Do you live one day at a time? Or do you live in the future?

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I would like to be able to live one day at a time. I feel like that would solve so many problems. But instead I'm living in next year , 2 years time or in 6 months time and it's giving me anxiety.
I am filing for divorce and wanting to get a mortgage on my own etc but this won't be for another year or so. And frankly I'm terrified!
Day to day I don't have any problems, but the longer term stuff I have to do is bringing me down and making me depressed.
So do you live day to day? Or is your head constantly in the future? I honestly would be so much happier if I could just live one day at a time and worry about what I need to do for that day, rather than tormenting myself over what may or may not happen in several months or a year. This way of thinking is ruining my life and not letting me enjoy how things are today. Currently I don't have any problems, yet I am anticipating them constantly. It's like my default way of living and I hate it.

Also if you do live one day at a time or in the present, how do you do it?

I generally live day to day, but my spouse is a planner. I can barely think beyond next week. While they are already planning things for next year!

@DRS1970 I would love to be like that. My mind is naturally set to worry and think about the future.

I do have long term plans but generally I try to live day to day as I could drop dead tomorrow.

I am the same OP. Constantly thinking, planning and dreaming about the future, always making plans and worrying about what might happen. I suffer badly with anxiety. I often wish I could just live for the moment but another part of me thinks that would be really boring. I can’t imagine not having plans or dreams.

I live in the future. To the point where I am dreaming about retiring a lot. I am not even close to retirement age. I am trying to force myself into the here and now more. Not quite sure how to. I guess finding nice moments or things to do each day?

Both. I try and live in the moment as much as possible. But I have my own business which needs lots of forward planning plus the usual of arranging holidays, meals out, meeting friends/family.

The things that keep me in the now are my dogs, my garden and the natural world around me. Going for a walk (especially at this time of year when things are starting to grow again) is immensely soothing and good for the soul. I also try and run for 30mins 5 days a week. It's a real stress buster and helps clear my mind. Is that something you could do?

Same here, constantly thinking about and worrying about future things, to the extent I don't have the time to enjoy the here and now. I always have to plan, have a plan B in case plan A doesn't work and then a plan C in case B doesn't work. It's exhausting. But however hard I try, I just can't stop myself. I never used to be this bad, it's just got worse as I've got older, with more responsibility.

I envy those who can "wing it". Someone I know just turns up at the railway station to go somewhere - with no idea what times the trains are etc. I just couldn't do that. I research and have all options noted down.

We've almost stopped going on holidays now because I get so stressed about it all. All the planning of timings for getting to the airport, airport transfers from carparks, check in desk queues, security queues, making sure not to lose passports, tickets, etc etc etc. I'm a gibbering wreck by the time we get to the departure gate. Then on the flight I'm constantly checking the car hire booking, accommodation booking, etc. I just can't chill out and enjoy it!

I have anxiety CBT taught me to do a day at a time. The majority of anxiety stems from the past or the future neither of which are currently happening

I never just wing it, and holidays are always very well researched and planned by me (so well I could easily be a travel agent). But because I know everything is in place and I know when and where I need to be I don't get at all stressed by the actual travelling. It sounds like you need help with your anxiety because it's completely off the scale. Its also negatively affecting your family which isn't fair at all. Have you been to your GP?

I tend to live in the future. I can be more present at times. I think you can work on it. Try to think, what do I like about today? Do something you enjoy each day, find things that absorb you whether it's exercise, hobby or music stuff it helps.

I'm currently looking at houses I might be able to buy in 5 years time. My savings/house buying plan is 100% down to my idea to scale up my small business working and bringing in the amount I've worked out. Yet I'm scrolling right move to see what we might be able to get, instead of going and doing the work

I can blame it on ADHD but it's still nonsensical 🙄

Unless you are clairvoyant you have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow, next week or possibly this afternoon.

Yes, it makes sense to forward plan for major life events such as buying a house (why is this terrifying rather than exciting?) and to have contingencies for unforeseen bumps in the road but imaging stuff that hasn't happened yet is just that - imagining. In children it's called pretending.

I tend to live in the day.

It's a hangover from abuse I think. I don't look to the future because I once believed I didn't have one. And it was too overwhelming to consider. Besides, I had enough 'today' to worry about!

I'd suggest thinking of it in terms of putting one foot in front of the other. There's no point in looking to the top of a hill and thinking, "I'll never make it! It's too far!" All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and eventually you'll get there.

There's no point worrying about what ifs along the way because you'll just deal with them as they arise.

There's also no good in pretending tomorrow isn't going to come, so yes be prepared, but worrying about it does no good.

I live in both. I love to live in the day and plan nice things daily even if it's watching something good on tv or going for a walk.

Then I plan things for the future but I really enjoy them when they're happening and am present.

Currently, I've planned 3 events this month so that's all my near 'future' done. Im looking at holidays for the summer but as the days roll on, I'll plan more things.

I don't anticipate made up problems though I do like to think about scenarios attached to some event, if that makes sense. But that's general planning. That's why we take out insurance and email itineraries and addresses to each other.

I live life for now, always have done and I believe I'm generally happier as a result if this.

My grandparents (who raised me for some of my childhood) always said in reference to money to spend it as you can't take it with you. As if to prove a point they both dropped dead of brain aneurysms 7 years apart even though they were fit and healthy ( although Nan was older).

Life's just too short to worry about a future that may never come. It's a liberating way to live, though I've had planner type exes I've driven up the wall with my attitude to life.

To add, I work in an end of life care home and am reminded constantly of our mortality. Some of our residents are there slowly dying for years. This has cemented my live for the moment type personality in that I am so sensitive the idea we only get one shot at life, at being physically and mentally capable and I don't intend to waste it whittling and worrying.

This is such a good question. I think I live in a combination of future and past...

When I was getting divorced I lived in the future because I needed to think through various options and work out which one au thought was best.

Now I am divorced and have bought a house. Most plans are now made and fixed and I live much more day to day.

@Octavia64 I am going through something similar , getting divorced and wanting to buy a house and it's causing me anxiety as I'm unsure if I can afford it and the repayments etc. I am basically stuck in a time capsule where I'm living in next year. I haven't even got a mortgage yet and I'm already worried about keeping up with repayments, it's just madness

@Tiny2018 sounds like a great way to live and love that it has made you happier. Would love to try and live the same way.

@HighQueenOfTheFarRealm what a lovely way to live. You sound like how I want to be. My life is constantly anticipating made up problems. I hate my personality!

One day at a time but I find this causes problems because I am forever underprepared for things and surprised by things suddenly being now when I thought they were ages away.

I have ADHD and it's one of the symptoms (time blindness, poor executive functioning).

It doesn't make me happy, it's stressful, and I feel guilty constantly being "that parent" who hasn't given enough notice for a child's doctor appointment, being late with things, looking like I've forgotten people's birthdays or not put any effort in (when I had loads of present ideas but left it too late to buy them). You need a mixture of planning for the future and appreciating the present.

I do know what you mean though, I remember that time in limbo biding my time to leave an unhealthy relationship, it was very stressful.

@Eyesopenwideawake it is exciting thinking of buying a house but I'm swamped with catastrophic thoughts about it, such as not being able to cope with mortgage repayments, extortion interest rates, the house getting repossessed. And this is all before I've even got a mortgage approved. It's definitely not normal how my mind thinks

I read something a while back that really struck a cord -

"Those that live in the past, are depressed. Those that live in the future are anxious. The best way is to live for the day"

Have a plan for the future, but live in the day. "Sufficient for each day is it's own anxieties"