Ever been on holiday where you couldn't wait to come home

[GardeningQuestionTime]

OK I'm in the sun and it's February...but I'm stuck on an where nothing to do except snorkel and its too windy.

The hotel needs serious updating, there are cocks crowing all night, the breakfast was minimal. The advertised beach is lovely but literally a beach. My alternative plan of lying on the beach reading are scuppered by no umbrella or lounger.

The hire car is a worryingly battered piece of shit.

I'm being churlish but there's a long 5 days stretching out in front of me.

Honestly some stories of shit holidays would help!

I want to Ayia Napa about 35 years ago. So rough we didn't stay. Ended up on a dodgy boat to Israel. Didn't feel safe rhe whole time. Glad to be home.

A self catering cottage with extended family. Had found out about XHs affair a few weeks before but no one else knew. Highlight of the holiday was having a vomiting bug which at least meant for a bit I didn’t have to see anyone.

In 2021 we booked onto a campsite by the coast in Suffolk because there was an almost deserted beach I'd read about and we both wanted to visit Grime's Graves, the Neolithic flint mines. It was worth it for those two things, but let's say there were issues. Firstly, we were late to the campsite because we'd gone to pick up a family member who was being kicked out by his housemate so he could stay at our place so when we arrived there were hardly any good pitches left.

Secondly, the campsite itself was nice enough, as campsites go, but there was a wind turbine on either side of it and because we were late the only pitches were close to them. We'd never been anywhere near a wind turbine before and had no idea how loud they are. They go 'womp, womp, womp' 24 hours day which made sleeping difficult.

Thirdly, the campsite was far closer than I'd realised to a small safari park so not only did we listen to wind turbines all night, but there was a near constant chittering, yipping, barking and roaring. Lions wake up at about 3am and start roaring immediately. By the end of the week I could do a passable imitation.

Fourthly, I don't know what was in the air, whether it was pollen, the safari park or what but I was plagued with allergic rhinitis the whole time. Thankfully it stopped as soon as we set off for home.

Suffice to say that by the end of the week I was exhausted.

This is the beach. The only way to get to that spot is a half mile walk along field-side tracks so not many people go and those who do don't stray far. A walk of ten minutes and it's pretty well deserted. It was beautiful.

Edit: you can actually see the wind turbines in the vid at 2:44 😂

Adult DD and I went to Poland for the weekend once. Nothing whatsoever wrong with Poland, it was nice. The issue was the accommodation.

I'd made the mistake of booking an apartment with no reviews. When we got there the entire place was a building site. There were literally 2 apartments in a block of about 60 that were actually finished. The one we were staying in and the owners flat aove. Even the lift was just bare boards. We got lost on the way in and asked this big burly polish man if he knew where the apartment was. He didn't speak, just moved his head to indicate we should follow him. The atmosphere wasn't helped by being dark, windy and raining. By the time we got to the owners flat everything felt really sinister. We walked past a bathroom with the shower curtain pulled around like some horror movie. I'm aware that's quite an innocent thing but at the time we were not feeling comfortable!

We got into the apartment thinking we'd try to make the best of it and put the TV on for some normality. It worked for like a minute then just went to fuzziness. Then we heard dragging sounds from above in the owners flat. By this time we were both scared but it was about 10pm and I didn't know what else to do. In the end we shared the bedroom, took the knife block from the kitchen in there with us and dragged the drawer unit over to barricade the door!

Obviously we were fine and we did feel much better the next day and ended up just staying there the second night. But I was glad to get home!

Portugal. Nothing wrong with Portugal but my husband at the time decided to behave horribly to me and our two children. He picked fights with me every day, shouted at our daughter and made her cry and was cold and sneery to our son. We didn't speak for most of the week. Of course it transpired he was having an affair and probably missed ow so took it out on us.

