TW - miscarriage. How soon can I try again?

[lkjhuytiop]

Unfortunately miscarrying today at 5+6. Heartbroken.

The EPU were not great on the phone and it almost sounded like a telling off when I asked when I could try again, they were really quite unsympathetic and said ‘you must wait for a full period otherwise you can end up with pregnancy complications’. I pointed out that I read the NHS website which said you can try as soon as you’re ready but if you wait you will be surer of your dates (words to that effect). She replied rather briskly, ‘yes we read that same website but what I’m saying to you isn’t going to change’

It wasn’t what I needed to hear when I am feeling so delicate and sad. All I want is a healthy baby and to be pregnant. Can I try as soon as the bleeding stops? I don’t want to go against official NHS advice but it seemed as if this member of staff wasn’t saying the same as the NHS website.

Thank you all very much in advance x

I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes you can try again immediately. There's no added risk of pregnancy complications.

Hello,
I had similar situation to you I was a bit further along, but utterly devastated, I reached out to Tommy’s and it was helpful to chat to someone about it all.
We also fortunately got pregnant again right away (no such research in aware of re ‘complications’ but it can make your EDD a bit harder to work out) like we had sec 2 weeks after MC and then we’re pregnant again within 4 weeks so we estimated based off when I may have got caught instead of say first day of period! We have a happy healthy 6 month old :)
best of luck to you and I’m so sorry for your loss it hurts a lot no matter how far along you are 💖

So sorry for your loss hugs. I’ve been where you are. If you haven’t already, get some ovulation tests (those thin ones) and start testing when the bleeding slows or stops, no need to wait, good luck 💖

Also: bit of advice you can stay positive for a few weeks after MC so maybe take another test in 10 days -2 weeks time make sure it’s come back to negative because I took one super early afterward and it had a faint line and it send my head into a spin!

@Overthebs thank you. I don’t know why the lady at the EPU said differently, nothing on Google supports what she said. I appreciate the good news story and so pleased you got your rainbow. X

I'm so sorry for your loss

I got pregnant twice after miscarriages before I'd had a period. Both were successful pregnancies.

Thank you. How did you date the pregnancy? The EPU were trying to say my womb lining wouldn’t have built up enough which made me worry

Does anyone else have any experiences of this?

You can try again as soon as you feel ready. Big hugs to you.

Womb lining isn't cumulative, it doesn't just thicken and thicken and thicken like that. When you next ovulate, your lining will thicken by the same amount it normally would regardless of a miscarriage in the previous cycle.

You can start trying again as soon as you're ready, the only real reason they say to wait a month is that it makes it easier to date the pregnancy and so that you know your positive test is a new pregnancy rather than lingering hormones from the previous pregnancy.

IME, there are quite a few EPU staff who could use some empathy training!

Thank you so much. She did seem really condescending, it made a sad situation sadder.

@lkjhuytiop At first I just dated them from my miscarriage. I paid for an 8 week scan with the first one so got more accurate date then. With the second one I waited til 12 weeks.

Even before your first proper period after?

EPU are talking bollocks. I found out I was pregnant 3w 6d after my miscarriage so I got pregnant straight away with no period inbetween and have a healthy 8 month old on my knee. Best of luck OP and sending you lots of love at this time xxx

Thank you so much xxx

It happens a lot in pregnancy (I am learning!) that health care professionals spout stuff rote but have no idea what the background or reasoning behind it is.

It makes it easier for them to date your pregnancy if you wait but there’s no other benefit, in fact you have a higher chance of falling pregnant in the first 3 months after pregnancy loss so you’re just wasting one of those improved chances not to!

agree it’s best to see a negative test before you start trying to avoid undue heartache!

so sorry for your loss and subsequent lack of empathy from EPU!

I am currently pregnant - 15 weeks- after a loss, we didn’t wait!

https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/abstract/2016/02000/trying_to_conceive_after_an_early_pregnancy_loss_.4.aspx source for my post if you’re interested

I didn't even think about it, miscarried at 9 weeks and got pregnant again before having another period.

V sorry you’re going through this. I had two early MCs where the MC was ‘incomplete’ which took time to resolve, one time through a procedure, wondering if that could be part of the ‘advice’.

This is really interesting. Thank you!

Sorry for your loss. I had a 12 wk mc in august one year. DTD once around ovulation in September and got my positive in October. She's 12 now xx

Thank you xxx

Hi! I don’t have any experience of being pregnant or miscarrying (infertility of unknown causes) but I wanted to say that I’m sure I’ve heard you’re more fertile in the three months after a miscarriage. I’ve heard of so many people on Mumsnet getting pregnant very fast after a miscarriage; even when they’d had fertility issues prior to that. So definitely try.

I’m sorry that the EPU were so abrupt with you. That must have made a sad and lonely time feel even sadder and lonelier. They shouldn’t have been like that to you. Next time you’re pregnant, can you go to a different hospital? Or if you do go to the same one, use Tommy’s if you need any advice. Tommy’s is fantastic.

Best of luck with it all. I have a feeling you will get lucky soon, I really do. Miscarriage ‘primes’ the uterus for pregnancy. That said, I’m very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need and do whatever it takes to feel better xxx

I have had a miscarriage before each of my successful pregnancies. The first time waited for a period then fell straight away and the second time I didn't wait and fell pregnant without a period in between but I did make sure I had a negative pregnancy test in between. Both led to healthy babies. The one without the period in between they dated from my miscarriage which wasn't too far off.

Sorry you're going through this op. I had a MC at 9 weeks in August and got pregnant straight away - BFP 5 weeks after the bleeding first started and no period in between. We knew we would try again straight away as we'd had other MC's previously so just wanted to get on with it. What helped us was using OPK's so I knew when I was ovulating after the MC. I started using them every day as soon as the bleeding stopped and currently 26 weeks pregnant as I type this.

Also, EPU staff are a really mixed bag, as mentioned I've had a couple of previous MC and the totally lack of empathy just makes it even more awful!