So bored in the evenings

[Whatever24]

I know in a way it’s a luxury to be bored in the evenings as I have had years of non-stop work and family life but dc are older now and it’s only me and a 17 year old at home.

Tonight I have watched the rugby, tidied the kitchen, sorted a cupboard, did a 10 minute YouTube workout, watched two programmes on tv, read a few chapters of a book, reread some old magazines, did a crossword, browsed the internet. I could do some chores but don’t feel inclined. I had a bath and did my hair this morning. Dc doesn’t want to do anything so I’m on my own. What do you do in the evenings if you have a lot of time to yourself?

Haha, I am a bit like you tonight too. JuT kicking around and got to stay up to pick said teen up from a party at midnight.

Usually I work til about 7 in the week, have something to eat, have a bath and then we do watch one show together usually about 9ish. We don’t eat a V proper meal together most nights as they eat a meal when they get in from school.

I guess it is better than arguing and I don’t want to be playing monopoly every night, it is wierd though after years of chasing one’s arse so to speak.

At 17 you can leave them - start getting your life back ... make a start

I need to make more of an effort to connect with friends and plan tho gs to do in evenings at the weekends. I don’t yet though as kind of used to being ‘available’ for kids.

I agree. Go and meet people. What would you fancy doing?

I used to have a decent social life eg went to see live bands or a show or the cinema. That has gone by the wayside in the last few years for various reasons.

Play online games perhaps?

Sort of in between going out and staying in

And it could be any game doesn't have to be a shot em up, could be Scrabble for instance

Learn something- the guitar, or a language, maybe plan a holiday.

Go for latish swims - say 830 or 9. Can be really relaxing.

Ring a friend for a proper chat (sadly I only have 2 friends who will do this but it's a great pleasure).

Volunteer - for a phone befriending service maybe?

But why stay in? See friends, go to the theatre, a concert, a film? Go hillwalking in the daytime so you enjoy feeling nicely tired and full of fresh air by the fire at night? Go away for the weekend?

Learn to paint- at a class or YouTube tutorials

I agree with the poster who said you get used to being available’ for your kids, it requires a bit of a change of mindset to leave them to it! I’m in the same boat as the op. Not a big TV watcher and am online all day at work so don’t like being on laptop etc again in the evenings.

love ringing a pal for a chat but as someone else said it’s a lot more infrequent than in the past.

I’ve started going to bed very early during the week as I’d prefer to be asleep than bored. It’s a bit sad really, I kind of feel like my life is drifting past me a bit but haven’t found anything I really enjoy to fill the time.

My social life never really recovered after the pandemic eg I used to do a French class but it stopped and never restarted. I’ve found that with a few things eg exercise classes which you now can’t just turn up to. Also a couple of friends I used to see regularly moved away. I’ve been waiting so long to have a bit of time to myself and now I don’t know what to do with it!

There are some really great ideas here thanks!

I'm sort of in the same boat. I'm going to the gym or swimming too. But don't want to go out too much, as I do actually want to see the teens, even if only when they briefly surface!! And every so often they actually do need you, usually at 10 to 11.

But if you've told the teens you have plans that night and you'll be back later they'll wait until you're back or talk to you earlier. Dont put your plans on hold because they may fancy a chat at 11pm

Do training with my dog just in the living area , Cross stitch , paint nails after filing and and all that palaver . Hand writing , have some books to improve it , puzzles ,make pancakes if really at loose end, and read a book .

(Generally, not just evenings)

Crafting - knitting, crochet mostly. I'm also trying to learn Tunisian crochet and tatting from YouTube videos.

Sketching - both with actual pencils and paper, and with a digital pen and Autodesk sketchbook on my 10" tablet.

Playing games on my Xbox 360, mostly jewel type games, or board games like chess, draughts etc. against the computer. I'm crap; the computer always wins. 😅

I try to play recorder; I have all types, sopranino, descant, treble, bass. I'm not very good, but enjoy playing anyway.

Reading, both paper books and ebooks.

Writing in my diary. It's the type where I write about my day, my thoughts etc., not an appointments/ to do type. It probably makes for very dull reading, but I find it helpful and calming.

Listening to music I love, which is usually combined with something else, like knitting etc.

Watching TV, films etc, again, usually while crafting. We subscribe to Prime, and also find plenty to watch on BBC iPlayer, All4, My5, Itv hub etc.

Doing puzzles on my tablet like Classic Word (like Scrabble), Wordle etc.

General internet browsing.

I never feel bored, there's too much to do and think!

OP I could have written this, I'm in exactly the same position down to the T! Some great suggestions here, and I have another - I've recently acquired DS's old 'out of date' VR headset and it's amazing- fully immersive meditation apps, visit other worlds, apps where you can chat and meet others (if that's your thing) and obviously a whole host of games, I currently use it to play Beat Sabre which is so so fun and immersive and pure escapism. The bonus is it gets me off the couch and hours go by and I've been stealthily exercising (similar to tennis apparently). There are more intense workout games if you prefer- all really fun. I can't recommend enough.
Maybe we need to set up a regular support thread for us almost and empty nesters to support each other? This new phase is exciting and we deserve to enjoy it, but the transition I feel is going to be a tad difficult. 💐

I'd be interested hearing more. Is there a brand or certain app you use for it? I have no idea how any of it works.

Pokemon Go, exercise class, organising next fun thing to do, volunteering, tidying, cleaning.

tbh, I'm on the Go so much in the day that I have plenty of home-stuff to do in evenings, or I'm usually too tired at night to get bored.

@RantyAnty you buy the VR (virtual reality) headset, set up an account and download games or apps as you wish. Beat sabre, Hitstream and Tripp are my favourites but I haven't explored nearly enough - there's so much to choose from.
With regards to actual headset mine is a 1st generation Quest, now discontinued but possibly available secondhand fairly affordably from Cex or EBay. Next gen Meta Quest 2 and now 3 are very popular. Apple has just released a headset too. This is a roundup of what's out there atm uk.pcmag.com/virtual-reality/75926/the-best-vr-headsets

Take up knitting or crocheting. The evenings will fly by!

I also often listen to audio books while I'm knitting or sketching etc. I listen to BBC Sounds for this, and I borrow audio books from my library via the Libby or Borrowbox apps. There's so much choice.

You tube is great plus the channel Quest Red on tv can be good as tv is really terrible at present.

Can you do something to connect with your dc? We have an 18 year old son. We watch a couple of episodes of a series we all enjoy a few nights a week. Nice bit of family time. Or ds will suggest a movie night. Ds shares his dad's taste in music so they go to see bands together and he and i will go to the cinema together and occasionally the theatre. Eating out is also popular. He has his own mates and interests too as do we but we are close as a little family. You can develop your own interests too but surely there is something you can share with dc like a movie?

I’m in the same situation here, just one 17 year old left at home who is likely to be off to college in the autumn. At the moment we do quite a bit together but it is decreasing and I need some outlets for my energy other than sitting on my bum watching screens. Once she has passed her driving test, which is next month, I suspect she will be out much more. Thinking of doing some evening swimming sessions, which I will enjoy. But I think I need something else too and am considering a course of something academic, though it’s still too early to decide what. I have been trying to locate local book clubs but there doesn’t seem to be anything! And I need to make friends to go to the cinema with, now I am no longer restricted to kids films! I have a DH but beyond the very occasional evening out, he is content to sit all evening and moans when family events disturb his peace (though he does turn up and is cheerful at the event), I’m not so need to spread my wings a bit. No way am I doing crafts though, they are not for me, I am awful at them.