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Original poster

Teen stepdaughter messaging older man (celeb)

32 replies

Stepmumsue · 10/02/2024 22:21

My step dd is 14. I’m younger than her dad so we are more like friends. Recently she had a sleepover at our house and it transpires her and her friends are messaging a much older actor (50s) I won’t name him as not relevant and he’s fine nothing wrong. They were quite open and showed me messages and replies (them flirty and he was appropriate in his replies). They have also made TikTok’s calling him a dilf etc. is this ok to just let them get on with it or do I need to tell her dad? She trusts me so I feel it could damage our relationship and no danger of anything happening as he is a celebrity and in another country!

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 10/02/2024 22:53

This is strange and not appropriate. You should speak to her dad and tell him what’s going on.
Are they certain they are talking to this ‘celeb’ and not just a random person claiming to be the celebrity.

I know you’re worried about damaging the relationship but she’s your stepdaughter and you have a duty of care here. She might be angry but will get over it in time.

StarTwirl · 10/02/2024 22:58

I'm guessing it's a fake account of this actor

StarTwirl · 10/02/2024 23:00

Give them the worst scariest scenarios ever to get them to cancel and block all contact with this person

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14 year olds
wellhello24 · 10/02/2024 23:03

You should name & shame him. Yep his replies are “appropriate “ because his social media team can read them but the fact he’s replying to teenagers shows he’s loving this attention personally and he full well knows his replies will massively encourage them as they’ll be all star struck. What a creep.

Original poster
Stepmumsue · 10/02/2024 23:13

I dint think he’s a creep as he doesn’t know how old they are (think generic pic of a pet as profile pic) he has ignored anything flirty but answered a few questions regarding his work. I wouldn’t want to name and shame and damage his career but I will speak to her dad I think. Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
Original poster
Stepmumsue · 10/02/2024 23:14

The account is verified but not sure it isn’t an assistant answering

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 10/02/2024 23:14

20 quid says its some chancer pretending to be the celebrity

Original poster
Stepmumsue · 10/02/2024 23:16

cpujd he s member of his staff I agree. I’m sure once her dad finds out he will message this man himself and contact will stop. If not then he is a creep!

OP posts:
ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 11/02/2024 00:55

You don't think he's a creep? Even if he isn't and it us actually him, he is completely inappropriate to be engaging with children who are flirting with him.

Come on!

giggly · 11/02/2024 01:03

Regards of the texting if your dd is 14 then you are not friends unless you have other friends in that age bracket which let’s face it is just weird.
You are a step PARENT not her friend

wandawaves · 11/02/2024 01:06

It's probably a catfishing scam.

Circlesandsquares10 · 11/02/2024 01:07

How famous is he?

TheShellBeach · 11/02/2024 01:08

wandawaves · 11/02/2024 01:06

It's probably a catfishing scam.

Very likely.

MissRheingold · 11/02/2024 01:11

It's stepMOTHER or stepPARENT. NOT stepFRIEND.

It's unlikely to be the actual celebrity.

skmissty · 11/02/2024 01:20

I run social media accounts for high profile people who don't have time or who need it for work but can't be bothered maintaining it.
Trust me, people like me don't answer to random DM's. Ever. It's not an assistant.

If it's verified on TikTok then it's real. It's quite difficult to be verified on there. It's not like meta where you can buy a tick.

Owlontheprowl · 11/02/2024 01:22

Becky Vardy messages me back. She’s quite nice really.

QueenBitch666 · 11/02/2024 01:22

It's a fake account

skmissty · 11/02/2024 01:23

You're probably not a wee girl and probably not calling her a dilf.

sashh · 11/02/2024 02:07

Send a DM to the account saying he is messaging a group of children aged about 14 and needs to stop and block.

HoHoHoliday · 11/02/2024 02:33

I've sometimes messaged celebrities and had replies. It does happen! Doesn't mean the account is fake.
To be honest I don't see a problem with it. You say he has ignored anything flirty and only responded to questions about his work. What's the harm in that? They will very likely get over their crush soon and move on to someone else.
I do see a problem with them making "dilf" videos about him or anyone else though. That needs to stop! It's a vulgar term to use and it's inappropriate for their age.
Regardless, why are they using social media without parental oversight?

samqueens · 11/02/2024 04:16

Not about the celeb but totally about the children involved. I’d be up front with her that this isn’t something you can keep from her dad because you both want her to be as safe as possible and this is (mildly) risky behaviour online and extrapolated to IRL would be more problematic. This guy might be sensible enough not to react but not everyone is like that. Most well known people will absolutely not be drawn into this kind of thing and will be VERY used to it (or their assistants will be!) - lesser /younger “celebs” and influencers I wouldn’t be so sure of.

Sending a fan message or making a fan video - fine, I mean cringe, but that’s teenagers. It’s more about what attention they could attract from their posts and what messages their posts send about them. Probably don’t need to be super heavy handed, just “will have to tell your dad - we want you to be safe” and then a joint chat about how messaging online and being super flirty, especially if it’s not just online, can make you vulnerable. Hate SM so much.

Original poster
Stepmumsue · 11/02/2024 04:48

Thank you. I still stand by the fact he’s not a creep he doesn’t know they are kids. I’ve seen all messages and not concerned about him it’s the kids I’m concerned about as the next guy might but be so nice. Everyone is asleep now (I’m up feeding baby!!). In the morning I will chat with her and tell her dad. I know we are not friends but I’m not old enough to be her mother so have more of a big sister role. I agree she is a child and needs to be monitored in sm. That’s up to my husband and his ex wife from now on though!

OP posts:
xyz111 · 11/02/2024 06:25

If he married/ in a relationship? If yes, then he is totally a creep, even if he doesn't realise he's not talking to a bunch of 14 year olds. I think you're being naive as to what his motives are.

AinsleyHayes · 11/02/2024 06:49

If the account is definitely blue-tick verified then it is being monitored and operated by a member of staff. No question. Your DSD needs a very clear explanation of the ways in which social media managers use the platforms to give the illusion of access to the celebrity, and how easy it is to fake an identity online.

You are right to tell her father. You are going to have to re-evaluate your role as a step-mother and I don’t think it’s really relevant that you are not old enough to be her parent. ‘Big sister’ is not going to be a healthy basis for your relationship through the teen years, especially as your own baby grows up and your DSD sees you parenting him / her.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 11/02/2024 08:15

@Stepmumsue how the hell does she know the person she is messaging is actually the person she thinks he is?? it could be any tom, dick or harry or pervert!!!! this is not good!

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