Bittersweet inheritance and jealous friend.

[Proudwomantoday]

A couple of weeks ago I received a lot of money from my mums estate.
Mum had been ill for a few years before and at the end I wanted her to die,
She couldn't speak, walk, eat properly, double incontinent weighed less than 5 stone.
This friend new what I had gone through caring for mum.
I'm an only child and dad died in 2001.
Mum had a nice house which has now been sold.
Friend saw that the house was sold and asked outright what I'm going
to be doing with all that money I ignored the question. There was more money than the house.
Last night a few of us friends got together for a meal and a catch-up.
Everyone else was lovely but this one friend kept bugging me on what I ordered.
We all put in the same amount.
I ordered a small fish and chips - with your money you could get a large.
I was driving so had a lemonade and lime - you could buy a bottle of wine or even champagne.
Talking to another person about my new blouse - with your money you could shop in a better place.
I was waiting for her to say I should pay the whole bill.
Today the friend I was talking to about the blouse phoned me to check I was OK as she noticed what the other person was doing.
I don't want to fall out with her does she not realise I'd prefer to have mum back in full health than get this money.
Sorry this is so long and thank you for reading.

Ditch this person, they are no friend

I like the idea of quadrupling it. Or 10x. Or just plucking a number out of the air "well yes with the cash as well you can round it up to £10m but we all know that isn't actually that much these days. Can't see me shopping in Waitrose any time soon"

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last year, the end was pretty much the same, a total blessing, as he was so ill.
I am also due a large (ish) inheritance from dads estate.
I had a best friend who would have been exactly the same as the one you describe, except she totally ghosted me a few years ago after 20 years. She sent a condolence message when my dad died (spying on Facebook is the only way she'd have known!) I thanked her and that was the end of that. But I know for a fact, she will be kicking herself that she dumped me. She was all about the money and very jealous of anyone (including her sisters!) who had any. She basically rinsed any bloke she hooked up with before getting rid.
I'd suggest you back off from this particular friend and spend your money exactly as you wish, it's yours, not hers to suggest what you should or shouldn't do with it 💐

Some people are crass, some people are insensitive, and others are downright stupid. Turns out that the OP's so-called 'friend' is all three.

"Yeah I could shop at Harrods if I wanted to, but do you know the one thing I CANT do with my money? Get my beloved mother back. Now stop bringing it up as it is very upsetting for me".

Why don't you want to fall out with her? She doesn't sound very nice to be honest. Just tell her that you are grieving the loss of your mum and her constant comments about your inheritance are offensive and upsetting.

Sorry about the loss of your mom - it’s so hard and obviously you’d rather have her back than all the money in the world.
my husband died suddenly at work - his work had some sort of insurance and I had quite a substantial sum - I burst into tears when they told me - I just didn’t want it - I wanted him. I put it in the building society ( it’s all still there 10 years later- it will go to my sons ) - I just remember the bank clerk who knew how I had got it - going on - treat yourself get a new car or have a holiday . If I had that money I would go wild with it. People can be so insensitive or in your friends case - bloody damn obnoxious.
take care xx

I don't know how you kept it together to be honest.

How can anyone think like that never mind say it out loud repeatedly.

You wouldn't say 'hopefully your mum will die soon and then you can have a large chips'.

Why don’t you want to fall out with her, OP? She’s not your friend. Friends don’t do these sorts of things. She’s just someone in your circle.

Sorry for your loss. The end can be truly awful, sometimes

I would say something to her. I think it may significant that she lost her dad at the same time, she may be lashing out due to the circumstances around his death. Even if that is the case, she would still be very unreasonable to be taking it out on you.

Sorry for your loss.

Your chum is a nasty jealous bitch who resents you coming into money but wouldn't be adverse to accepting a handout.

Next time she says anything, reply "Oh didn't I tell you? I couldn't think of anyone deserving whom I could help, so I've given away all the money to a cat charity.'

She sounds awful and I suspect the next stage will be asking for a loan or suggesting something for you to do together and you pay. I would bluntly say to her - no amount of money will make up for the loss of my mother especially a large fucking fish and chips. She will either take offence in which case fuck her or she will be sorry as she didn't realise how insensitive she is being. I'm sorry for your loss.

"Well when your mum dies you'll be able to afford champagne too. Are you counting the days? I hope you and the money will be very happy together when it happens. Now STFU."

I inherited a huge amount of money (7 figures) when my DM died. I haven’t told anyone. She lived very frugally, and for some reason everyone thought her house was rented. We’re staying there at the moment, and everyone has been saying “so lucky you could take over the lease.” So I haven’t had any grabbing hands, thankfully. I’ve promised my cousins who were close to her, and a couple of her friends a piece of jewellery but that’s it.

Sorry for your loss I lost my dad last year and no kidding at his bloody wake one of my friends who’d come asked if I’d sell her his car cheap for her son (I detest driving so just don’t do it) I was bloody speechless!!

Please say that she isnt your friend anymore!

That is appalling!

I feel exactly the same, just does not feel like my money.

I am so sorry @Proudwomantoday your friend is being tactless at best or just awful at worst.

A lovely lady I worked with inherited some money after her Grandmother died.

Incredibly, one of her co-workers hinted very heavily that this lady could pay for a round of IVF “as it was so expensive” and that she could easily afford to pay for it!! I was 😮 when she told me!!
People are weird at times!

@Proudwomantoday I'm so sorry for your loss and the crassness of this so called friend.

Next time just say 'I gave a substantial amount to each of my closest friends'. That will make her think.

Thank you for all your messages and I'm so sorry to hear others have gone through the same situation.
The reason I don't want to fall out is I'm following my mums manta.
Keep your friends close and enemies closer.
It will craw her to be around me knowing I have this money.

Funnily enough I haven’t heard from her since the funeral….. she does have form for asking to borrow significant amounts of money though so glad she’s backed off as it makes me feel really uncomfortable!

Shortly after my parents died (both in their early 60’s) a (now ex) friend told me I was ‘lucky’. She’s a very materialistic person who doesn’t have a good relationship with her own parents so I suppose she would view my situation as fortunate when it was anything but.