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I'll do it tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow! But tomorrow never ever comes!!

43 replies

ReginaG · 26/02/2024 06:55

Ill start the exercise programme that I've subscribed to. Tomorrow.
I'll start taking my multivitamins. Tomorrow
I'll start doing a meal plan. Tomorrow.
I'll start that online course. Tomorrow.
I'll start spending more time playing with dd. Tomorrow.
I'll start the cleaning routine. Tomorrow.
I'll go through the finances that need sorting. Tomorrow.
I'll call x,y,z to keep in touch. Tomorrow

You get the idea.

Why do I do this? What is wrong with me?!

The weird thing is, I'm good at researching, planning, organising stuff, writing to do lists and knowing what and how to do things.

For e.g the exercise thing. I have a problem with my core due to a muscle split and have realised my posture is affected too. I've found a good online course to strengthen the core and for my posture, I've researched which muscles I need to stretch and which ones I need to strengthen and the exercises to do this, how often etc.

I did them for 2 days and not done since. That was a week ago. Same with every single thing on that list. There's more but obviously I can't write it all down.

I feel frustrated, angry at myself. Am I lazy? It has sometimes got me in a pickle with people as I've let them down as ive promised to do something and then don't. I don't do this anymore though unless it's a small thing I know I will do.

How can I change? Why do I do this? I wonder is it about having a messed up reward centre in the brain. These tasks are boring / have no immediate reward therefore I don't want to do them?! I have no idea.

Please someone help me!

OP posts:
AstralSpace · 26/02/2024 07:09

Are you busy and overwhelmed? Or do you just need to put your phone away?

It's the start of today so what are you going to do? What time are you going to do these things?

Goal setting to a timetable helps me. I have a notebook that I write a list, figure out what time I'm fitting it in and then remember that I like looking back at the end of the day knowing I achieved my goals.

ReginaG · 26/02/2024 07:17

@AstralSpace I do feel overwhelmed and that can make me not want to do anything. I do spend a lot of time on the phone!

I've tried using a planner / notebook /.an app to write down lists and what to tackle for the day but not surprisingly I can never stick to it 😂

OP posts:
LadyBird1973 · 26/02/2024 07:22

Fear of failure can make you self sabotage. That's what happens to me with diet and exercise, even when it's going well.

I do think phones have a lot to answer for - they kill concentration and motivation.

frozendaisy · 26/02/2024 07:25

Do it to spite the mega rich tech people
They are stealing your time and data by effectively just pumping out time wasting nonsense whilst your to do list and stress about not getting anything done increases.

Enjoy your phone by all means

But put it down and live your life as well

ohpumpkinseeds · 26/02/2024 07:28

I'm like this, but it's because of having ADHD.

AstralSpace · 26/02/2024 07:30

Have a look at your screen time.
I worked out I could reduce my screen time by an hour easily (it was pretty horrendous) and get some exercise and chores done.
Then reduce another hour and get a course and some reading done.

Spend time with your Dd. Do you want her significant memories of her childhood be 'mum was always on her phone' ?
That's what she'll be doing too as soon as she can.

ProserpinaNow · 26/02/2024 07:31

I feel your pain. Fellow procrastinator here.

At night I take a glass of water to bed so that in the morning I take my vitamins before I get out of bed.

I do core exercises whilst brushing my teeth or waiting for the kettle to boil.

I have a "cleaning station" as I like to call it, in the downstairs loo and upstairs bathroom so that I can clean whilst I'm in there and the thought occurs rather than have to go looking for stuff and then forget.

They're just a few things that have helped lazy, disorganised me.

As for your DD. Look at her and remind yourself that she'll never be this young again. You can meal plan tomorrow but now you will get the paints out, or the tea set and play with her. Or go outside and jump in puddles - exercise and fresh air ticks a couple of things off the list straight away. And playing can involve helping you fold laundry and putting it away 🙂

ReginaG · 26/02/2024 07:32

ohpumpkinseeds · 26/02/2024 07:28

I'm like this, but it's because of having ADHD.

I've looked into ADHD but that's the only symptom I can really relate to. So not sure i have it.

What are some strategies you use to help you have consistency with stuff

OP posts:
Londonscallingme · 26/02/2024 07:32

ReginaG · 26/02/2024 07:17

@AstralSpace I do feel overwhelmed and that can make me not want to do anything. I do spend a lot of time on the phone!

I've tried using a planner / notebook /.an app to write down lists and what to tackle for the day but not surprisingly I can never stick to it 😂

Sorry, I really can sympathise but this made me lol 😂.

youveturnedupwelldone · 26/02/2024 07:33

There's nothing wrong with you, what you're trying to do is actually quite hard! Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you're overwhelmed by the enormity of the task in front of you.

Your list is two different things:

First category is habit building (eg multivitamins). Habit building takes time. Do not try and build too many at once.

Second is doing a long procrastinated task (eg sort out finances). These tasks get big and overwhelming, so when you tackle them there is a first stage of doing the "big bit" (sorting out) and then building a habit that stops you getting back into that state.

I'd make yourself two lists separating them out. Then pick one off each list to tackle, and the rest can wait.

From your list I would pick:

Multivitamins, because it's the easiest. Put them somewhere like next to your toothbrush, next to the coffee etc - attach it to something you already do. I need daily prescription meds so it's easy for me to attach it to that for instance. It doesn't matter what time of day you take them - the habit is "take multivitamins daily" not "take multivitamins in the morning" for instance. Don't try and tackle another habit for a couple of weeks.

Then I'd pick finances. I find if my finances are tidy it frees up a lot of brain space for other things. Set aside an afternoon to do it and stick to your commitment - it's annoying but it will take a chunk of time to do. Decide what "sorting out finances" actually means - is it getting your current account straight? Reviewing direct debits? Setting up savings accounts? Break it down into distinct tasks and make a list. Then work your way through it one by one.

