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Original poster

Does anyone else feel guilty about retiring early?

54 replies

RetireEarly · 14/02/2024 19:40

I have retired at 59. Hubby is 58 and is still at work (intends to work until age 70). DH was happy for me to retire as he knew I wasn't enjoying my job. DH enjoys his job, so happy to carry on working.
I can't help feeling guilty while DH is still working like a trojan and I am floating about doing lunches and hobbies. I also feel guilty about letting down my former team, who were very short staffed.

I have started two days a week in a volunteer role, which does feel like working in one way.

Can anyone else relate to this sense of guilt for retiring early or is it just me?

OP posts:
Veronicaisaflower · 14/02/2024 19:41

Fuck right off with your humblebrag 😅.

HeddaGarbled · 14/02/2024 19:43

Nope ☕️ 🧘‍♂️ 📚 🚢

ViciousCurrentBun · 14/02/2024 19:49

I retired early and DH will be a few years behind me as he is younger.

I don’t feel guilty, we still share chores but I have taken on the bulk for the first time in 27 years as I have the time, it’s made his life much easier and he has told me so. I also draw my pension.

I do two voluntary jobs and enjoy both. My week consists of these two jobs plus my hiking group and U3a and some lunches out.

NewName24 · 14/02/2024 19:50

Nope.
I'm finishing this year.
dh is likely to keep working for another 15 years.
I have NO guilt feelings.
I am doing what I want to do and he is doing what he wants to do.

It is my serious saving (working 3 jobs in the 80s) to get a deposit together for my first flat, then letting out a room to a lodger to pay the mortgage; my financial management; my choosing to not spend on thing I feel I don't need, in order to over pay the mortgage for years; that have got us to the financial position that means I can afford to retire and choose how I spend my days now, in my 60s.
What do I have to feel guilty about ?

ifonly4 · 14/02/2024 19:53

Life is for living, OP. If it's right for you, enjoy yourself.

It's the other way around here, DH (59) decided to retire for his own long term well being. Admittedly, it's only part-time, but I'm still working - I'm happy to do so and we're happy.

reesewithoutaspoon · 14/02/2024 19:57

Not for a single minute

user1496146479 · 14/02/2024 19:58

I'm planning to retire at 50! Kids will still be teens! No guilt planned!

ChristmasGutPunch · 14/02/2024 19:59

My husband is likely to die considerably before the state retirement age but at the moment we still both have to work to cover for the future. I say seize the day if you can. It's a rare person who loves their job so much they want to do it until their last day on earth.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2024 20:00

Crikey, I wouldn't consider 59 early. You e find your time. I'm gonna be thinking about it when I get to 50.

Quizine · 14/02/2024 20:00

As above, not for a single second. And I went at 57 oh ye Gods!

I love the freedom of life now, it's indulgent compared to many but why be guilty. I will not be made feel anything but delirious by the Puritans around here.

LakeTiticaca · 14/02/2024 20:00

No. Started work age 13. Had enough after 50 years.
I miss (some of) my workmates though

ageingdisgracefully · 14/02/2024 20:03

Yes. I'm not retired officially, just haven't worked for 2 years. I feel guilty but I don't know why really. I've paid off a mortgage and have some savings, but I don't feel quite right about wafting about the shops of a day. No grandkids either. Must be some Protestant work ethic thing.

I'm 64. Most of my friends retired at 55.

LindorDoubleChoc · 14/02/2024 20:04

Lovely if you can afford it (and if you aren't feeling lost at the idea of not having a job to go to).

To the pps on this thread expecting to retire at 50 - you must have massive salaries, family wealth or public sector pensions behind you? The current state retirement age is 67 and both dh and I (61 and 59) expect to be working up to that point and, for me at least, hopefully beyond.

LindorDoubleChoc · 14/02/2024 20:06

ageingdisgracefully · 14/02/2024 20:03

Yes. I'm not retired officially, just haven't worked for 2 years. I feel guilty but I don't know why really. I've paid off a mortgage and have some savings, but I don't feel quite right about wafting about the shops of a day. No grandkids either. Must be some Protestant work ethic thing.

I'm 64. Most of my friends retired at 55.

How did most of your friends retire at 55? Do they all work for the police or fire brigade? Or are they just filthy rich?

ageingdisgracefully · 14/02/2024 20:16

@LindorDoubleChoc they were teachers, mainly. Another went very part time - she was a nurse. My own parents both retired at 55 (local goverment) albeit many moons ago.

Raera · 14/02/2024 20:18

We retired together, me 59 DH 60. We had a few years of not much money waiting for pensions to drop but the best thing we ever did. However we do enjoy each others company a lot and we both have challenging voluntary roles.
No guilt here, we hated our jobs.

Tel12 · 14/02/2024 20:20

Good grief no. Started working at 10 so I was well and truly done!

BeaRF75 · 14/02/2024 20:22

Absolutely not. Husband retired at 56. I'm working PT but will stop at 60. We have both given decades of hard work in the public and voluntary sectors - we've earned it. Yes, we are lucky, but so many people we know didn't even live to retirement, so we're determined to make the best of what we have while we can.

Parky04 · 14/02/2024 20:24

I retired at 49. I do a few odd jobs. Stewarding at football, exam invigilation, volunteering a few times a week driving people to GP/hospital appointments. OH works 3 days a week. No guilty feelings here!

Sunnnybunny72 · 14/02/2024 20:28

I am going at 55. 37 in the NHS will be more than enough for me. Many of my colleagues are planning or have already done the same.

daffodilandtulip · 14/02/2024 20:34

I'm single and plan to retire at 60/62 depending on how I feel. My friend constantly makes a point about still having ten years left on their very expensive mortgage by then.

I do not feel guilty.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2024 20:35

LindorDoubleChoc · 14/02/2024 20:04

Lovely if you can afford it (and if you aren't feeling lost at the idea of not having a job to go to).

To the pps on this thread expecting to retire at 50 - you must have massive salaries, family wealth or public sector pensions behind you? The current state retirement age is 67 and both dh and I (61 and 59) expect to be working up to that point and, for me at least, hopefully beyond.

Well, I think a lot of people have paid their mortgage off by 50(s), and a lot of people are no longer funding dcs by then too; which is two very hefty income suckers which you don't need to find the money for. My dc and my mortgage probably take 70 % of my income so once they're not needed, I would hope to at least go very part time if not completely retire.

saraclara · 14/02/2024 20:37

I don't feel guilty about not working while others are (retired at 62). But I feel guilty because my children won't have that option.

SD1978 · 14/02/2024 20:37

Most of us won't get this as an option, because we don't earn enough to float if in our 50's. If you feel that guilty for the team you can always go back- given most of us will have to work until we are 70.......

Doyouthinktheyknow · 14/02/2024 20:39

DH feels no guilt! He retired at 62 years, I’m younger by some way so will be working until good knows when!

Occasionally I feel murderous when he says ‘have a good day’ when he knows I mostly hate my job and every day is hard work and mostly crap but what else can you say really🤷‍♀️ He does all the household chores and meal prep so I can’t complain!