Please tell me how to “gym”

[ElliottFromScrubs]

I am 40 this year. I hate almost everything about myself. I have two (gorgeous) children, they are 9 and 5. Two c sections, a nice dose of endometriosis (in my c section scar - so a lot of swelling), a stressful job and some good old fashioned over eating have left me in ruins, if I’m honest. I am asked if I am pregnant on a regular basis (I am not). I have pretty much no sex life (tired, kids hardly ever not here, and let’s face it I wouldn’t want to have sex with me).

I have joined a gym. I am so unfit and I hate exercise but my god, I can’t keep doing this. I need to change this. Did my induction and a PT that works there told me about cardio stuff so I can walk on treadmill (I seem to lack the coordination to run on it 🤷🏻‍♀️), bike, cross trainer etc. But I also want to do some weight/strength training but I don’t even know where to begin.

i hear of people who spend hours in the gym and I don’t get it. I do like ten mins on the cross trainer and then I wander aimlessly wondering what to go on next. Too intimidated (by the men and the mirrors) to use the weights when I don’t know what to do with them. I can’t afford a PT.

tried a couple of classes. Couldn’t keep up. Woman at the front screeching at me in the wee microphone. Nope.

can anyone give any tips to a complete and utter beginner (who is hindered by crippling self-loathing and anxiety).

Oh bless you, OP. I run/walk on the treadmill for 25 mins but going a tiny bit faster/further each time, do some fixed weight machines (ask staff to talk you through them) and then do a lucy wyndham read youtube standing abs workout on youtube but with 3kg weights pls some squats/russian twists/crunches at the end. Takes about anhour all in.

*social interaction 🙄

Honestly I'd ditch the gym for now and find a good friendly pilates instructor and do minimum two classes a week for a few months. If you build up your balance and core, the rest of it will seem so much easier. Alongside that, you could do some swimming. I found adult classes brilliant even if you can already swim because they give you structure and drills - and you have to go because you have signed up so there's a motivation element too.

Have some PT sessions OP.

I had my DS write me an arms and a leg day routine, I use YouTube videos to make sure I am doing the exercises correctly

Same here! Just Google women's basic dumbbell routine for beginners, OP. Three times a week I do 10 mins bike, 5 mins rowing, 5 mins treadmill, followed by ds' weights routine (different exercises on each day). I've only just started.

I used to feel so nervous going into the gym.. would walk around aimlessly and then do 5 mins here and there which obviously does nothing.

I decided to download some episodes of things (did modern family) to my phone and was determined that I would stay on a machine until an episode ended.

I did an episode on the treadmill walking on a speedy incline.

An episode on the bike making sure my heart rate was in the aerobic range.

An episode on the cross trainer keeping above ‘6.5’ speed (that might be crap, no idea! But made me out of breath!)

Then I walked around the weights machines and did every one that was free for three reps of 12.

I would then check how busy the pool was and if not busy would rush down and have some lovely laps (and I’m slow!) trying to beat the clock each time.

This may be rubbish, but it worked for me. This combined with a ‘diet’ led me to lose 100lbs in a year and a half. I actually became a bit obsessed and started to love going, I would go absolutely every day I could.

Also, I don't agree that you should ditch the gym. When I did weights some years ago, it made me feel great. It's simlle and effective, doesn't require coordination or bendiness. I like yoga, but it doesn't make me feel fit like weights and cardio.

My very basic gym routine is:

30 minutes on either treadmill, exercise bike, cross trainer or rowing machine. I listen to an interesting podcast on wireless headphones so I can move around freely but my mind is occupied. Otherwise I'd get bored. I view it as "me time".

I then do 30 minutes on the fixed weight machines. Look at YouTube videos or ask a member of staff to show you how to use them. In my gym they're less busy than the free weights area. I record how heavy my weights are each time so I can slowly increase the weight I'm lifting.

Are there any classes or group stuff? I've tried and failed gym lots, but this last time has stuck and I really love it this time. Pilates fours times, stretch class, swimming and incline walking on treadmill. Find something you like and stick to it. Ear buds in and off you go. No one cares what you look like as they are too busy worrying about what they look like and what other people are thinking.

@PawsisShady
I would be very interested in that free trial if you don't mind sending me the info.

Op I do weights at home with dumbbells I have been doing it since Xmas, last week I started on the treadmill (at home) and can already run 5k in 26 mins. Weights, even if only dumbbells, will def make you fit and strong no need to gym if you don't like it.

Of course, I'll ping it over now
You can't break anything on the app so just have a play around with it and you can sort easy to hard or filter by instructor etc

I have had 2 x c-sections too and 2 kids a little younger than yours. Nutrition is 80% of your body shape. Gym-wise get a PT for one session and write down what you do together of try an app to use in the gym - Body Coach or Get it Done

Get some gym wear that you feel OK in. Get good trainers that are very comfortable, with nice bouncy soles.
Get bluetooth earphones for your phone
Download your favourite TV show. Most US shows are about 43 minutes per episode. This is ideal.
Get on the treadmill, set the speed about 6, start your show. Over about 5-10 minutes, keep increasing the incline. Get it up to at least 12. Walk uphill until 5 minutes before the end of your show, at which point hit the cooldown button. This will gradually reduce the incline and slow the machine to a stop.

