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Original poster

Secondary class allocation -whose wishes count most?

29 replies

ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 15:16

DD has just had her Yr6 parents evening. The teachers said she'll get to write down one name and she will be put with this person in the same class at secondary.

DD stunned her teachers by asking if she could say who she doesn't want to be with in class. By their reaction (and knowing this girl has already had her parents meeting) I suspect this girl immediately said she would put down DD's name. Teachers have said they will note it down when they go to do class allocations but that they can't guarantee anything.

Whose choice is likely to carry more weight? The girl for saying she wants to be with DD
or
DD for saying that she doesn't want to be with this girl?
Anyone been in this situation before?

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 07/02/2024 15:19

In this situation, I would email the transitions team at the high school, I wouldn't rely on the year 6 teacher.

LakeTiticaca · 07/02/2024 15:20

Why does your DD
not want to be in her class?

PuttingDownRoots · 07/02/2024 15:20

How can they guarantee that? A names B, B names C, C names D etc... they can't all be kept happy!

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TeenDivided · 07/02/2024 15:26

I think your DD's wishes would take precedence.

Regardless it is up to the secondary school. They will be trying to balance friendships, SEN, ability, boy/girl etc across each class. When the time comes I too would email the transitions team. 'DD would prefer not to be with X. Although they have been friends and it is possible X has named DD to be with, DD finds her overwhelming and would prefer a fresh start in secondary. She is happy to be in a tutor group with no one from her school if necessary' (or whatever).

Comefromaway · 07/02/2024 15:28

That's a bonkers system.

When the classes were suddenly mixed in primary ds had to put down 5 names and they would guarantee being with one of them. To guarantee it on one name is bonkers.

CreateHope · 07/02/2024 15:31

Contact the secondary school - my DD had a really toxic friend that she needed to get away from and I made sure they were separated to the other side of the timetable at Y7 😬

BoohooWoohoo · 07/02/2024 15:31

I would contact the secondary school too. Can they really ensure that people are guaranteed friends in their class? As someone else said then parents would make sure that Amy chose Beth, Beth chose Charlotte and Charlotte chose Danielle so the four girls would be in the same class. Whole forms could end up as boys from X primary or girls from Y primary.

Original poster
ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 15:34

I'm pretty sure DS had to name two people, and they guaranteed one, but they definitely said one name as I queried it. I also don't see how they can.

The girl goes through phases of being lovely and then very suffocating (and manipulative) to the point where DD has not wanted to go to school.

OP posts:
shams05 · 07/02/2024 15:35

Is she joining a sister school? How can they even guarentee something like this?
Unless this is a private or independent school where children are just moving to a different building for high school why would the year 6 teacher think her opinion holds any weight with the secondary school?

TeenDivided · 07/02/2024 15:38

shams05 · 07/02/2024 15:35

Is she joining a sister school? How can they even guarentee something like this?
Unless this is a private or independent school where children are just moving to a different building for high school why would the year 6 teacher think her opinion holds any weight with the secondary school?

It is quite usual I think these days to ask primary schools re friendships when sorting out y7 tutor groups. It is in everyone's interests for the y7s to be happy and settled, and for problematic pairings to be separated.

It's the guaranteeing which is weird.

shams05 · 07/02/2024 15:48

Oh I didn't realise. My youngest teen is in year 11, neither of my three were ever consulted in regards to being with a mate from primary. My eldest went from a single form primary to a 5 form secondary, ended up in a form full of kids from the other side of town, when we requested the secondary school if it was possible that one of the 7 boys who'd moved to the school with him from primary might be with him they said there couldn't be any changes.
It turned out ok because he was in the same set as his 2 best friend for most subjects but he found the first few weeks very daunting. Form time with an unruly group from a different primary school gang was really difficult for him until he settled.

RockyRogue1001 · 07/02/2024 15:50

But secondary school allocations aren't known for another month.

There's no guarantee the children will even be in the same school

aitchteeaitch · 07/02/2024 15:52

This happened to us two years running. DD had a friend who was nice, but could be very domineering and bossy, and monopolised her, so she couldn't make other friends. Both years we were asked, DD said she didn't want to be in the same class as this girl, both years they put them together. because the other girl said she did. They were also dormed together on school trips despite us asking them not to do that.

I'd say you need to make a bit of a persistent stand on this one.

Original poster
ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 16:06

There's no guarantee the children will even be in the same school
Yes, there is as there's only one school! Our school (one class) and two neighbouring villages (2 classes and 3 classes) go to the secondary in the larger village (4 classes).

