Being late

[blackpup]

There was a discussion recently on TV about people being late. The people chatting explored why people are late and they went into many different reasons and they lost reasons like:

• it's a control thing
• it's a lazy thing
• it's a thing where people lack the capacity to add up time

I was listening to it and it annoyed me because often I am late.

It's never intentional by me.

There is far too much of a pull on my time from every direction - from work and my aging parents. Somebody seems to want a piece out of me every day and it's non stop. Sometimes work holds me late too and some days are long and just exhausting.

I am o my human and I need time for myself too and if I am working all week and sometimes late, I am going to need to get time from somewhere to do some basic tasks like hygiene. Like I was working all of last week, no issue there. I was booked to babysit for Saturday and no issue there and I was busy all day Sunday. Then I was dragged into work on Monday morning and I was kept late. My hair was greasy and I needed to wash my hair.

I was supposed to be in work early this morning but i didn't fancy going into work and working all day long time whatever time I am let go at. Probably 8 or 9 at night and not knowing when the f*ck I will be able to wash my hair. So I washed it this morning and I also took the time to dry my hair too before making lunch for the day and leaving. All this time my phone was hopping from my work too and I had to make the decision to ignore my phone or I will never be able to get out the door and be physically in work.

I see that aspect was never brought into any discussion. When you're working full time it's so hard to go and get a few minutes to yourself. Every day is a migraine for me now.

Also I have an underlying condition and I get sick a lot and sometimes sickness hits me at the wrong time but I can't ig ire it and I have to manage it with medication and sometimes that slows me down. Again it's not intentional. I also see that was never factored into their discussion. Sometimes people are late and it's not intentional.

I know how annoying it is when people are late and it seems it's every time and it seems intentional because I had that done to me. I remember a patch of time where I would go to town with my mother and we would agree to meet at a certain location for whatever time. Over and over and over again my mother was always late and it was never by 5 or 10 minutes. Sometimes 15 or 20 minutes.

I remember a time where we agreed to meet and I turned up to the location on time and I waited around for about 10 minutes and again she was a no show and at that stage I walked away and I never returned back or met her. She was always doing it. She never did again to me after that day turning up late. It is annoying when people are late.

However, sometimes there are circumstances beyond someone's control too.

You sound genuine op but my friend is always late. Its no joke waiting in january cold for her. Its just how she is. Another friend has improved alot just says her time management not great. I think its a bad habit though being late

Do you inform people when you are going to be late? In your example, could you not have washed your hair the night before? I work full time and am a single parent to two teens also with elderly parents. Life is busy, lots is asked of me but barring grid locked traffic I am very rarely late and would never prioritise a hair wash over work. It's about organisation and sequencing and finding short cuts..eg dry shampoo or previous night hair wash.

So you decided to go to work late just so you could wash your hair? That wasn’t a circumstance beyond your control at all.

yes life can be hectic but your excuses are just that excuses.

I have a friend who is always late. Sometimes it's an hour. I put it down to laziness, poor planning, and arrogance that her time is more important.

But in the example you gave of washing your hair you deliberately made a choice to be late.

Lateness is very rarely accidental and I find if it is those who are accidentally late often ring or message to apologise in advance.

Those who are always late don't and often seem to be the kind of people who think you should just be grateful they turned up at all.

I don't understand, just wash your hair another day?? Lateness drives me mad. Yes sometimes it can't be helped, but people that are late often wind me up.

Work kepte late last night and I got home at 10. By that time it was too late to wash my hair and all I had was a quick bite to eat and went to bed by 11.

I used to have a terrible habit before washing my hair at night and going to bed with my hair wet but then I learned that's an awful way to treat hair and not only that it's a breeding ground for bad scalp conditions not to mention mold.

I had greasy hair that had to be dealt with this morning and another day of dry shampoo wasn't going to cut it. I did have time this morning but then I lost track of time and then my belly got very sore and I began to feel unwell. So it was a load of stuff and circumstances that came my way.

I had some flexibility within my work and starting time this morning and ideally 10am would have been the best time but I made it in for 11.

Even before that that, my phone was hoping for 8.30 this morning with messages and calls and if I took time to answer them all I would have been delayed getting ready and leaving the house and going phyically into work.

There is just quite simply no shut off point from work and I need to grap.some time from somewhere just to even look after myself at this stage.

Yes, when I become unwell I usually send a message or email to say that too. I have a condition causing pain in my belly and gut inflammation and toilet issues and sickness and noone really understands it. Sometimes I can be doing well and then all of a sudden I am hit with pain or cramps or dagger pains in my belly or toilet urgency and I just need time to look after myself and take medication to calm the situation. Nobody really understands it. A lot of people only really have a black or white thinking - if you're well, you're well, if you're not well, your sick and they wonder why I don't take sick days or wonder why I haven't rang in sick before a certain time. When I can be good one minute and then get issues another minute and then sometimes my condition delays me from leaving the house. It's not intentional when I am not well.

Get up earlier and wash your hair like everyone else does! Ridiculous excuse for lateness!

On the odd occasion I am late it’s either because I’ve woken up in agony and can barely move until my pain medication kicks in or because there’s been an accident on route somewhere and I’ve been stuck in traffic on a bus.

it also sounds like you need to set some work boundaries and general boundaries to look after yourself

Illness is one thing, washing your hair is another. When you say "work kept me late" it's hard to say really ..if you're a doctor in A&E and noone to take over I get it but otherwise, you work your hours and go. But it takes 5 mins to wash hair and ten to roughly dry it. If you were in at ten that's not too late. I don't disagree with your general point that occasional lateness due to circumstances can't be helped but frequent lateness due to poor planning and or prioritising wrongly, can. You literally said yourself you lost track of time. That's not circumstance and IS your fault.

Being late for work because you didn't get up in time to wash your hair to me is completely unacceptable. I would never do that and would think someone who does this has a very casual attitude to their job.

I can’t believe you were late to work because you wanted to wash your hair!!

I absolutely hate when people consistently turn up late - as if their time is more valuable than mine. It’s so disrespectful.

I often think that lateness is a sign that the person thinks their time is more valuable or important than the other person's.

What you’re saying is that you prioritise what you want over your priorities. If you were in bed for 11pm, you could have got up at 7.30, washed your hair, had breakfast and got to work way before 11am. You chose not to.

I think you need to explain more context of your work, as at the moment you look like yabu. Can you move jobs so you have a better work/life balance?

My friend has got better as when I temped my times were set in offices. So i made it clear i only had x window to meet her. Its a bad habit though

I have a friend with life commitments (zero apart from her job). She is always late. Never seems to have thought through the process of getting somewhere (on time).

*zero life commitments

Yes, this. Alternatively that they are a ditherer and lose track of time.

I was my hair every morning and have never been late for work. I just get up earlier.

*wash

It just sounds like a load of excuses to me.

You need to be better organised. Stop making arrangements you can’t possibly make, start learning to say “no”

Being continually late is rude to others

But you got to bed at 11 so you could have got up early to walk your hair and did that before anything else and be on time and you just said time got away from you. So it's not something out of your control, you just were bad with your time. Ignore your phone if it's work related and not an emergency, it's not work time yet and your trying to get ready so that's the priority. Why not text work and let them know you were in late so will be taking an extra hour that morning or are you paid hourly? Why you letting work keep you late so often? Alot if what you sounds avoidable due to better time management. I'm excluding feeling unwell but again let people know. There's nothing worse than repeatedly waiting on someone who is always late, if it's a one off then ok but all the time then it's personal reasons and not put if their hands

Unless stuck in traffic or illness or similar.
There is no excuse to be late. Lateness is a choice and it's rude!