What is your guiding 'principle'?

[cowonthecommon]

I've often heard that having a guiding principle brings purpose and satisfaction in life. Something - a firmly held value - you live by and stick to. Something to sort of 'organise' everything in your life around, which guides you.

Feel in a bit of a slump.

Just asking, what is your 'guiding principle', if you have one? Maybe I just don't know what mine is.

Does it have to be lofty and ethics-based or can you be guided by something more simple, like the need to be organised and have things in order? If anything, that would be mine but is that a little without substance and meaningless?

Just fucking do it. If you can. If you can't, or you can't be arsed, then just fucking don't do it but don't whinge about it.

Allow yourself to be yourself and accept all your idiosyncrasies. I've spent too long focused on what I think I 'ought' to be rather than focused on who I really am. Liberating to have stopped putting so much pressure on myself to 'be perfect'

I just try to always do what I think is right, even if it is harder for me or gains me nothing. Not in a ‘I’m such a martyr’ way either. If I can make someone’s day better by saying thanks to the bus driver, or have a lovely day to a shop worker, then I’m very happy to. Which I suppose is a gain for me actually. Oh well!

That and be yourself - not the version of you that you think anybody else wants, just be you.

This is a nice question. I'm religious so that kind of comes with its own guiding principles but maybe it's transferable. Mostly I remind myself not to do things because of or worry about what other people think. And don't hesitate in doing the right thing. And don't prioritise financial or worldly gain.

Be kind but don’t take any shit.

Try to bring a net benefit to people around me/ society in general.

Be as happy as I can be.

That we are just insignificant and momentary clumps of cells on a tiny planet in an infinitesimal universe.

It puts most things into perspective.

Actually I have a few really simple rules I try to live by:

Pick your battles
Do your best
Be polite
Don’t be envious of other people
Be tolerant
Take pleasure in little things.

most of all - be mindful; live in the moment.

Grateful for today.

I’m late thirties and so many of my peers are having horrible things happen to them. Miscarriage, still birth, loss of a parent, cancer diagnosis, redundancy etc. As of now, nothing truly awful has happened to me. I know that one day people will be talking about me and something horrible that has gone on - but that day is not today, and every day that applies to is a day I’m grateful for.

Is this the hill you wish to die on?

I say it so often, my kids swear my headstone will read "this is the hill she died on"

Gratitude to a higher power
and
Look after myself so that I am able to look after others (family, work colleagues, patients)

I used to just do the gratitude and looking after others but learned that we need to look after ourselves first. Once I prioritised myself I found others began to respect me. It was a shock.

I am happy and getting happier every day. 52 years old and doing a Masters (through work) while working full time.

Great post thank you and I hope you uncover your guiding principles. I remember doing this when reading the 7 Habits and it was really helpful, in fact a paradigm shift for me.

You can't control other people, but you can control your own reactions.
One of the strong messages in 'Illusions' by Richard Bach.

Never a lender or borrower be.

Do as you would be done by.

Be Kind, Have Fun - courtesy of John Finnemore

(short video link below)

Do Less. Do It Well.

The most important things are to love and be loved.

Practice gratitude.

Try to make others feel good not bad.

Humans are part of nature, we are not as far removed from the natural world as we often contrive to be. Take time to absorb and enjoy fauna and flora, the landscape and the skyscape. It's clichéd, but I always look for the moon, just to notice her.

The Holy Trinity

Treat others as you'd want to be treated yourself

Connect with nature

I try for it to be kindness... don't always succeed... but I try

I am religious and my faith and spirituality help me orientate myself to the world.

Most people will treat you as badly as you allow them to, so don't allow them to.

I like what I like and I won't deny that just because you think it isn't 'cool'

“Never attribute to conspiracy what can be adequately explained as a cock up”

and

”When they go low, we go high”

I’m told I’m a happy optimist by most people around me and, to my mind, that’s a good thing to be.

You have won if your eyebrows are done.

In this family we reward effort not achievement

Just to be as decent a person as possible. Accept that sometimes you will mess up, forgive yourself, move on and do better next time.