😁

Eurocamp Lake Garda, first time abroad with teenage dses. Heatwave of 40c, ds1 who is ginger and pale couldn’t cope with it. No air con, pool was rammed, the beach beside the lake was non existent. The road up to the caravan was so steep and windy I was terrified in the hire car! So paranoid I would scratch it!

We came home after 2 days, it was beyond miserable.

I went to Jersey for a week and it rained heavily every day. I went with extended family and my brother and his wife bickered the whole time (they broke up shortly after). My sister was going through a hard time and was also miserable. I vowed at the end never to go on holiday with extended family again and I never have.

Tunisia. Never had a week seemed so long. Me and my friend were already talking about leaving mid way through. It was a number of years ago now but it was no place for two young women.

1999, Sunny Beach Bulgaria.
I couldn't eat a thing. I'm vegetarian. I existed on wine, laughing cow cheese triangles and bread sticks.
Toilets were a hole in the ground.
Poverty was rife.
Cried to come home.

10 days in Majorca in July - rained every single day, it rained so much the water leaked through the roof of our villa and into the bedroom.
Also spent a week in Taiwan - worst place ever. The hotel was like something out of laser quest. The room didn't have windows (that was extra) and you could touch both walls if you put your arms outstretched. We decided we would head to the national park (3 hour train journey away - standing) - we go there only to find that our B&B was next to some sort of factory that was chucking out loads of smoke and god knows what, there were dead rats in the stream alongside the accommodation. We got bitten by bed bugs. The hiking trails were mostly closed due to landslides. The rest of the trails you needed permits for which we didn't have. And there were a bout a million Chinese tourists on holiday in the same place, the pollution from all of the coaches was terrible. So we left early and undeterred, headed to some famous picturesque mountain village (again another long train journey) only to find that the village was completely covered in cloud/mist and we couldn't see a f**king thing. And it rained. And was also full of tourists. So we got the train back to Taipei, checked into a 5 star hotel and got a McDonald's and we never spoke about it again.

Go and ask the staff for their suggestions.

Yep, France, skiing, now! We've been on holiday with these people before, but this time they are driving me nuts!!

Yes Tenerife and Gran Canaria, stayed in grotty resorts. Found both places utterly charmless.

Yes, booked two weeks in the sun (summer holidays). Hotel was lovely but the pool was freezing cold and the 'kid's club' was a room with some toys where a parent had to be there and supervise them at all times. I had imagined teaching DS (age 4) to swim in the pool but it as far too cold.

The evening entertainment was very good though. We ended up all staying up late and enjoying that (well DS loved it and we loved it because of that and had plenty of wine) - then getting up late morning/midday so we only had to find things to do in the afternoon. I also got bitten really badly by mosquitoes.

We were very envious of the people leaving after a week. Never been on a holiday anything like that since - it was 15 years ago now! Now we just do UK holidays (and frequently only stay 5 days despite booking a cottage for a week) and European/NY city breaks.

You definitely did. I went 4 years ago and fly back there this weekend, we have never been to anywhere we love as much. If you ever go back try the beaches right on the south coast, we love Ahangama. We did the cultural triangle - Colombo - Kandy - Ella - South coast then Galle this time we are just heading to the coast for 2 weeks of R&R after a shitty year I am ready for it.

Tenerife in the early 90s. Was asked by an acquaintance to go with her group of friends for a week, some of them were going for the whole summer.

We arrived, and they proceeded to slit the linings of their cases and take out huge quantities of LSD and ecstasy they had brought to sell. I'd been invited along as I looked so innocent, and to even up the girl / boy balance to not attract suspicion. They then treated me like crap for a few days, as my usefulness was over.

