What is your guiding 'principle'?

[cowonthecommon]

I've often heard that having a guiding principle brings purpose and satisfaction in life. Something - a firmly held value - you live by and stick to. Something to sort of 'organise' everything in your life around, which guides you.

Feel in a bit of a slump.

Just asking, what is your 'guiding principle', if you have one? Maybe I just don't know what mine is.

Does it have to be lofty and ethics-based or can you be guided by something more simple, like the need to be organised and have things in order? If anything, that would be mine but is that a little without substance and meaningless?

"Don't ask for trouble"

Just because he’s good for your hole does not mean that he’s good for your soul.

Awfully sorry

I guess that most people are doing their best with what’s available to them

Do the next right thing.

Don't be a dick

Do the next right thing.

Same.

Do the best for my children within lifes limitations.
Ie I can't give them everything (not a multi millionaire unfortunately) but I give them everything I can.

@WhatsInANameDearBethany that made me laugh.

Love is more important than money

This is so true and it is not said often enough or loudly enough. I know so many people who are deeply unhappy when they could be perfectly content with what they have and are. But this culture of more-more-more creates self-judgement and dissatisfaction.

Another one I try to live by is - you can't control what happens, but you can control how you react to it. I know some people interpret this as an injunction to be happy all the time and look on the bright side, but I see it as a nudge to be nice to myself when times are tough, to think like @ComtesseDeSpair when that helps, to not waste time fretting over things that are out of my power, even to choose to express appropriate anger, or to withdraw from situations that can't be improved.

@AmaryllisChorus "But this culture of more-more-more creates self-judgement and dissatisfaction".

So true, and rooted in rampant capitalism - and hence consumerism. For instance, advertisers have to convince us that a need exists in us in order to persuade us to buy a particular thing to satisfy it.

As a woman, I find it particularly interesting to note that the beauty industry overwhelmingly deploys soulful and spiritual concepts to convince us of a lack and sell to us: "radiance", "worth" "miracle". I am sure this is all subconsciously so damaging.

For me, it's to have the freedom of choice.

Which has materialised through my financial independence, marrying a man for love and not provision, being privileged to make decisions in life and not have restrictions or conditions placed on me from others.

I was raised in an emotionally and financially abusive relationship between my parents. My mother couldn't leave etc etc, she eventually did when we'd all grown up. I resolved to not be like her, but as I matured I realised that's not what I meant, my mother is amazing. But I mean to have freedom of choice, to not have to stay like she did.

This made me laugh out loud 😂😂😂😂

This is indeed the truth.

Soon we'll be dead and none of this will matter.

Don’t be a a dick and when others around me are behaving badly, stay true to my values and don’t mirror theirs.

(following a year of workplace bullying in proud I stayed true to who I am… the truth has come out naturally and witnesses made their decision to support me without me asking for it.)

Do what you say you will

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

We are all human.
Also treat others how you wish to be treated, and never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins.

I'd rather have "ducks was a kind person" than "ducks was a highly successful person" at my funeral

I say what I mean & I mean what I say.

That it's ok to be [just] ok. Millions of people all over the country are in their homes tonight [just] being ok. They aren't trailblazing, nor are they failing at all, they're just being ok - the bills are paid, it's a fortnight to payday, there's a chance of a little holiday in the summer, the car scraped through its MOT only needing 1 tyre and some brake pads this year, and Papa Joe's pizza have a deal on for dinner tomorrow night. It's ok to be ok.

A friend of mine convinced me to look at my core values and it’s really helped. Type in core values in Google and there will be a list. Write down the ones that resonate with you after saying “I value…”. Then cut them down to 3-5 and they are your core values.

Can be things like honesty, order, hard work, family, achievement

I am not especially religious, but the other day was looking up the musician Sufjan Stevens and he had posted on Instagram about his partner's death, ending with the words 'This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.' I thought that that kind of guiding principle must be such a comfort and an anchor at such a painful time. Those words (and the hymn!) have been ringing in my mind ever since. True faith must be wonderful, but I reckon pretty rare. Maybe working towards faith in something/anything, even if it is yourself, is almost as good.

Try to do things which will leave the world a little bit better in some way or other than it was before.

And follow your interests, but don't get too stuck to your plans.

Start Where You Are. Use What You Have. Do What You Can.

reminds me to just get started with whatever it is. Do a little bit with what I have and the rest will usually follow.