So bored in the evenings

[Whatever24]

I know in a way it’s a luxury to be bored in the evenings as I have had years of non-stop work and family life but dc are older now and it’s only me and a 17 year old at home.

Tonight I have watched the rugby, tidied the kitchen, sorted a cupboard, did a 10 minute YouTube workout, watched two programmes on tv, read a few chapters of a book, reread some old magazines, did a crossword, browsed the internet. I could do some chores but don’t feel inclined. I had a bath and did my hair this morning. Dc doesn’t want to do anything so I’m on my own. What do you do in the evenings if you have a lot of time to yourself?

I also bought myself a couple of 1000 piece jigsaws in the sale, haven't started them yet, though.

I tried crocheting and all that stuff. Did not work and was bored shitless.

I'm not a 'hobbies' person I'm a people person.

The last couple of years I've built a lovely social life for evenings and weekends. For years before I kept trying to find a hobby that I could stick to and never managed it.

I have a cinema date with two old friends once a week/sometimes a fortnight as we're all busy.

I go to the gym 3x a week with another friend, sometimes we gym sometimes we swim.

I have a vague walking date with another friend.

I go and see my aunty for a cup of tea after work every couple of weeks.

I usually go for a monthly meal out with some old school friends. I have a standing fortnightly lunch with a friend at work. I take my nan out for lunch on a weekend mostly monthly but I aim for more.

I usually go for a hike with my boyfriend over the weekend, a nice meal out and have a few gins.

Don't discount your local pub either. I can now go to my local pub by myself and chat with the other locals/regulars. Makes a weekday evening much more fun!

I realised that I like people more than activities but activities that I do like involve doing something energetic not sat down with a paintbrush or knitting needles. I tried for years to knit, paint, garden, do puzzles etc but it never held my interest.

There's nothing stopping you doing these things now. I'll quite often go see a standup comic or a band by myself. I generally get chatting to someone sat next to me or at the bar, have even met a few new friends.

@Whatever24 would you say it's socialising with people you miss? How about bumble BFF or meet up? There's social groups on Facebook. I have a few going in our area. Lots of people have made friends. I hate the thought of people being lonely that's why I started them. I'm mega sociable 🙂

@Bobbotgegrinch micro bars are good for that. I'd recommend looking out for quiz nights. You can drink soft or low/zero alcohol drinks if you don't drink. I know a few pubs I'd happily go into alone.

this resonates with me, I am definitely a people person rather than a hobbies person. Don’t enjoy craft/ painting/ online gaming/. I was in a relationship until recently which meant I had someone to go walking with, meals out etc but since we broke up I am struggling to find available friends as well as being restricted by kids activities etc. I feel quite lonely even though I have quite a lot of friends they are mostly married and happy to meet up every few months rather than weekly.

@Mrsfoxtrot have you done anything to try and meet others? Sometimes we have to push ourselves. Once you get out of your comfort zone it gets easier. There's lots of groups out there if you look. Depends on where you live of course.

I'm stuck at home as have younger teens and also have a medical condition which exhausts me.

But in your situation i would;

• go to the cinema
• volunteer at our community theatre (I do this now as a ticket taker but do the matinee showings)
• write articles (I am starting to do that while the DCs do homework)
• start a book club (I belong to one already)
• paint

Also- last year i did a 6 week extra job in order to uplift the family summer holiday. If I had more energy I'd do something like bar staff one night a week.

That's a lot more in a day than I'd ever achieve.

I think you need to learn to relax and slow down.

Could you actually sit on a chair in a silent room for half an hour?

Train yourself to tolerate nothingness. Do meditation and yogic breathing. Do thought exercises. Day dream.

I play the keyboard and I am already in a book club. I have done a counselling course and I have done a few zoom courses but I have found those hard work and not as enjoyable as in person. I see a few groups of friends for a daytime coffee or a walk. I do have family commitments so I’m busy helping elderly parents sometimes. Also dc and I sometimes shop together or go for a meal. They like cooking so sometimes we make a Gousto meal together. We used to watch a few programmes together and really enjoy it but they are not interested in anything at the moment. It sounds like I do a lot but I am still left with a lot of time to fill especially in the evenings and on weekends.

I am definitely thinking of joining a gym and going to exercise classes which I haven’t done for four years so it’s time I got fit again. There are some other excellent ideas here although I definitely find there is not as much on in my area any more. I have great friends but some of them are doing family things or not going out a lot in the evenings either. I need people who are at a loose end like me.

I am definitely looking for social things to do rather than a hobby at home but as I do spend a lot of time at home, it would be good to get into something to pass the time.

Deffo join the gym and do some classes OP.

@Mrsfoxtrot have a look on Facebook for local walking groups. There will most likely be a ramblers club in your local area as well. There is also a fb page called adventure singles dating. They do loads of meet ups and hiking camping weekends away. It's not just for dating.

Another thing I like doing and that is an at home thing is putting an audio book on and doing some sort of DIY, I'm not very good at it but I did get some really nice bedside tables last year and sanded them down, glossed them and changed the handles on them. I felt a real sense of achievement from it! I quite like keeping an eye out on gumtree for little treasures like that to do.

@Whatever24 I hope you find something? Do you have a community centre? A local Facebook page? They're usually good for finding things to do?

You did all that of an evening? After I've cooked dinner and eaten it, watched a couple shows, last walk with dogs and its 11pm.
Take up a hobby - I crochet. It January I made two beanies and matching scarves, half a dozen scrunchies, a very long scarf requested by DD and a baby blanket! Now making my first garment. Not only takes up time, keeps your brain working and produces something useful in the end!

Thanks @PlantsFallLikeDominoes my children are still too young to be left alone for more than an hour or so. They don’t stay with their dad very often and it’s unpredictable so I can’t really make plans in advance which makes socialising hard.

I do love audiobooks though!

Have you checked the local meetup activities in your area? Wine tasting at a local pub or club around? Any community activities from your council ?

Too fatigued every evening to be bored unfortunately.

I eat all evening.. out of boredom.

I’m a bit restricted as kids are with me more or less full time so often my free time is a bit last minute. I’m focusing on trying to see more of my existing friends at the moment but thinking of changing gym to see if there’s a more social one than my current one. I’m quite happy chatting to new people, joining new groups etc but not much free time at the moment.

You could try Rock Choir.

There’s an enjoyable free puzzle called redactle which I do most evenings.