A few years ago me and a friend went to Lanzarote for a week and it was positively the worst holiday I've ever been on.
The hotel was a shithole, dirt and rubbish everywhere with bored looking staff.
The weather was truly dreadful, it was cold and rained all week and the resort didn't have much to offer for indoor pursuits to escape the awful weather
To top it all my friend came down with a dreadful cold that I ended up getting later in the week😒
Ironically the weather back at home was warm and sunny 🙄

Later in the same year I went to Tenerife for a week and that was fantastic, so at least that made up for the disaster of Lanzarote😊

Must admit Honeyandfizz we have considered going back but trying somewhere totally different on the island but I'm a bit wary of standards now - our previous hotel was not cheap - and DH is not really up to touring around these days so I doubt we will return now but shall certainly take your advice should we ever take the plunge.

Hope you have a great time!

@Noseyoldcow
Was there really a girl named Dakota-Marie?
There's a South Dakota and a North Dakota in the USA.
And I think I've seen a "Montana" on Love Island or something.
Ok then, I will persuade my kids to call any granddaughters that may materialise........Minnesota-Mae, or maybe Arizona-Annie? 🤷‍♀️

The Algarve many, many years ago with my sister: I took pictures of a different building site every day - the whole area was a mess of construction.

The hotel room had a leak right under one of the non-moveable beds and it rained most nights, (late October) - my sister ended up sleeping with a bucket on her stomach. I have no idea why we didn’t tell the staff - we were too young and timid!

There were just two flights of passengers in the virtually empty hotel in what was then a very small resort - from Manchester and Gatwick - in the last days of the ‘season’ and we ended up under siege from locals who did everything from spit at us in the street, to throwing things whilst screaming abuse.

According to the hotel staff, who were apologetic but helpless, many of the locals were angry about all the construction, (unsurprisingly), and had had a summer full of lager louts. When they got their hands, metaphorically, on a small group of mostly the elderly and young people with babies, (my sister and I were the only two young single girls there), it was apparently ‘open season’ on all of us.

Things were so bad, that we could only go out in the evening in a large group - young and old gathered in the lobby and we went to one of two bars where we were treated decently and could be safe. At about 11pm, we then all trooped back in a crocodile! It was actually really sweet how people supported each other!

The worst incident was one young couple and their baby who arrived back one afternoon splattered with mud - several old ladies had hurled it at them, focusing on the child in the pushchair. The husband was crying with shame, frustration and fury and we were just so shocked- it was horrible to see and I will never forget it.

The final straw was at the end of the holiday when I got bitten one night across my eyelid by a mosquito and my eye swelled completely shut. I was in a lot of pain and looked awful. When I ventured out later the next day, I had gravel thrown at me by some local small children whilst their mothers egged them on and made signs at me - they thought I was permanently disfigured and ‘unlucky’ so apparently that was the way to behave.

If we had had the money, we would have flown home early. However, we were young and broke, so spent an awful 14 days and just had to suck it up.

I know some won’t believe me - it was before mobiles, etc. so no proof, but it’s all true, (I have even left some bits out!)

I have genuinely never got over the sheer viciousness we experienced from those people. Since then I have been lucky enough to travel all over the world but I swore back then that I would never set foot in Portugal again and I have kept my word.

Blimey Dee , that must have been awful ;(
People love Portugal , I've never been myself

Yes, a week in Palma at the end of the season. The hotel was awful, food was crap, hardly anything open - I know that's on us for picking the time of year. Never mind we thought, at least we can just relax in the sun... It rained every day and was freezing! Not the usual quick warm shower then back to heat, no, just endless grey skies and rain. So cold that we had to go and buy warmer clothes. Absolutely gutted. I hear Palma being recommended all the time but I'd never go back!

Touring Egypt with the teen kids. It was hell. We'd wanted to go for years and once we got there, I wanted to go straight back home. As did they. Too hot. Too much travelling for them.

Going anywhere also meant that the Egyptian men thought they could eye me up, comment on my figure, my looks, my desire to not respond to their cat calls or their offer of "services" I didn't want.

Everywhere. We. Went.

Awful. Awful. Awful.

Should have been the holiday of a lifetime. Instead it was a special sort of hell because of the lecherous Egyptian men. AND my boyf dumped me via text to boot.

