Oh my god, do I need to get something for my man for valentines?

[blackpup]

I can't believe February crept up so fast. I am still in Xmas mode. I had weeks from hell as well over the past month. It's everything. It's not normal regular stress. Normal regular stress would be every day stuff like work and paying bills and looking after kids. Mine is an aging parent placing me in an impossible situation and forcing me down the route of helping her while she explodes anger in my face and then also I am dealing with a nutjob ex friend and sickness too.

It's all too much.

Now in a few days it's valentine's Day and my man is the only thing keeping me going but valentines wasn't in my mind. I have no idea what to get him. I acnt afford a weekend away because a lot of hotels and establishments are too expensive. I am too stressed to organise and book a weekend to Europe. There is just too much shit floating and swimming around my head and all I want to do is go to bed.

For nearly 30y I have hidden red foil covered chocolate hearts in my dOH's bag on 13 Feb in the evening, for him to find when he's at work on Valentine's Day.

Just a tiny thing. It's all that's needed.

Work had thrown more crap my way today and it looks like there will be more crap tomorrow and Wednesday and all week too.

I am really not in any position or free enough to get to any shops and it's probably too late to order online too.

Write him a note saying he's keeping you going and you appreciate him. Give him a hug. This too shall pass x

Surely he knows you are stressed? Tell him you will get him something later if it matters to you.

No.

Aside from the fact that its a meaningless commercial enterprise, you've had too much on your plate to worry about it.

If you feel you need to get something for your partner, just get him a bar of his favourite chocolate, or order a takeaway, or cook him a favourite meal and tell him how much he's helped you through all your recent stress.

What's he going to do for you on Valentines knowing how much pressure you are under, I would just get favourite drink or chocolates and let him spoil you.

This.

Married 45 years, we buy each other a card, and have a lovely meal and some wine

He's likely only going to add to my stress and get me flowers.

I hate flowers. Or I don't hate them. They are nice and pretty but I hate dealing with them. I hate working a long and hard day and it could be any sort of hours from morning til night, coming home and seeing flowers and they are all wrapped in plastic and needs a vase and needs to be taken care off. I just want to have dinner and go to bed. I don't have time to stand over the sink fighting with flowers and all I want to do is chuck them out.

Then don't.

If he brings you flowers, leave them in the plastic until he puts them in a vase and makes them look beautiful for you.

So tell him that then.

Valentine flowers are usually a rip off, tell him not to get you anything, you don't get him anything either. Maybe just order a takeaway.

Talk to him! Tell him you adore him but please don't make a fuss for valentines. Tell him you're feeling stressed and just spending time with him makes you feel better and that's all you need. Romantic :)

Isn’t Valentine’s Day for teenagers or people you have a crush on but aren’t in a relationship with? You definitely don’t need to get a present. You can order a card online which will be delivered in time.

No need to wrestle flowers, I think you’re being a bit OTT, just stick them in a vase.

1 - tell him you don't want flowers.
2 - tell him that yes really you don't want flowers.
3 - tell him how stressed you are at the moment and you just need his love and support.
If he loves you - that's all he needs to know.

Why are you worrying about not being able to afford a weekend away or getting a gift when he's going to give you...a bog standard cliche? Just pay for a takeaway for you both, add a couple candles to the table and voila!

Tell him you don't want flowers and say why don't we book lovely restaurant for weekend and pay for each other instead of a gift

Cook him dinner

Are you good at cooking? Cook him a beautiful home cooked dinner with candles. A nice film with some treats and then whatever is up to you. Doesn't have to cost the earth.

The tone of mumsnet posts is so odd these days

No. A card, at most, or just write him a note. I think most longstanding couples really don't bother with such a commercial hoohah.

You are way overthinking it. You could pick up a takeaway & some wine or his favorite chocolate bar or even just send him a text saying Happy Valentines 💝. We celebrate, but it's never involved a weekend away or a Europe city break. It's just a bit of fun and a chance to indulge in some mid week cheesy romance.

No you don't have to buy anything, or do something a lot less ambitious .... curry and a band at the local pub on Saturday? Or just an M&S dine in meal for 2

Who actually says “my man”.

Do you normally do Valentine’s Day? If yes, then have a quick word about how stressed you’ve been and how it’s crept up on you. He should understand. Then just go out for dinner. If you don’t do it then don’t make a big deal and let it go past.

Why don't you book in a couples massage for the weekend and tell him about it in a card - you need a treat too!

I got my DH a waffle maker in the Jan sales which is hidden til Weds. But we have only been married 3 years!