Leaving a child in the car for a couple of minutes - how old?

[FeathersAndDown]

I left my 4-year-old twins in the car for the first time when nipping in the shop yesterday. I only needed a loaf of bread, it's a small village shop with a car park right outside. My heart was in my mouth the whole time! I literally ran in and out again. Next time I will probably go back to taking them in with me.

When is it acceptable to leave them? I know it varies by the child and how sensible they are, but generally. Would be interested to know what others think!

Yes, that’s what most people do. But you and another poster were all “wtf” at a pp who said sometimes parents sleep and therefore don’t have an eye on a child at all times? Which completely threw me off.

Because it's a nonsensical justification for leaving your newborn alone in a car while you stroll into Costa for a coffee? That exactly what @Skillest claimed she did, and claimed an adult sleeping was a reasonable equivalent.

She also called the woman who remonstrated with her poo faced 😂

Whereas I took it as a very literal “you can’t keep an eye on a baby at all times, people do sleep”, and read your response and the other pp’s response as “what, you mean someone is not awake when baby sleeps!”

I am massively sleep deprived. So sometimes I take things very literally when my brain doesn’t want to work properly 🙈

Sorry, @CatchAButterfly It gets better (eventually!)

I was going to ask if you were sleep deprived because none of it made sense...😅 I hope you get some sleep soon, please don't feel the need to stay up all night watching your sleeping baby 😬 just don't leave them in the car unattended to go and get a Costa!

Very interested in all the comments saying "...except at the petrol station" where there's no pay at pump. I always get the worst fears when I have to leave the kids in the car at the petrol station, and take them with me if I possibly can - a) thefts and breakins are famously far more common at petrol stations and b) should I lock my child in the car in a potentially very flammable environment? If there was an accident that ignited something, it would be harder for anyone to extract the children.

Click and collect where they bring it out to your car is your friend in this sort of situation.

Personally it's the two of them tho g that would make me say "16!" but then I have four year old boys and I wouldn't trust Twin 1 to not try and drive the car off

I'd leave my singleton, who's 8

😂😂 Yeah once it was explained to me I realised I was being thick…! I was genuinely thinking wtf, people don’t sleep! But, what if one of them work, what if it’s a single parent, etc etc! 🙈

I have an almost 3 year old who has never slept through and a 3 month old who always wants boob…staying awake overnight is not something I want to do willingly!

And funnily enough, a few weeks ago I googled my nearest drive thru Costa so I can see where I can get a drink when they’re sleeping in the car, so I’m at least ok on that front!

I find the hysteria on these threads fascinating. What exactly do people think is going to happen to a child who is left in a locked car. The probability of anything happening is exceptionally low. And yet there are other threads frequently on Mumsnet where people talk about letting their children play out unsupervised from as young as 5. To my mind this is far, far more risky than a child being left in a locked vehicle for a few minutes.

I have never heard about a child being snatched from a car outside a village shop/ petrol station. Can one of the PPs send me a link?
As a mother and grandmother I have always left my children/ grandchildren in the car paying for petrol..far more risks navigating taking the children across a forecourt than leaving strapped in the car 🤦‍♀️

Agree ..you cannot argue with….

Another question this thread has raised is how to get a toddler and a baby into a car, without leaving one unattended in the car? @CatchAButterfly

I think common sense has to prevail here. Of course they are going to have to be alone for a moment. I've had occasions where it was longer because someone needed a poo, so be it. I used to strap everyone into the car then get my things, go to the toilet and lock up etc. Otherwise i would never leave the house. Anyone who has multiple kids has to make these little decisions, anyone claiming they never did this probably only has one child. Same with taking them out of the car in a car park. Baby is abandoned in a seat or in the buggy for a minute while toddler is being unbuckled. The alternative is asking toddler to stand patiently while you unload a buggy and get the baby, which is a much greater risk, depending on the toddler.

Also just to add McDonalds drive through is a good one to remember, their coffee is nice.

😂Exactly!!

People say they wouldn't but... do people not leave they're kids and babies in the car when going into the shop to pay for Fuel? Isn't it the same thing, as long as it was a safeish type shop

From a few weeks old, but I am from a country where we leave babies out in prams in the garden, and have more of a sense of community about children. U.K. is more individualistic.

I was more likely to leave them for a few minutes when they were babies/toddlers and couldn’t get out of a 5 point harness car seat, couldn’t reach anything etc. Now if I left them alone in the car together I’d come back to WW3

Some of these posts are absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣
Some people saying they might consider it now aged 10… Half the kids in my sons year 5 class (age 9/10)are walking a mile or more home from school alone at that age.

The hysteria is ridiculous. Op your kids were perfectly fine I’m sure. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have left my kids in the car at the age of 4 to do a full supermarket shop but I certainly wouldn’t think twice about popping into a local shop to get a loaf of bread, or leaving them while I pop in and pay for petrol and I did it when they were a lot younger.

No wonder we have a generation of young adults who can’t cope with the basic stresses of life and who get triggered by farting the wrong way 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've recently started doing it (ds is 8) but only if it's literally a carton of milk or similar.

When my adult dd were younger though it was much more common.

I would agree with posters saying last couple of years of junior school. No way would I leave a 4 year old.

And if someone did crash Into the car? How is the kid being in there alone going to make it more likely to happen? Could happen just as easily with an adult,t sat there. And I really don't getthe" let the handbrake off " scenario. Just leave the car in bloody gear. I live on a hill and we all leave cars I gear in case of handbrake failure

Yes that’s right lol, adults are anxious nowadays because they were looked after at 4 years old.

I think there’s a difference between leaving them in the car at a petrol station, that has a huge window where you can still keep the car in your sight, and going into any kind of shop where they would be out of your sight for a minute.

My dd 6 and when I drop my son off at nursery if it’s really raining she stays in the car in their private car park but I can lock it from the outside as long as I turn the alarm off. ( I’m only gone a couple of minutes) But I won’t leave her to pop into the shops not for another few years atleast