Last Holiday we went on in 2022.

Had been to a mind blowing resort in June 2019 as part of a huge family holiday (grandparents, us, sisters, brother and all partners and all 7 kids) and it was INCREDIBLE. Everything kept really nice, amazing A La Carte restaurants which were all different from one another and served amazing food, a buffet that was actually nice and not the usual shit you get at all-inclusives. Plenty of space by the pool for everyone, no mad 8am rush as everyone seemed sensible and wouldn't reserve a lounger with a towel all day only to bugger off out. All of the loungers were padded, comfortable luxury ones and you could hire day-bed lungers on the fly which overlooked the ocean, next to a gorgeous infinity pool. Entertainment was diverse, plenty for adults, children and seniors and night entertainment was classy, local acts from across the islands (no shit singers akin to karaoke) and it was at a reasonable volume so as not to disturb people well into the night. Brilliant Kids Club who even came out to the pool for those who weren't signed up to entertain the kids. Teens also had a club of their own who did a ton of fun stuff with them. Generous alcohol measures of branded spirits included in AI, with BETTER branded spirits locked by loyalty or you could pay (think Smirnoff in AI and Grey Goose to be paid for). Even the bog standard generic cocktails were decent nevermind the fancy ones made at the cocktail bar - again, included in AI. And to top it all off an actual, genuine, fully stocked minibar, fully included in the cost with a selection of wine, beer, spirits cans of soft drinks, juice for the kids and two massive bottles of water - restocked EVERY day! Exceptionally clean rooms, amazing staff, the kind of place that is SO good that people go there over and over again and hence why we paid through the nose to go there with our kids after the pandemic lifted. This is the holiday that was so good that, despite me ending up in hospital for 5/12 days, it was still wonderful.

By June 2022 it had turned to complete shit. Minibar gone, lucky if you get the water daily. Tea and coffee stuff in room was never cleaned and cleared, we had to keep asking. Our electrical socket for the tv was hanging out the wall with exposed wires which isn't ideal with a crawling baby. Staff minimal and rushed off their feet across the whole resort including all the restaurants and buffet which was now "generic buffet crap" sat under lamps for ages before they even opened. They changed the theme of the "grill" restaurant from amazing Portugese style massive meat skewers served at your table deal to shit steaks (you can get better at home in a mid-level steakhouse). The Asian Fusion restaurant which had been incredible also went to shit and everything they served up was dry and inedible, even the deserts. We had a couple of stormy days and the ceilings in the top floor rooms and in the lobby and bar caved and leaked water constantly. People had to be moved rooms and had belongings that got totally destroyed like electronics. Someone told us it happened every time it rained after 2021 and they just kept patching it. Alcohol was now extremely watered down, generic brands only with branded alcohol locked behind a loyalty scheme, and the cocktails not worth it even for free. Entertainment was basically one person Karaoke except for an acoustic duo who were ok at best. Blasted until 1am so lound you could hear it with doors closed a significant distance away in your room. Pool was a free for all from 7am some days and others they had the barriers up, but with people queueing and running like total animals to get the "best" sun loungers. Physical fights breaking out over loungers, which were now those hideous plastic pieces of shit, 50% of which were broken. Day bed loungers were now also locked behind the loyalty scheme but even so they had seen better days. All of the outdoor massage pagodas had been removed. Entertainment at pool now same generic crap cycling 3 days and catering pretty much just to adults. Kids club scaled back completely to a small room, no teen programme and doubled in price.

I could have put up with that but we all got burnt on the first day despite sunscreen right off the plane and spent 3/6 days indoors, all in agony.

Despite this we booked to go with the in-laws again later in the year for a shirt break and it was just the same, only DH got really ill and ended up in bed most of the holiday and MIL couldn't bloody leave us alone. We HAD to be off doing something EVERY day. God knows why we went back, but NEVER again.