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Original poster

Am I supposed to take a present and card to a Bridal Shower?

34 replies

MrsCarson · 20/02/2024 10:50

I have no clue, first UK wedding for our family, all the women on my side are invited to an afternoon to meet all the brides side and friends. I'll get a card, but what about a present?

OP posts:
PossumintheHouse · 20/02/2024 10:53

I honestly don’t understand the point of a bridal shower, and they aren’t particularly common in the UK.
A card and a small gift. I’d probably take some flowers.

barkymcbark · 20/02/2024 10:57

What's a bridal shower? Isn't it a hen do?

Anyway if it is a hen do, then no, in don't think it's expected. Maybe a nice bottle of something fizzy would be appreciated

PossumintheHouse · 20/02/2024 11:05

barkymcbark · 20/02/2024 10:57

What's a bridal shower? Isn't it a hen do?

Anyway if it is a hen do, then no, in don't think it's expected. Maybe a nice bottle of something fizzy would be appreciated

It’s a fairly wanky meet-up of all of the brides friends and family prior to the hen do/wedding. Basically an excuse for the bride to bathe in attention and grab some gifts.

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Moveoverdarlin · 20/02/2024 11:07

I’ve only been to UK weddings and never been to a bridal shower. No clue. I’d probably take a nice bunch of white tulips and a bottle of Prosecco. If you buy the couple a wedding present surely you don’t have to buy the bride a present too?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/02/2024 11:14

Is this an Asian wedding you are going to ?

as I remember many many many years ago being invited to the bride's home ( she lived with her parents ) - I didn't know the bride as such it was her husband to be that I knew, tho I knew other females that would be present i.e. other female friends of the groom to be ( we were all at Uni together )

I took flowers ( as I would if I was going to someone's home ) but def not alcohol as that wouldn't have been wanted / appreciated.

mindutopia · 20/02/2024 11:19

I had a 'bridal shower' as it's more typical in the culture I grew up in. It was an afternoon BBQ at my family home. I didn't have a hen do. I don't know what's the norm for other people or what people would expect in the UK, but no one brought me any gifts and I didn't expect any.

Wordless · 20/02/2024 11:25

My understanding (which happens to coincide with Google’s) is that the word ‘shower’ means a shower of gifts.

The point of a baby shower is for people to give the about-to-be-new-mother gifts.

So I’d assume the same for a bridal shower.

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 20/02/2024 11:31

Another wank American tradition that's slid over here.
Yep, take a present, that's what it's all about, it's another excuse to "shower" the bride with gifts.
If I were you I'd team up with some other guests and get a voucher for a spa / massage etc then hopefully you won't have to put too much money in (& won't look cheap).
My dd is having a Baby Shower (this is a thing apparently) another wank tradition from across the pond.
I'm organising it and as I've never been to one it's partially stressful.
All her friends have had them so dd has been to a few and has lots of ideas thankfully

user1471505356 · 20/02/2024 11:32

In Ireland it is usual to have a showing of the presents before the wedding possibly this is a Bridal Party.

SirChenjins · 20/02/2024 11:33

Oh god, is this a new thing coming to the UK? Sounds like you’re supposed to take a gift, yes. I take it you’ve been invited to the wedding and/or reception?

ifonly4 · 20/02/2024 11:56

Never heard of a bridal shower! If it's a hen do, then no. However, a bridal shower sounds like an excuse for the bride to receive gifts, not a weekend, day or evening out with the bride before she marries.

OddityOddityOdd · 20/02/2024 11:59

Yet another ridiculous greedy concoction of entitlement. Give it a miss , I thought that's what the wedding was for.

Candleabra · 20/02/2024 12:04

Another opportunity for greedy gift grabbing.

IDoLikeToBeByTheSea · 20/02/2024 12:10

I wouldn’t take a gift. There seems to be a rising trend in engagement parties, bridal shower, hen do then the wedding. I’m not spending money on gift grabbing non events (bar the wedding).
I bet we will start seeing more American traditions over here when it comes to having children- gender/sex reveal, baby shower, ‘baby look-see’ after the birth etc etc.

Overtheatlantic · 20/02/2024 12:13

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fatphalange · 20/02/2024 12:14

The point is to give gifts, IF she's calling it a shower. I wouldn't go- fuck that

MacaroonMacaron · 20/02/2024 12:16

A long time ago in Scotland these happened all the times and were called a "show of presents". The bride would invite family, friends, and neighbours to her house on an afternoon before the wedding and all the gifts she had been given would be on display, usually on the bed in the spare room. You'd ooh and aaah over the towels, toasters and canteens of cutlery, the bride's mum would give you a cup of tea and a wee scone, you'd have a chat and go home.

You didn't take a gift with you as the gifts were there already.

TiptopTommy · 20/02/2024 12:17

I would assume that she is expecting gifts if she’s calling it a shower. I’d be busy that day, weddings are expensive enough to attend without adding in an additional gift.

ColleenDonaghy · 20/02/2024 12:20

Pretty common in the UK and Ireland to have a main hen party with friends and then a smaller afternoon tea or similar with the mums, aunties etc. Is that what this is?

I'd bring a token that won't look out of place regardless of whether others bring something - the prosecco and tulips suggestion is a good one.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 20/02/2024 12:23

It sounds rather vulgar

daretodenim · 20/02/2024 12:24

MacaroonMacaron · 20/02/2024 12:16

A long time ago in Scotland these happened all the times and were called a "show of presents". The bride would invite family, friends, and neighbours to her house on an afternoon before the wedding and all the gifts she had been given would be on display, usually on the bed in the spare room. You'd ooh and aaah over the towels, toasters and canteens of cutlery, the bride's mum would give you a cup of tea and a wee scone, you'd have a chat and go home.

You didn't take a gift with you as the gifts were there already.

This is what I remember.

But that was when a bride would enter a marriage with a trousseau.

Now it's about social media moments, basking in attention and gifts.

If you go bring a bottle of Prosecco. Not an especially expensive one. Get it gift wrapped. I think if you go empty-handed you'll maybe feel uncomfortable if nobody else is.

I'd be inclined to be busy though, especially if there's also going to be a hen-do - although if the hen do is going to be extravagant, it may be cheaper to go to the bridal shower!

SageRosemary · 20/02/2024 13:00

user1471505356 · 20/02/2024 11:32

In Ireland it is usual to have a showing of the presents before the wedding possibly this is a Bridal Party.

Not in this millennium!

Redglitter · 20/02/2024 13:15

At most I'd take a bottle of Prosecco. A shower smacks of being really grabby. People have enough expense at weddings without adding another completely un necessary one

Lifebeganat50 · 20/02/2024 13:16

user1471505356 · 20/02/2024 11:32

In Ireland it is usual to have a showing of the presents before the wedding possibly this is a Bridal Party.

This is what this sounds like to me…I was a 1990s bride and it’s what we did

Kelvinator1 · 20/02/2024 13:19

I've been to a few (not in the UK). Sometimes called a kitchen tea, kinda old fashioned now but yes definately a gift for the new marital home - indoor plant is my go-to gift

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