Leaving a child in the car for a couple of minutes - how old?

[FeathersAndDown]

I left my 4-year-old twins in the car for the first time when nipping in the shop yesterday. I only needed a loaf of bread, it's a small village shop with a car park right outside. My heart was in my mouth the whole time! I literally ran in and out again. Next time I will probably go back to taking them in with me.

When is it acceptable to leave them? I know it varies by the child and how sensible they are, but generally. Would be interested to know what others think!

Never?! That’s unusual. I mean, you’d make your tik-toking year 8 12 year old who has keys to your house and gets themselves up and ready to school every day, crossing A roads on their own, come into the shop with their Mum in case someone stole them from the car?

Thats a little bit odd.

Depends on the situation and the child OP

I’d consider it at any age to be fair as newborns strapped into car seats aren’t going to get into mischief, probably more likely to leave them then than at 4, but will definitely be giving them the option by 6-8 when I consider it appropriate (or just leaving them at home)

Nope, noone is misreading it. At no point on the post does she say that she could see the kids at all times. And like others have said what good is that anyway? There's so many things that could go wrong from the car being taken, to the kid being taken, to what if the kid finds something to put in their mouth so there's a choking risk. What if someone crashed in to the car. Not worth it, ever. But you do you if that's your bag. Hopefully nothing ever happens that will risk your kids life or can get you reported. It takes a couple of extra minutes in and out the car.

I see a lot of parents leaving younger dc (3, 4, 5 year olds) in the car whilst doing the school run for older kids. I'll admit, I do judge them a bit for it. Apart from anything else it can't be very nice for the child. I'd much rather bring them along....

Seriously? How would you have felt if your newborn had choked to death on their own vomit? Sounds like the 20 year had way more sense than you.

Are they still in a 5 point car seat? If so, I'd leave them in the car. They can't get out of the seat so can't get out of the car or let the handbrake off or anything. Whilst crime rates vary from area to area, the chances of your car being stolen with the children in it in any area seems remarkably low.
I left the DC in the car when they were 5 & 3. As we parked, we commented that the car next to us was the same colour & make. The owner of that car came out of the shop before me and opened the back door of her car to put her shopping in only to find it was my car and there were two surprised children in there. She came back into the shop, let me know what had happened so I went out to check on the children who were laughing about it. For days after, the 3yo told everyone about this.

As Babies . Locked In. Ran in ran out. Issue with me was that traffic guy wanted to give me a parking ticket and not the big shot local solicitor behind me .. until I called him out on it . Ticket ripped
Up! Two minutes . Babies sound asleep as expected . Small village .

Absolutely not, 4 is far far too young. Anything could have happened. I have 4 children ages 5, 11, 12 and 14, I would only ever leave the 5 year old if one of the older were with her and I could see the car at all times. I'm shocked anyone could think this was reasonable.

I had to leave baby twins for a few minutes to walk DS1 into school and collect again. It made me incredibly anxious but the alternative was worse. I had to wake up 2 babies to put them in the buggy on rainy mornings, this involved 1 baby being exposed to the rain while I strap in the other so now 1 wet and 1 dry baby, both crying. Both due a feed due to being woken early. Impossible to breastfeed two with not enough room in a car so they got emergency bottles, then winding and vomiting for 20 or 30 mins followed by dirty nappies changed in the boot of the car while exposed to cold rain. Then a drive home after over an hour at the school gates and 2 babies nap schedule off so that they don't eat their dinner before the next school collection and the whole thing sets off again, feeding babies at the side of the road etc. On balance leaving them was by far the better option for their welfare as well as mine.

Iv left my 5yo dd a couple of times whilst iv ran in the local shop to collect a parcel. Parked right outside and only gone a minute. Shes not stupid enough to mess with the handbrake because iv warned her of the dangers and she knows not to get out of her car seat. Surely anything above 5 they should be old enough to comprehend that! I dont think id leave her to go in a supermarket where id be gone longer and parked further away though

Definitely not 4. I would leave my 10 year old and probably my 8 year old. I wouldnt leave my 6 year old.

I left my two children in the car when one was sleeping and the other one refused to get out when I had driven home one day. They were about 4 and 7 maybe. I thought I’ll take all the bags out, put them on the doorstep and come back for the children. I was seconds. The car was in sight the whole time.

I put the bags down and as I turned round to go back to the car, my eldest let the handbrake off and was pretending to drive. My youngest had woken up and was standing up in the back. I have never run so fast in my whole life. I ran to the car, jumped in and managed to stop it before it went into a stationery car in front. It did give me a fright and I never did it again.

