Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you expect a coach put on from church- reception venue if it was 20 mins?

59 replies

prettyfloralsocks · 17/02/2024 15:07

Mum is stressing me out- says we must have a coach going to venue and back to a drop off point at night. I've been to 3 or 4 weddings recently and only the one with more than an hour's drive had a coach.

However we aren't getting married in a hotel so people will need to get home at the end of the night.

What would you expect x

OP posts:
WombatChocolate · 17/02/2024 16:12

I think you provide the venue and make sure food and drink is available. Guests are adults who are perfectly capable of sorting out their own transport. They can drive, get taxis, lift share…whatever they like. Your responsibility is t them getting there or getting home, or between venues if the distance isn’t daft.

Increasingly, people seem to want to take responsibility for more and more elements if the guests’ day beyond the ceremony and reception itself. Some want to provide accommodation for all, or not just a meal and maybe an evening buffet, but also midnight butties or other stuff.

There is no need for a coach.

I suspect those who are into this kind of thing are wanting a massive booze up or see a wedding reception as this kind of thing. I suppose some weddings are like that with no-one able to drive at the end of the night and wanting some kind of school-bus type transport.

There is hosting a nice event for everyone to come and celebrate your wedding and then there is arranging a bender for a mass load of people.

Don’t give headspace to the people who tell you ‘you must have…’ a Photo Booth, a flower wall, canapés at 3 points in the day, a harpist, 3 meals, a free bar, etc etc. Unless you are lacking in any confidence and need self-validation from providing this stuff, know being with you on your big day, and providing a venue with food and drink available is perfectly enough to give people a great day. Less is often more. Weddings with zillions of entertainments and ‘features’ start to look like a student party event, not a wedding. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but know that you can choose what you have and what you like and fits your budget. There really is no ‘you must have…’

Donoteven · 17/02/2024 16:15

I'd do a coach. Multiple taxis will cost people a fortune and cannot be relied upon to come so people order them early and worry about getting home. A coach also had the added benefit of making getting home free for them. I tried not to make my wedding too expensive for others.

crumblingschools · 17/02/2024 16:20

How do people get home if you put on a coach?

Only wedding I have been to where transport was provided was where the reception was in the middle of nowhere and they put on a minibus from church to and from venue for people staying in a hotel near the church. But people not staying at the hotel had to make their own way

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
FabFebHalfTerm · 17/02/2024 16:20

prettyfloralsocks · 17/02/2024 15:23

There's a very small car park and drop off zone at the front, then a larger carpark about a five minutes walk away.

@prettyfloralsocks

there are too many variables. If people are walking to the church & walking home after then maybe. If most will be coming by car, then no.

why does your mum think it's necessary, why does she think they can't just drive themselves there?

sunshineandshowers40 · 17/02/2024 16:28

I have never been on a coach from the church to reception. Ours was 40 mins away and everyone drove (reception was between where we were both from).

WhatNoRaisins · 17/02/2024 16:29

I've never been to a wedding with a coach laid on. In my experience most people do taxis or drive if necessary.

Akire · 17/02/2024 16:36

No need for a coach at all. Most people will club together as friends or family and arrange someone to be the driver or to take and collect them. What good is a coach dropping them all back at the church at 2am? They then hang around in the cold waiting for taxis? Better to drive themselves to church then to reception and if needed get a taxi home and come back the next day to pick up the car instead.

You will try and do a good thing by paying £££ for the coach. Then people bound to slag you off saying if she can afford to pay one way why can’t she pay to take us home. That’s what people are like. Do something nice and they want more!

AinsleyHayes · 17/02/2024 16:39

I disagree with your mum. Coach only necessary if reception is significantly far from the church and / or very rural. It sounds like most guests will be heading home and presumably the museum is in a town or city with easy access to taxis.

SmashedPrawnsInAMilkyBasket · 17/02/2024 16:41

WombatChocolate · 17/02/2024 16:12

I think you provide the venue and make sure food and drink is available. Guests are adults who are perfectly capable of sorting out their own transport. They can drive, get taxis, lift share…whatever they like. Your responsibility is t them getting there or getting home, or between venues if the distance isn’t daft.

Increasingly, people seem to want to take responsibility for more and more elements if the guests’ day beyond the ceremony and reception itself. Some want to provide accommodation for all, or not just a meal and maybe an evening buffet, but also midnight butties or other stuff.

There is no need for a coach.

I suspect those who are into this kind of thing are wanting a massive booze up or see a wedding reception as this kind of thing. I suppose some weddings are like that with no-one able to drive at the end of the night and wanting some kind of school-bus type transport.

There is hosting a nice event for everyone to come and celebrate your wedding and then there is arranging a bender for a mass load of people.

Don’t give headspace to the people who tell you ‘you must have…’ a Photo Booth, a flower wall, canapés at 3 points in the day, a harpist, 3 meals, a free bar, etc etc. Unless you are lacking in any confidence and need self-validation from providing this stuff, know being with you on your big day, and providing a venue with food and drink available is perfectly enough to give people a great day. Less is often more. Weddings with zillions of entertainments and ‘features’ start to look like a student party event, not a wedding. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but know that you can choose what you have and what you like and fits your budget. There really is no ‘you must have…’

It’s fine not to be bothered about how people will get around if there are multiple options and easy parking. But even if nobody drinks, there are big challenges in some places. In my neck of the woods there are two taxis in the town (two actual cars, not two firms) and to get anywhere you need a car. Those cars need to be accommodated easily, or people will be late or have to leave early. The last wedding which I went to in our church (no parking, public car park close by) and with a reception venue 20 minutes away (small private car park for about 8 cars, edge of town, 15 minute walk to the nearest available public car park) was a disaster in terms of people arriving late, leaving the church early to get out and get a space at the venue, not being able to park, holding up the photos etc, and that was even with a small vintage bus taking the core wedding party between venues.

