Liar

[Bestdressed]

Would you stay with a boyfriend if you knew he told trivial lies to you …my partner told me he hasn’t had a bet for 8 weeks I know for sure it’s been 2 days we don’t live together am I over thinking been together 14 years

It would worry me that he couldn’t be honest about it and would worry me that he’s leading to a gambling habit.

He does have a problem that’s one reason we don’t live together I know he is telling lies about gambling for sure but is it my business what he does with his money

I refuse to have his money to look after in my bank now as he says can I have 100 to buy clothes I know he gambles it and no clothes come he thinks I’m stupid I said be honest when did you last gamble 8 weeks ago he says ..LIAR I know for a fact

Addicts lie about their addiction-related behaviour. If you’ve chosen to stay in a relationship with an addict then ultimately you can’t do anything except accept that, make your peace with it, and do damage limitation so you’re minimally affected.

Hiddenvoice· Today 15:30

It would worry me that he couldn’t be honest about it and would worry me that he’s leading to a gambling habit.

Just entirely.

Why are you still with a dishonest, degenerate gambler, Bestdressed ?

I know I know but to be honest I want to be able to grow old living with someone I know we can never live together again I’m not sure what to do other than this we are ok but it makes me feel stupid he under estimates my intelligence…I have to be honest I went through his phone to prove to myself he was lying and I don’t mind telling him that but he has said many times go through my phone not realising I do

We have been together 14 years it’s hard

I know I deserve better

We have been together 14 years it’s hard

Oh dear. Has he any redeeming features? Letting you go through his phone, in the knowledge that the evidence is in it is insulting and belittling, to my mind. He's lying to your face and even if he doesn't know you've seen, he must realise that there's a chance you will.

He doesn’t know I have seen him put his pass code in so he wouldn’t realise I can get into his phone it’s horrible that I ask and he lies it makes me feel belittles and stupid but I am in fact one step ahead

Lying about a potential addiction isn't trivial, js it?

He’s very giving but I hate a liar

I wouldn't stay with someone who lies and gambles, no. Your whole life will be filled with stress.

We don’t live together so I don’t have to deal with it it’s not really my business the fact is he bare-face lies to me

If you cannot trust him there's no point in continuing the relationship.

I know that if I’m honest with myself I’m 57 now still attractive but still feel like I wouldn’t find someone to grow old with I’m scared

He lies to you because he thinks you’ll disapprove?

But according to you his finances are something that doesn’t interest you because you don’t live together

So what is the truth?

It’s not my business but like I said I want to live with someone and grow old with them but I don’t want to be lied too

I would disapprove but he doesn’t have to lie

Don't settle for second best.

You're better off growing old alone than dealing with this.

Is truthfulness/honesty an important value that a friend or partner should have? If the answer is yes then he is not the man for you.

I would hate to be lied to like that. What else is he lying about? He can't be trusted. He has prioritised his addiction over honesty in your relationship. You don't live together so after 14 years, get some standards and find better. Even being alone would be better than a gambling liar to me.

Appreciate your reply I truly need to sort my life out I’m 57 …exactly what else does he lie about he’s don’t some shocking things to me over the years

Plus he won’t let me just walk away from him

How does he stop you?

I was just about to reply but then I saw your last update and really, nothing is as important as this. How would he stop you leaving, what does he do? Nobody should feel trapped in a relationship ever, for any reason. There is support out there, but I appreciate you probably feel very scared.