That was more about my eldest child who cannot be trusted not to do ridiculous things (and they are still the same aged 21.) Maybe most people don’t have children like mine!

I left my DC 3 and newborn in the car today on my drive. They were both asleep in the car and I was absolutely desperate for the toilet. I locked the car, left the front door open, nipped into the downstairs loo did the fastest wee in history and ran back outside ( and had the cctv camera on them the whole time which was on my phone screen). We live somewhere nice with low crime rates and few but lovely neighbours. The whole time I was catastrophising about what could happen 😐. I checked back on the camera and it was less than 2 minutes between me exiting the car and getting back to it.
still not something I’d be keen to repeat.

paranoid I may be but I’m a pay at pump or take them with me for petrol person but I appreciate it’s a huge pain in the bum all that car seat loading and unloading 🫣

Mine are 7 & 10 and I don't think I've ever left them, other than at the petrol station.
I wouldn't fully trust the 7yr old not to prat about. I always think what if they unbuckle themselves and take the handbrake off or something like that.
I've asked 10yr old a couple of times if she wants to stay in the car for a few mins, but she never wants to.

I definitely wouldn't have left them at 4, no chance.

To take the handbrake off in my car, they would need the keys to start the engine first. Presumably lots of modern cars are similar...

Petrol stations without pay at pump... from when DD2 was born as its safer than having two children out of the car on the forecourt. Same at the security checkpoints I used to have to go through. Shops... a lit older though.

I still can't forget though I was told, in complete seriousness... I should have left my 7&8yo at home, or in the car, while doing whole supermarket shops in 2020. Now its back to everyone saying to never leave them unattended again. Short memories...

Can I add to my earlier handbrake story, the car was not on a discernible slope but it still rolled forward.

🙄 that's laughable.

People do not physically watch their children at all times. Sometimes parents sleep. Or do stuff.

I can only assume you are trolling for a responce, so laughable is your pearl clutching.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6433457/amp/Police-officer-tells-inquest-tried-save-Kiara-Moore.html

Indeed there was, very tragic

How quickly do you need to be doing things that warrants leaving a child at any age in a car? I realise twin 4 yo are hard work but like I would hate for my car and my kids to be stolen together 😥
I probably would never leave my kids in the car on their own unless they were of an age where I’d let them go out on their own… 13 maybe if they really insisted?
No… it just seems unnecessary OP!🩷

I’m this person too, either pay at pump or take them into the station with me.

I am curious what others do though as my DC6m current nap schedule clashes with pre-school pick-up/drop-off so naps go all wayward on those days, leading to general chaos. I see other parents leaving their sleepy babies in the car while walking their elder children in (car in car park in full sight of the door), I’m not brave enough. In my mind the car would either explode or get stolen if I did.

This was in my home town about half a mile from my house! Devastating 😔😔

This.
Unfortunately I know of someone.

If it's a petrol station I used pay at pump only. I think I'd actually take dc in with me to pay if I couldn't at the pump bug they'd probably be safer left in the car!
Tbh with petrol I refill at 1/4 left so if there wasn't pap option I'd leave it.

Not trolling, just a mother who has twice had to call an ambulance for a baby choking on vomit.

Don't try and excuse your neglectful behaviour by exclaiming, "what about when you're sleeping!" Because safe sleep guidance is that babies under six months sleep in the same space as you. You'd hear them. And maybe, just maybe, moses baskets have handles so that you can transport a baby around the house when you're "doing things".

Anyone that thinks it's okay to leave a 2 week old in a car while they go into Costa to get a cup of tea shouldn't have children. Just gross.

Around 10.

I’ve left my 3 month old in the car since he was a newborn when doing nursery drop off, but this this thread is making me doubt myself. I park right in front of the nursery gates every time (late drop off so never a question of not being able to park there) and then it’s less than 5 meters to the front door. Drop off is at the front door so I don’t go in. Whole process takes less than a minute, maximum two minutes if they’re slow opening the door, and the car is in my sight the whole time.

That’s ok right? I never leave him in the car for pick up as pick up involves going into the building, waiting for your child and then talking to the key worker about the day, so too long to be away from the car and the car is actually out of sight.

Another question this thread has raised is how to get a toddler and a baby into a car, without leaving one unattended in the car? I put my toddler in first so that he doesn’t run off, then go back in, grab any bags that need to go in the car, then back in and grab the baby. It means my toddler is alone in the car and also out of sight as I’m in the house whilst he’s in the car on the driveway. Any tips?

There are many Moses baskets that aren’t made for carrying with baby?