessions within this but it all helps even when you don't have loads of time to dedicate to it.

I go on about my weekly cleans, but each week would do a single thing "extra" on top of it. So the basic clean which I do every week is:
Hoover upstairs+downstairs+stairs, mop hard floors, wipe counters (lifting everything up!) + cabinet doors with spray, clean the hob, clean the bathrooms/toilets, change bedding, wipe sofas and chairs wet wet microfibre, wipe mirrors. That takes me about 1.5-2 hours, I do it on Fridays when I have a short day.
"Extra" would be a single task like:
Clean extractor fan, clean inside the fridge, clean the oven, clean interior windows/doors, wipe baseboards, wash cushion covers/throws, wipe ALL surfaces (tables, shelves, top of cabinets and wardrobes, inside media consoles, picture frames etc), sort out food cupboards, etc.
I sort trough the shoes/clothing twice a year, when I put away the seasonal stuff.
House is not spotless - we have 2 dogs so it would never be spotless without a live-in 24/7 cleaner, but I am not afraid of visitors.

I schedule it in. I have a calendar app (time tree) and a weekend will be set aside for straightening things out and the family know it and other stuff doesnt get scheduled to derail it.

I work in categories, first priority is litter. Then gathering up crockery for dishwasher. Then laundry. By the time those 3 are out of the way you hopefully have space to hoover! Paperwork and books could be a category.

Decluttering = vital. Then, everything needs a place and I do this marie kondo style because it's how you use stuff eg: no burying stuff behind stuff in cupboards.

I will absolutely gather up other household member's stuff into baskets and return to owner for 'filing'. DP is terrible with tools, they get scattered around the hpuse so i return them to his seat/coffee table so he cant ignore them 🤣

I'd say try and invest time in decluttering and reset the rules/habits, as they will be more beneficial in the long term.
Set time aside for decluttering, regularly i.e. one hour every Saturday morning while the kids are visiting their granny-type of thing. But make sure to do it every Saturday morning.
Start small with installing new habits: everyone puts the dishes in the dishwasher after every meal, no exceptions. Stick to the same rule for a month and when it's well established move to 'everybody takes their dirty laundry downstairs in the morning' etc.

I looked at Flylady a few years ago and it did help tbh.

The only aspects I stick to are 'put it away not down' and shine your sink.

So things are put away rather than put on the side to be put away later amd we make sure the kitchen is clean before going to bed.

Oh, and 15/30 mins of housework a day (depending on how motivated I am). It's amazing what you can actually get done in 15 mins!

Thank you for all your tips. I will try and start to implement them. I’ve done the kids a chore chart this evening and said if they do then every day they can get pocket money. I’ve done my usual basic clean of the upstairs and will try and do a little bit of decluttering whenever I get the time 🕰️

Do you also have a chore chart, your husband? Like put your laundry in th4 baskets or not leave your dishes in the sink?

i have an app on my phone. Which I try and tick off jobs as I do them. Sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t

How do I keep on top of my home?

Well I usually sit on the roof.

You need to tighten things up. You say you’re all messy so everyone needs to change habits and routine. After every meal everything goes in the dishwasher - I don’t understand why there’s dishes left lying around if you have a dishwasher, it takes seconds to put them in. Sides/table wiped down and any packets etc put back in cupboards/fridge after every meal. Dirty clothes go in the wash baskets or if they’re to be worn again either folded or hung up. After baths/showers it takes 2 mins to tidy away shampoos etc. shoes, jackets and bags put away as soon as you come home etc. Beds made before going to work/school, it doesn’t take long to shake a duvet up.

The dishes tend to happen if the dishwasher is full and switched on then the dishes pile up because we can’t put them in and then it’s getting the time to empty it. Seems like a quick job but I don’t have time in the mornings. I literally get up, dressed, pile everyone’s bags/coats/lunches etc by the door and leave the house at 5,45am. I know some will say get up earlier but I’m so exhausted I cannot get up any earlier than 5am.

That's not even housework, that's just basic picking up after yourself.

Honestly, a tidy house requires being tidy! Chucking clothes in a hamper takes seconds, and loading the dishwasher less than 5 minutes. If you keep on top of picking up yourselves in the week then half hour each at the weekend for a clean around should be enough (one downstairs, one upstairs).

We have very little kids (under four) and even they help with keeping the house clean. Every night after dinner we put music on and everyone cleans. The children clean up their toys up and down stairs while I hoover, and mop floors. DH washing dishes, and puts dishes in dishwasher and cleans kitchen top and hob. While the children do their nightly bath, I fold laundry (in the bathroom with them) and wipe down bathroom. Children put their clothing in the dirty clothes hamper after bath. Within 40 minutes the house is spotless.

We have a cleaner that comes twice per month to deep clean.

