Gym changing rooms - hypothetical question

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

So you're getting changed in the ladies changing room at the gym (no private cubicles, all open plan) and a woman walks in with an older teen boy. Would you point out to them that this is the ladies changing room? Or would you just ignore them and get changed.

depends how close to done I was. If I was basically dressed and doing socks etc I’d crack in and get out of there, and maybe tell the front desk. If I was in an earlier and more exposed phase of changing I’d cover myself up and ask him to leave. I realise that’s a bit ‘I’m alright Jack…’.

is he def a boy?

How are you meant to know, though?

Scenario was, wrapped in a towel after shower and needed to get dried and dressed.

What do you mean ‘how are you supposed to know’?

Happens a lot at my gym. Not teens but 12yo, etc. boys who are at secondary school and old enough to dress themselves. I glare at them if they’re staring at my boobs but too scared to say anything because of special needs, trans, etc.

I feel sorry for their female classmates who they walk in on naked.

ask him to leave

How do you know he may turn round and says he identifies as female. My gym let men in the women’s changing as long as they say they feel like a woman.

So he looked like a boy, and was dressed like a boy. So my assumption from that is that he is a boy.

Why would he have to turn round? That phrase is really annoying.
That isn’t the scenario we were asked to answer. If that’s what you are going to make it about, I’m out. It’s been discussed over and over.

So you know as much as you need to.

Well that’s just stupid. Tell them to get out.

OK so I politely pointed out to the grandparent that this was the women's changing rooms. She replied 'yes I know that, I'm here with my grand-daughter'. And now I feel angry and like a twat all at the same time.

Some teen girls do look like boys, not necessarily trans or anything like that, just a certain style.

It is the scenario, I’m saying I wouldn’t say anything as per the OPs question and explaining why. Regardless of the reason I would be nervous of getting a mouthful.

I don’t believe the conversation would go well. Even before trans became a thing (and I don’t want to make it about trans at all) I wouldn’t have said anything for fear of the mum shouting at me that the boy has special needs.

i have mentioned it to the gym front desk and occasionally emails get sent out reminding people of the 8yo rule but it makes no difference so people obviously don’t give a shit.

Totally. Saw a video once where a teen girl was talking about how she’d been told to leave the women’s toilets. She was biologically female, had short hair. She was upset and I felt sorry for her.

I tell them to leave. We have it after swimming lessons - molly coddling mums who can't let their senior school male change in a changing room by themselves. My small female doesn't need a flash of penis when she's getting changed.

So I'm not sure whether I was right to say something now. I felt uncomfortable getting naked in front of what I thought was a teenaged boy.

I think it is the right thing most of the time. The majority will just have idiots for mothers. But there is a risk that it is genuinely someone with learning difficulties or a girl who looks like a boy. And for me personally it’s not a risk I’m prepared to take

At my local David Lloyd it seems to be a bigger issue the other way round - my poor DH regularly comes out of the shower to find a young girl with her Dad, and then DH feels he's in the wrong for changing in front of her.

Learning difficulties is a whole different conversation.

I have boys. They have long hair and have been mistaken for girls.

I didn’t see it as a big deal, in my view, if you don’t present as typically of your sex it will happen. Don’t worry about how you were perceived

Our gym has “family” changing rooms with cubicles where parents can change with their opposite sex children.

I think it’s fine to say something if a teen or adult male is in the female changing rooms. Unluckily in this case it was a female who looked like a male. That’s fairly rare so I’d still take the approach of saying something in a similar situation.

Outrageous. Where will all this end

@LoveSandbanks this gym has a family changing room as well, but I was in the women's.

I'm 99% sure this wasn't a biological female. The grandmother was very snippy and defensive. I muttered an apology and moved to the other end of the changing rooms given I believed I was about to have to undress in front of a teenaged boy. I'm still fuming.

Snippy? Well no one must be challenged must they. All wrong

If it was a male that is very selfish of them
especially when alternative family rooms could have been used.