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 07/02/2024 16:10

I can tell you how I used to organise transition from primary to secondary. We had quite a few feeder schools that we always visited, talked to the children and the year 6 staff. The children wrote the names of up to three children they would like to be with and we also asked staff if there were pairings they wouldn’t recommend. We always said that we couldn’t guarantee they’d be with everyone they’d put down, but everyone would have at least one person they’d noted.

Bear in mind that there will be children from other schools and it also depends how many forms there are. Consider also, that they meet in form room for a short time daily, then they may well be in different classes during the day. This isn’t your problem OP, but I can tell you that it takes forever to sort out form groups, giving equal weight to preferences and non preferences, balancing as much as possible the academic abilities, boys/girls and a whole host of other factors.

If your daughter is really resistant to being with the other girl, then I’d hope her wishes would carry weight. As has been said, allocations aren’t out yet, so they might not be in the same school, but if they are, do mention it, so the primary staff can speak to the secondary.

ilovebreadsauce · 07/02/2024 16:20

At my dcs secondary school they did their level best not to put kids with their friends.I think that's a better system to make them find new friends

MargaretThursday · 07/02/2024 16:36

Depends on the schools etc.

The school my dc's went to, would say a don't want to be took priority over do every time. But they'd say name up to 3 people and we will try to put you with at least one.
However they were also reasonable at swapping forms after the induction day, or during the school years. They had two induction days and there were always a few that swapped forms for the second one.
One thing potentially to see is how flexible it is at changing forms once they're put in one. If they are rigid, it's more important than if they say that they can move around.

One local secondary as far as I can tell used to be as awkward as possible. Officially they said it was totally random. But I knew 5 or 6 times when parents had contacted and, for very good reasons which they had explained, asked if their dc could be separated from, and every time they were put together. Even the child whose parents had asked for her to be split from 2 girls (they were officially friends, but she was finding them more and more controlling) was put in the same form as both of them. (10 form entry). I can't imagine that was an accident.
Thankfully they've changed that policy, but it seemed unnecessarily complicating things for themselves.

TeenLifeMum · 07/02/2024 16:39

Our secondary asked for 3 names of friends and we had an opportunity to name any dc they didn’t want in their class with a brief reason. For dd1 we didn’t use that but for dtds we did as one dc from primary was being really unkind, verging on bullying.

AinsleyHayes · 07/02/2024 16:49

ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 16:06

There's no guarantee the children will even be in the same school
Yes, there is as there's only one school! Our school (one class) and two neighbouring villages (2 classes and 3 classes) go to the secondary in the larger village (4 classes).

That's six classes into four, OP Confused

Original poster
ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 16:55

No, sorry, that was unclear. It's a total of 10 Yr 6 classes into 10 classes in secondary. DS is not the most reliable of witnesses but from what he's said I don't think there is much movement between the classes once they start.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 07/02/2024 16:59

Do they do lessons in their form group? DD only sees hers 20 minutes a day. Then she has her Maths/Science class, her humanities class, her art/tech class, the all girls PE class...

ThanksItHasPockets · 07/02/2024 17:45

Speaking as a secondary teacher, in the case of conflicting requests like this we would generally try to accommodate the child who wants to be separated rather than the child who wants to be together, as it can be an indication of an unhealthy relationship that one party is trying to disentangle themself from. You will need to speak directly to the head of year 7 or the transition lead at the secondary school to be sure, however. The other child will never need to know.

Skiphopbump · 07/02/2024 17:53

I asked for one of my DDs and my DS not to be with specific children, the secondary schools listened.
I spoke to the head of year when we had a transition evening at the secondary. In DDs case I think all parents transitioning from DDs primary school made the same request as the child we were avoiding was out into a class without any others from primary.

frostyfeet · 07/02/2024 18:40

ColdAsConcrete · 07/02/2024 15:16

DD has just had her Yr6 parents evening. The teachers said she'll get to write down one name and she will be put with this person in the same class at secondary.

DD stunned her teachers by asking if she could say who she doesn't want to be with in class. By their reaction (and knowing this girl has already had her parents meeting) I suspect this girl immediately said she would put down DD's name. Teachers have said they will note it down when they go to do class allocations but that they can't guarantee anything.

Whose choice is likely to carry more weight? The girl for saying she wants to be with DD
or
DD for saying that she doesn't want to be with this girl?
Anyone been in this situation before?

We were asked by the secondary school if there were any kids from primary we didn't want our dd to be in class with.

sleekcat · 07/02/2024 18:47

I don't think my son was allowed to name anyone, despite the rumour that they would be able to. It would have been hopeless anyway, half the children including all his main friends, weren't offered a place at the school. I'm not sure he's ever been taught with his form though. They've always been all mixed up even before proper sets. I'm not even sure he really knows anyone in his form that well, and he's in Year 11 now!