In the morning, I put a wash on (with our one year old helping to put the clothing in the washer/dryer) and then after I am ready for the day, I transfer to the dryer or hang dry. The children make their beds and clean up their breakfast dishes.

It is really important to us that our children know that we all contribute to a nice house and that if they make a mess they need to clean it up. We also ask them to look around the house and see what needs to be cleaned...its important to us that we are teaching them to be aware of their environment and not just wait for us to point things out and tell them to clean.

You said in your OP you leave the house by 6.30 though. What time does your DH and the children leave? The reason I’m asking is DH used to leave at 6 and I left at 8. I used to get up at 6, shower, dress and sort myself out before the children got up at 7. Either DH or I did the packed lunches the night before and sort bags so they were ready to go. Shoes, jackets etc were at the door ready to put on in the morning so we weren’t running around looking for anything. The dishwasher was emptied before bed so it was always empty in the morning. Maybe have a bit more routine so you and DH know what each other has to do and things might be a bit easier?

I'm a very tidy person. DH is not (naturally). I am not a lover of housework however and refuse to do more than my 1/4 (we are a family of 4).

DH got told that doing housework puts me off sex because it's hard to fancy him when I'm picking up his pants. Make me feel like a maid or his mother not a sex goddess. He does his own washing now and picks up after himself.

First make sure you have good habits yourself and are sharing things equitably with your DH. Model this to the DC and provide natural consequences if they don't do it (e.g. no clean clothes). Even then you might struggle. I work long hours and have no intention of spending my spare time cleaning the skirting boards for example, so they stay dirtier for longer than some people would be happy with. The alternative is a cleaner if you can afford it of course.

You and DH do 15 minutes each of an evening, that's half an hour of tidying done there and 15 minutes isn't too onerous. Then at the weekend, 2 hours each. That's then 4 hours, which should be enough. If you do it on a Saturday morning, that then leaves the rest of the weekend free. The kids can also help at the weekend, not the full 2 hrs but things like tidying their rooms etc.

I'd say whoever cooks, the other person does the dishwasher, wipes down the sides etc. It sounds like this is all on you when it should be equal.

At times when my kitchen and living room are really messy I make everyone do a 15 minute clean. There are 5 of us and basically no TV or screens are allowed on until we blitz the place. Ideally i should be doing it every day after dinner. It makes such a difference and I'd continue on and hoover and wash floors.

Have a good de-clutter get rid of the crap you dont need.
Im a minimalist i have space and everything is spotless.
my laundry is done once a week washed dried packed away that day.
Having less is more its freeing.
I didnt read any books or youtube i got brutal it had to be done.

i just looked around and thought hummmm im
not using any of this its unwanted clutter taking up space and my time .
That was 17 year ago no regrets.

Stop cooking every day.

Make two meals on Saturday or Sunday and eat them for three days each, either day after day or alternating. You could do a beef stew with dumplings and a chicken pot pie for variety.

Having the thought of what's for dinner hanging over you every day, then coming home and prepping, cooking, and cleaning up pots and stovetop is a mug's game.

Automate as much bill paying as possible.

If you can, get laundry done overnight on Friday/ Saturday and the entire project over and done with by Saturday evening. Buy an efficient dryer if you don't already have one.

If there are clothes that you iron, consider getting rid of them and replacing with easy care options. If your DH has work shirts that need ironing, consider having them dry cleaned and starched instead of either one of you ironing them at home.

Buy a robotic hoover.

How is your dishwasher filling up while there are still dishes in the sink with just four of you?

How long is your dishwasher wash cycle ?

Use paper kitchen towels to serve sandwiches on. Make the kids use the same glass or water bottle for drinks during the day. Same goes for you and DH.

Wipe out lunch containers instead of loading them into the dishwasher, if they clutter it up.

Get more efficient at loading the dishwasher.

7 is too young to know where to even start tidying a bedroom. You and your H need to actively lead here and work with the kids.

There should be a laundry basket in each bedroom and one in the bathroom too.

Take a few weekends to do some serious decluttering.

Things I do

• no to/tablet until room is tidy
• 1 job before I leave the house, even if it’s just emptying the bin or putting a few clothes away
• we make sure kitchen is clean before we settle down for the night
• i hate cleaning out the fridge so before we do our weekly shop I quickly go through it and clear out anything out of date, wipe a shelf down
• a load of washing most days

If your problem is too much stuff it will be much harder to keep clean and tidy. You could try a couple of sessions with a professional declutterer. They are expensive but can be worth it. But be prepared to get rid of stuff.

The sad thing is no amount of advice will clean your house for you, you just have to do it.
I get up at 4.45am and do the cleaning before work. That way we come home to a clean house.
You leave earlier than me though however you don't get home particularly late.
Try alternating evenings with your partner, one of you cleans and tidies whilst the other cooks your evening meal?
It's brutal but you just have to do it.