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Original poster

Dd (14) watched an 18 film at friends

48 replies

Whoknew76 · 10/02/2024 22:19

Dd who is 14 has just come home and admitted she watched the film Thirteen at her friends house. It looks way too grown up. I’m a bit annoyed but I don’t think the parents knew. Should I say something ?

OP posts:
jolies1 · 10/02/2024 22:21

Watching 18 cert films at sleepovers at that age was a bit of a rite of passage when I was that age!

Ribbonss · 10/02/2024 22:22

Nah I wouldn’t bother. By the time they’re 14 they’ve probably seen it all and been exposed to all sorts at school anyway!

whatausername · 10/02/2024 22:22

No.

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14 year olds
FabFebHalfTerm · 10/02/2024 22:23

Of course not. It's what kids do. At 14 they could be up to way worse things!!

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/02/2024 22:25

Did you not watch something you were not suppose to watch, when younger?

Aquamarine1029 · 10/02/2024 22:25

Come on now. Calm down.

AKAsomeoneelse · 10/02/2024 22:25

No don’t say anything. It’s a forbidden fruit type thing that happens at sleepovers.

Jellybeanz456 · 10/02/2024 22:25

14 and your worry is a film thank your lucky stars she's not getting drunk and smoking drugs like every other 14 year old.

TheShellBeach · 10/02/2024 22:26

They all watch 18s when they're about 12 - 14.

It's normal.

Original poster
Whoknew76 · 10/02/2024 22:29

Yes you are right. I think I forget what teenagers do! Thanks for replies

OP posts:
PringPring · 10/02/2024 22:29

Oh wow.
I was doing so much worse at 14.

Is your dd okay with what she watched? If she is I'd leave it be, if she isn't I'd talk to her (not the other child's parents) about what she can do if she's uncomfortable with something and wants an out. Don't make a big deal out of it, keep her feeling able to be honest with you about what's going on in her life.

I don't think I'd be too panicked or outraged at a 14 year old watching an 18 film, most 14 year olds these days are sadly seeing all sorts of real life horror and explicit stuff sadly through their phones or their friends phones, the news, pop ups, emails, social media etc.

I have a adult child and a primary school aged child. The older one watching an older rated movie I can honestly say I've never thought to worry about!!

Onabench · 10/02/2024 22:29

I wouldn’t bother raising anything at an 18 rated movie at 14.

I will say, I know the film extremely well. I’d actually watch it if I were you. It covers self harm, addiction, sex. A general downwards spiral in a teenagers life. I watched it at 13 and I found it triggered certain feelings in me, that talking through with an adult would have been extremely helpful.

Gooshka1 · 10/02/2024 22:30

No, it's not worth worrying about. Mine all did the same at sleepovers and they've turned out to be 'normal' adults. Pretty sure I did the same too - it's far more exciting when it's not allowed!

NewDogOwner · 10/02/2024 22:30

That's literally what sleepovers are for.

PutMyFootIn · 10/02/2024 22:31

I won't tell you what I was up to when I was 14!

houseydnc · 10/02/2024 22:33

Are you for real😂

Whu · 10/02/2024 22:34

Let’s not pile on OP she’s taken it in good grace!

FWIW I was a drinking and smoking teen… but yet I hated horror movies. I once feigned illness so my mum had to come and collect me to get out of watching American Psycho! So make sure your DD knows she can call you is she’s uncomfortable about anything.

PaulAnkaTheDoggo · 10/02/2024 22:34

Ah I remember 13! Remember watching it when I was 14/15. None of us used it as inspiration, all seemed a bit weird and preachy, and we were regular drinkers and weed smokers. Rite of passage!

SmileyClare · 10/02/2024 22:38

Why do you think she told you?
It’s great that she’s open with you. Be careful with over reacting; it might discourage her to confide in you in future.

I definitely didn’t tell my mum most of the stuff I got up to as a teen! I remember watching Eurotrash on my neighbour’s tv when I was babysitting at that age 😂

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/02/2024 22:41

I would be glad if that's all a 14 year old did. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable just remember that at sleepovers and someone else's house you have no idea what's going on, if parents are supervising, if there are older siblings or uncles in the house that might be predatory... if you allow sleepovers it's always good to have a 'get me out of here' code text or emoji set up with your child so you can then call up and say 'you didn't do the dishes before leaving your punishment is you can't sleep over' and go and get your child (and the key to this is they don't HAVE to tell you what's made them want to leave - otherwise they won't want to use this option)

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/02/2024 22:43

You can also let the other parents know rules that you have eg no drinking or no boys there, and see if they're on the same page and if not then you host the sleepovers at your
House where you can be in control of the rules

Suchagroovyguy · 11/02/2024 00:27

I was watching 18s way younger than that. She’s 14! I think I was drinking then.

Sugarfish · 11/02/2024 03:11

I watched that film when I was around her age. It’s honestly not that bad compared to other 18s out there. And it doesn’t glamourise drugs or underage sex. It’s actually quite sad.

JanglingJack · 11/02/2024 03:23

My friends Mum and Dad used to own a pub. We got up to all sorts in the evenings upstairs! We did have to phone her Mum to come and switch the Tele off once. We were 12 - too scared to get out of bed watching American Werewolf in London 🤣

helpnohelpno · 11/02/2024 03:47

I've seen thirteen I wouldn't want my 14 year old watching it. But also accept teens do this sort of thing. I'd feel pleased she feels she can tell you, you obviously have a solid relationship, I'd ask if she felt ok watching it and if she has any questions. Then you could maybe remind her 18 films may contain stuff she's not ready to see and she can always talk to you/ask questions. Then I'd drop it