If you have time, follow this with weight training and then some gentle stretches. I would suggest investing in a few sessions with a nice PT to get a programme for this and to get familiar with how to do it so you can keep it going on your own.

I'd really appreciate this if you could pm me the link? Thank you!

@Batlady78 sent

I go to the gym very early, 5am, 3 times a week.

I booked one session with a PT to show me how to use the weights, the advice I was given was 3 on arms and 3 on legs, heavy enough that you can do 3 sets of 10 ten reps and no more, once that gets easy then up the weight. Do cardio after weights so you don’t use all your energy up first.

If you go on YouTube you can watch videos to give you ideas of what weights to do. The key is consistency and if you want to lose weight it’s diet rather than exercise that will make the difference.

I recommend finding yourself another gym. A small one, where you can join groups for training/a programme and the coaches get to know you, can explain everything to you and also tailor the exercises to your specific needs. Not the big chain gyms, where you are left to your own devices after the induction.

I have a personal trainer for 2 sessions a week. I don't have to think about anything just turn up and she tells me what to do. It's a small gym (I'm not a member of the gym I just pay her), there's usually no one there, my pt is not a gym bunny, she's been a trainer/run gyms her whole live, in her 50s and no crap from her. I used to feel intimidated on gyms/not have a clue what I was doing/loose motivation so quickly.

She's not very expensive but I only work part time and don't earn very much but I feel it's so so worth the money. I'd highly recommend getting a pt for a few weeks to show give you a plan

Find somewhere that does CrossFit.

Could I have the details too please?

I have bought gym workout posters from Amazon.

They have a poster for each type of exercise like free weights, kettle bells, Olympic bar workouts etc. Each poster shows you which exercises do each bit of your body.

You could buy some and photograph them and then follow those routines while you are in the gym.

They were called Poster Mate - Fit Mate, something like that. Have a look and see if you will give you an idea of what to do while you are in the gym.

Good luck.

There's no need to ditch the gym, particularly if you have already paid for the membership. If you start by doing some time on the bike/ cross trainer (slow at first to warm up, then working up a bit more of a sweat), then have a go with the weight machines (very difficult to get wrong, use low weights to get used to the movement) and do some stretches when you are done, that would be a great start.

Once you feel a bit more confident and have gained a little fitness, you can always try the classes again. But you can get a long way on gym equipment with a decent playlist.

Central Athlete on YouTube has really clear videos of different weight lifting exercises.

Rowing on a machine is a great cross between cardio and strength, as a transition. Get one of the trainers to show you the right technique though - your knees should not get in your way at any point! It works arms, legs, core, back, so it covers all the main muscle groups. Stroke rate about 26/min, focus on the power as you pull through

Machines are good to start with if you don't have much strength as they usually have a diagram of what to do, or at least a label of what they are, so you could Google how to use them. Plus, you're much less likely to injure yourself with bad form on a machine.

Dumbbells are your friend as well - start nice and light, so you won't hurt yourself, but the extra muscles you're using to create stability are helpful and will help you eventually transition to free weights.

I'd recommend leaving barbells for now until you have more strength and confidence, or until you can get a trainer to show you correct technique - certain things it's important to have the right form or you can damage yourself.

Aim for 3 sets of 8-12 reps for each exercise you do - but if you can't do that many, no worries, just do what you can. The last couple of each set should be a bit of a struggle, but achievable - that's how you calibrate it to be about the right weight for you.

I'd suggest picking 2 exercises from each of the 3 sections below (so 6 exercises total) per gym session. If that's too many, do what you can and build it up over time.

Some good things to start with:
Legs:
Squats with bodyweight, or a kettle bell if you can.
Lunges with bodyweight, or with dumbbells if you can (many variations, look some up!)
Hamstring curls
Leg extensions
Leg press
Hip abduction and hip adduction

Core:
Russian twists (can add a kettle bell as you progress)
Planks (front, side, walking, mountain climbers)
Hip thrusts (bodyweight, then kettle bell then barbell)
Pallof press
Leg raises.
Single or double kettle bell farmers walk

Arms:
Shoulder press
Lateral raise
Lat pulldown
Single or double arm rows with dumbbells
Tricep press
Chest press
Hammer (bicep) curl
Floor press
Arnold press

Good luck!
You'll likely find it hard to start with, but stick with it and you'll feel better and start seeing the gains pretty fast if you're consistent.

OP I have a show that I watch while I'm on the cross trainer. I won't let myself watch it any other time but then I end up doing 40+ mins on there to catch up. It's an easy way to get lost in the activity.

I always do cardio and upper body at the gym (core at home cos I'm still too embarrassed). I have a few different apps I use but I live FitOn and a kettle bell one (it's just called Kettle bell). I do a couple 10 min videos/routines, follow along with the app and blast 80s workout music.

I don't like going, but I book in, get changed and take pre workout half an hour before hand. Can't not go as I need to work off the pre workout!

I couldve written this myself re c section and weight gain.
I used to like the gym but can't be bothered. I need to do weights really so I plan on a PT for 6 sessions. Hopefully that'll give me the skills and motivation to keep going