TheSnowyOwl · 17/02/2024 16:53

I think a lot of people will drive to the wedding and be sober, so happy to drive to the reception and then collect their car the following day (or not drink so they can drive home).

Leaving a car by the wedding venue might not be as secure or convenient, and people will presumably either have to go back there to collect it the following day or else get a taxi in the first place.

asdunno · 17/02/2024 16:53

I did ours was about 40 min away.

ColleenDonaghy · 17/02/2024 17:02

Never been at a wedding with transport organised. Honestly, don't take it on - we got married abroad and organised buses to meet the various flights, as well as on the day of the wedding and it was a complete pain in the arse. Buses didn't turn up, people didn't turn up.

No one will expect it and you'll regret it.

GlasgowGal82 · 17/02/2024 17:13

We had a coach from where my parents live to the wedding venue (about 20 miles) and from the hotel where my husband's family were staying (about 3 miles) at the start of the day. We had a coach home for the longer journey and a fleet of taxis for the shorter journey. Parents insisted and also paid for it from what I remember. I think it's quite an old school thing to do.

bigTillyMint · 17/02/2024 17:16

All recent family weddings have involved coaches/minibuses to pick up and drop off from where people were staying. And between church/reception.

We all contributed to the cost as otherwise we would have been paying for taxis (and there aren’t many out in the countryside!) - woii I lx this be a possibility?

DontForgetWhereYouCameFrom · 17/02/2024 17:41

I suspect those who are into this kind of thing are wanting a massive booze up or see a wedding reception as this kind of thing

Nope. I just wanted life to be as easy as it possibly could be for my guests, who were already making a huge effort/expense in being there.

MargaretThursday · 17/02/2024 17:44

Only time there was coach provided at any wedding I went to was centre of Oxford wedding (no cars in central Oxford) and a venue outside Oxford about 20 minutes away. A lot of the guests were students with no cars.

Georgyporky · 17/02/2024 17:58

No coach. They'll have to drive - which will reduce the bar bill !

caringcarer · 17/02/2024 18:00

I paid for a coach from the Wedding venue to the reception venue and it returned at midnight to take guests back to town after reception. Some guests stayed at the reception venue others stayed in a nearby town. I didn't want guests not being able to drink as they had to drive or be unable to get a taxi so put on the coach. I noticed more elderly guests made use of it.

Cameraclick · 17/02/2024 18:02

Not at all. No one’s had a drink at the church so can drive to reception venue

ToothFairy2023 · 17/02/2024 18:08

I would say yes to a coach if you want people to have a drink, relax and enjoy themselves but it maybe depends on your view point and the geography of the area where you live etc.

Pacifybull · 17/02/2024 18:13

The last few weddings I’ve been to had coaches. Most people didn’t have cars - most came from abroad. The wedding was in a city centre church with the reception some distance away in the countryside.

minipie · 17/02/2024 18:19

Just thinking back to weddings I have been to over the years

I have always got a taxi to the wedding from our accommodation and back at the end of the night. Because I wanted to be able to drink (and so did DH if attending with me).

If the venues were 20 min apart I’d need to book a 3rd taxi between the two. No biggie but a bit of a pain and some cab firms might not be interested in a booking for a 5 minute journey.

I don’t agree with “your only responsibility is to lay on a venue food and drink”. If you’ve chosen 2 different venues then I do think you have to think about how guests are going to get between them. If there is easy parking, public transport, or plenty of taxis readily available then fine. If it’s not easy then get a coach.

Actually whenever I’ve been to a two-venue wedding they were either walking distance or transport provided - contrary to some pp. A wedding bus is great fun.

crumblingschools · 17/02/2024 18:19

In the OP’s case where there aren’t specified hotels where guests are staying where is the coach going to drop them off after the reception? If the coach is going to drop them off at a car park it isn’t going to help people who want to drink

43ontherocksporfavor · 17/02/2024 18:22

People expect to drive if outside major cities I would think .My reception venue was across town from church and people got there by car or shared cars. If you put a coach on that’s great but they still have to get to wedding venue.Does your mum think a coach should pick them all up?? On the flip side, a coach would ensure everyone’s arrival on time.

Caffeineislife · 17/02/2024 18:23

It depends on parking at the museum and where your reception venue is and ease of getting taxis in that area. I personally did coach from church to reception venue then mini bus to the 2 bnbs that my guests were staying in and drop off for family. My venue was in the sticks though. I had a lot of non drivers at my wedding, family who liked a drink and almost all the attendees either lived in the local town or were staying at the 2 bnbs also in the town. I did a deal with a local bus company so it was £50 for the hour under 50 miles. Extra miles were charged extra. As my venue was 3 miles away and 5 mins drive from the local town we were able to do that easily. I put on the invite and on the tables, complimentary bus at 11.15 to bnbs and pre arranged stops (top of roads). Everyone got on the bus and it was so easy.

If there are loads of taxis about, it's easy to get to and lots of parking then no you don't need a coach. If you are in the sticks, it's expensive or hard to park, the taxi services are shite after 8pm at night then you may want to find a coach.