For the exercise one, again break it down into stages and achievements. Some people start with "if I get to the gym I've succeeded" and find once they're they will do a workout - but they don't put the pressure on of "must do high intensity Olympic standard cardio and weight lifting". So commit to, say, doing something from your exercise programme once a week - anything is better than nothing right?

If a habit isn't sticking don't give up, give it another go and modify what you were trying to do. For instance, if putting the vitamins next to your toothbrush didn't work, try putting them on your bedside table.

I'd also look at your list and see if you can take some things away. Do you really need or want to keep in touch with all those people? Is a cleaning routine really necessary or can you modify it, for instance I just commit to leaving the kitchen tidy every evening and making sure the bathroom is clean. Can you get a gadget that helps? Dishwasher is a must for me, and recently I bought a cordless hoover that makes it much easier to whizz it round, so I hoover much more frequently now. For your exercise - does it have to be that routine? Could you start by eg committing to a daily half hour walk and build from there? Don't make your goals too big and overwhelming.

Someone will be along to mention adhd shortly. What I'll say about that (as someone who has is) is that regardless of the underlying reason you still have to put in effort to make it work, or you'll give up entirely.

ChanelNo19EDT · 26/02/2024 07:38

I have ADHD and I'm very all or nothing.

Try identifying one change, no sugar, or no junk food, or no beer? do that for a few weeks. Then when you're fine with that, and it feels normal, introduce the next change.

I've been meaning to read that James Cleer book, I think it talks you through big changes made through small changes.

I've got my eating and exercising under control but the mess and clutter in my house, I don't know where to start.

AstralSpace · 26/02/2024 07:42

I tick a lot of the boxes for adhd too and I find audiobooks, podcasts and radio really helpful to keep me going with the cleaning. Though it is a pretty involved and time consuming task to find what I'm actually interested in today Smile

YouTube is great for some audiobooks and old bbc dramas. Some of the spooky ones are fab. Podcasts are for when I'm wanting 'learning'. I love the well-being stuff, Exploring, civilisations and science stuff though other random stuff appeals too.

PoppingTomorrow · 26/02/2024 07:44

Check withcoachgrace on Instagram

ChanelNo19EDT · 26/02/2024 07:44

One thing that helped me was when my diet wasn't working at the beginning of 2023. So I had two choices. Keep going with no results, or give up. I decided to keep going. I viewed it as an experiment and an opportunity to "practice maintenance".. results were slow, the numbers went up, they went down, but..... by the end of the year, I'd lost 8.5 kilos. My slow slow slow results that left me feeling like my body was defying science finally responded to my "practicing maintenance".

I should apply this to sorting out my house.

hollyandivyknickers · 26/02/2024 07:48

The atomic habits book

the ‘streaks’ habit app

ReginaG · 26/02/2024 07:52

hollyandivyknickers · 26/02/2024 07:48

The atomic habits book

the ‘streaks’ habit app

Ugh I read that book and didn't like it at all. I think I'm broken 😭😂

OP posts:
RadiatorinAugust · 26/02/2024 07:54

ohpumpkinseeds · 26/02/2024 07:28

I'm like this, but it's because of having ADHD.

Same here!

ChanelNo19EDT · 26/02/2024 07:55

Is it because it was a bit laboured to spin an entire book out Build Big change out of small gradual changes?
I have avoided the book! I feel like I get it.

Downunderduchess · 26/02/2024 07:55

I can be like this. One thing I do to help myself is set a deadline that I have to meet, for example I booked a council pickup of big rubbish (household items etc.) and a charity pick up as well. The dates were set, so I had something to work towards. I used the days around Christmas & new year to gather everything I wanted to get rid of. If left to my own schedule I probably wouldn’t get it done.

I also write lists. And yes as others have said make things easy for yourself, I have vitamins on my desk I use at home. Things like that.

Socksbeforepants · 26/02/2024 07:57

I'm a lazy sod so I need something to distract me while I'm doing things.

I'm trying to walk more but I can't do it unless I've got something good to listen to on my headphones. I'm also trying to swim more but find it a million times harder to get motivated because I have more to get ready than just walking out the door and I can't listen to my music/audiobook in the pool.

If you have a pal to join you it helps.

OneMoreTime23 · 26/02/2024 07:57

ohpumpkinseeds · 26/02/2024 07:28

I'm like this, but it's because of having ADHD.

Same. Have to attach new routines to existing routines. Eg vitamins next to toothbrush to stand any chance of them sticking.

Cherryana · 26/02/2024 07:57

Procrastination is not the fear of failure it is the fear of feeling uncomfortable.

You could try to actively make it less uncomfortable and more connected to fun.

For exercise - if you can tap into a social element where you have booked/can’t easily cancel/there is a social connection component- that can help.

I am just the same, I think I have ADHD, but some of those tips have helped me out.

ChanelNo19EDT · 26/02/2024 07:58

Yeh I can go to pilates CLASSES 3 times a week but I cannot roll out the mat at home. cannot.

VenusClapTrap · 26/02/2024 08:04

Pretty normal I’d say. It’s just procrastination.

IncompleteSenten · 26/02/2024 08:12

My grandma used to roll her eyes and call it mañana.
🙄 mañana mañana always mañana.

Habitual procrastination ime tends to be one of two things

Fear of change / avoidance of pain. It's easier to stay with the familiar than change and/or go through the 'pain' of change eg stopping smoking, losing weight, etc.

Overwhelmed, don't know where to start and are paralysed as a result. When a task seems so hard eh hoarder level home, everywhere you look is chaos, it can feel impossible to choose a section to start with.

It's rarely just as simple as laziness.

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